"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.

I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it ,

no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would you say if tomorrow

I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"

The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes

her head and sweetly says "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

PWNED

thats hilarious

really haha

dirty pen0r joke be warned

so this nurse has a patient and before they do anything she says to him "dont worry, in all my years being here i have never laughed at a

patient."

so the patient pulls down his pants

and he has the tiniest -blam!-

ever

and the nurse starts cracking up

she comes back later and says "okay im sorry.. so whats the problem."

the patient says "its swollen."

and she just leaves the room

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.

As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.

Without missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."

LMAO

LAWL