Stop making us jealous!

I think the crap on the menu might be carp?

Did you ask?

that's some expensive crap

Google translate says yengeç is actually crab.
https://translate.google...

Either way, we're all relieved that there is no actual crap on the menu.

that makes sense, it was a seafood restaurant

Carp was a decent guess too. I guess you didn't order that.