my chemo isn't working so we have to try a different method and i am stressing out. it worked before but maybe that's why it became resistant now??? idk but knowing i have felt like garbage for nothing is upsetting

hubby has been so helpful, ive had to quit my job for the immediate future, and my son is too little to tell what's wrong but he can tell i feel bad so he only wants me

which is very cute but picking him up makes me nauseated and i am tender to touch and pain so his tiny hands HURT lol (i don't blame him of course he just want to love)

but the more i look at him and hold him the more this stresses me out. it was caught early enough where i am not going to immediately die or anything and it is treatable but im scared and tired of feeling like microwaved garbage

im just sitting and waiting for my team to discuss alternate treatments

just needed somewhere to vent because i try not to talk about it much but i know hospital and health things can be triggering for people so i try not to bring it up just hard when it becomes your life

/HUGS

debating hiatusing this month or next month but i'm going to try and do some tags today!!! i need new things though because i have absolutely not done anything that i haven't used already / isn't too old and crusty

but i start new treatment next month so i have no idea how i will be feeling so i kind of want to save for august just in case