mind you i wouldn't joke like this with people i didn't know well enough, but a friend of mine and i were having lunch

and for context: it came up that they were considering medical transitioning, pros/cons (my stance is you do not have to "pass" to be trans, just for the sake of clarity)

they asked me about it and what the fuck does my dumbass say?

"my balls didn't spark joy. so i marie kondo'd the fuck out of them"

i mean before i grew my own i did lose my prosthetic tits twice. once on a train. i love that story bc it's just so inherently hilarious to me to imagine and hope that whomever found them also laughs about it

a) very expensive mistake to make twice. a good set in the late 90's wasn't cheap

b) i hope whomever found them giggled and went "hehehehe. boobs" like i would have and regularly did

tl;dr i wanted to express that i think it's important to share silly shit like this because ultimately there is a lot to laugh about in spite of it all

there's a deep human element to being trans, duh, but i absolutely love the stores we tell that we laugh about, because i think it's important to normalize it

there you go, there's some thoughts for the day

I just choked on air laughing at the marie kondo comment because that's amazing but HOW DO YOU LOSE YOUR BOOBs i'm??? in tears

All I can think of when I hear about boobs on the loose is it’s along the same lines as runaway weaves. Someone lost them, they’re costly, but they’ve decided to free range.

clearly

ZiriO: okay look it was a long train ride from dublin and i took them off in the WC bc they were getting sweaty just before my stop (and also at the time even south ireland was um. not queer friendly in the 90's) and panicked when my stop was announced

my stupid self forgot them in their carrying bag

coveredinbees: prosthetic tits are now free range tits and i'm here for it

okay that makes plenty of sense actually, real ones get sweaty enough I can only imagine how swampy prosthetics might get

TPE free range tits at that. and at the time, not good quality TPE. ah the regrets i would have later in life for paying for overpriced shit that i'd learn later on weren't as good as they said they were

also the over the shoulder TPE bolder holder that was popular at the time for them was so itchy. the shit i suffered through as a baby queer

at least you've escaped that era!

granted i'm debating a reduction now bc the progesterone and estrodial went "oh you want tits??? well your intersex ass is about to get MELONS, babe" and lo, 30JJ

ZiriO: the era of TPE giggle physics to my wallet weeping for even glancing at a decent bra

oh no

ALSO CONGRATS ON SUFFERING FROM SUCCESS???

TASK FAILED SUCCESSFULLY

i feel like a certain part of peek womanhood for big tiddy punk-goth mommies like myself is they make a good shelf to put my food when i eat (because we don't eat at a table)

but in all joking aside, that's why i feel like it's important to share these stories and shit-- i want people to genuinely laugh with me and take part in the small joys i get out of my antics

not gonna lie mine have never been big enough to use as a shelf and I regret that every day

it has it's perks, but i feel like all boobs are excellent boobs

i mean mine are fantastic but not shelf-sized

but all boobs are excelelnt it's true

my gosh i cannot type today apparently

I'm just imagining you in your car or whatever like

"alright...got my keys....my wallet...what am I forgetting...dkdkje God damn it MY TITS" and then scrambling back into your home

i have actually done that. the only way i stopped forgetting my tits was growing a pair myself. thanks ADHD!

nckskbdisi I was making a joke why was I hit with the dodgeball of prophecy

can't forget to equip them when they're permanently attached!