placeholder for the moment because work meeting but watch this space

watches it

jumpscare

sits in it

also sits here

okokokok

i guess i will start with the basics of the main plot of bg3 because hysterically none of really got super into it. (to be fair bg3 itself frequently forgets its own plot)

but the basic premise is that you (players character) are kidnapped by mindflayers and you get a mindflayer tadpole put into your head

normally this is how mindflayers reproduce basically - so over the course of a horrifying week you lose your mind and turn into a mindflayer and its real gross, so in game you find out that first- you ARENT transforming, but you do run into a lot of other people also who got tadpoled and are all joining this cult of the Absolute, but for some reason

you and your companions arent mind controlled in the same way. mystery! intrigue. anyway you can either make a custom PC or play as one of the main six (mane six) companions who are gale, shadowheart, astarion, lae’zel, karlach and wyll

if youre playing for the first time i would highly recommend making a custom pc because origin runs you kinda lose out on the characters personal quest ANYWAY

gale is a wizard! you pull him out of a rock. he goes by “gale of waterdeep” when you first meet him because its a title and he’s very insistent on it because he is a really powerful wizard (he is level 1)

gale was a child prodigy- he basically says he cast his first spell at like 2 or something, and by 8 had made enough of an impression that the goddess of magic Mystra noticed and sent her chosen Elminster to basically go pick him up and start teaching him properly

so from 8 onwards he was shuttled off to various schools and apprenticeships to teach him - i think theres fairly decent evidence hes a born sorcerer but the distinction is generally that wizards ARENT born with magic

and learn it instead. its a pretty good analogy to being like a baby musical instrument genius

if you listen to his stories he was a really terrible kid honestly he was completely uncontrollable and basically could not be stopped from using magic and would never listen to a single teacher or professor he makes it p clear he was a massive trouble maker but was so obviously talented that they couldn’t do shit about it

he summoned tara (his tressym u all met her) at some point before he turned 8 and his parents said he couldn’t have a kitten and he just decided ok ill summon a kitten instead

he talks about his mom a lot (her name is Morena) and she’s still alive and clearly cares about him a lot but he doesn’t mention a dad apart from vague “my parents” comments and only when referring to when he’s really young so idk what the deal is with that

he either died or left and its not super clear but its p obviously just his mom as he gets older, and he’s left to go stay at Wizard School basically full time from 8 onwards

anyway at some point in his teen years, instead of elminster - who is Mystras like Original Chosen hes 12 centuries old and one of the most talented wizards to ever live and is always super busy - Mystra herself decides to take him as an apprentice

we dont know EXACTLY when this happened but it seems to be sometime in his teens he became Officially Chosen and he describes it like “she was first my teacher, then my mentor and then my lover” so at some point the relationship got intimate

you’ll run into weirdos who are like MYSTRA DIDNT GROOM HIM but lmao. she saw him at 8 and then was his teacher? something fucked happened here even if it started being sexual after he was 18

anyway being Chosen of a god is pretty self explanatory it means that he’s supposed to represent her and is designated as The Most Talented and he spends basically all of his time studying magic and trying to impress her - but Mystra’s chosen are also supposed to get special privileges

so basically Mystra bans all magic higher than 9th level for mortals because mortals in the past tried that shit and killed her previous incarnations or causes huge potentially world ending problems - which still happens mind you but its technically not allowed

but Chosen are supposed to be able to get like special spells only available to them, but Gale as he got older started getting OBSESSED with this idea of practicing magic beyond what’s allowed for mortals

at this point in time he’s an archmage which is like in theory he’s at least level 18 in mechanical terms and possibly higher

he starts spending all his time like dreaming of doing this spells and researching and begging mystra to allow him to practice this stuff or be allowed special privileges and every time she’s like no absolutely not

this is probably pretty fucking annoying! let no one claim gale isnt fucking annoying. but he’s basically so entrenched in this wizard rat race thing where hes like i could absolutely be the greatest wizard of all time but only if im allowed past this boundary for mortals

and she eventually starts getting bored of him and pulling away, and he gets more and more desperate to prove himself

going to take a brief segue to talk about Karsus here since he also mirrors his story with Karsus when he tells it and i think its important

so karsus was a wizard from over a thousand years ago when mortals could basically do whatever they wanted magic level wise. there were absolutely no limits, and the goddess of magic was Mystryl, a previous incarnation of Mystra

he was born a human child prodigy and grew up to rule Netheril, which was an empire that used to exist and eventually got bored of the magic that mortals could do

(familiar.......)

he decided that he would usurp the goddess of magic and take her place instead and raise himself to godhood, but he fucked up - his spell basically shattered The Weave which is the basis of all magic and killed Mystryl, destroyed magic and killed him and also was apocalyptic for Netheril

its this really famous event called Karsus’ Folly, and hes like simultaneously known as a horrible bad guy who ruined everything ....... and also the greatest wizard that ever existed

netherese magic is extremely powerful and rare and really sought after but its also most definitely forbidden by mystra who is like Not going to deal with a repeat event of this karsus bitch

but back to gale, who is like. feeling his goddess girlfriend get bored and done with him and he’s like i know what i can do to impress her, which is restore a part of the weave that was lost when karsus attempted his spell and this will PROVE MY LOVE and also conveniently prove how fucking good and cool at magic i am

real iranian yogurt guy vibes to this for me where it’s like. bud. there is clearly more going through your head but ok.

IRANIAN YOGURT HELP

IM BACK

anyway he fucked up real bad, and he does end up finding what he thinks is this piece of lost weave in an old netherese book

but it turns out oopsie it is not

THE MYSTERIOUS THING attacks him and absorbs all of his magic and gives him the orb mark on his chest - if he was a less powerful wizard it would have killed him outright and he says he's really lucky that he survived

like it looks like a round tattoo but the fact he describes it as a "orb" kinda implies its like. sitting in his chest all balled up, and it causes him a lot of pain and is basically turning all his blood to necromancy goo and it nerfs him entirely

he spends like a full year locked in his tower and doesn't communicate with like. anyone. mystra won't answer him at all and cuts him off entirely and is extremely pissed at him, and he's just like depressed and basically dying

eventually he and tara (who is like. human level intelligent by the way. she's wizard levels of smart and can cast spells.) figure out that he can "feed" the orb magic items and it absorbs the weave out of them and he feels better, but he also figures out if the orb finishes eating all of HIS magic and he dies or it otherwise destablizes

it'll go off like a nuclear bomb and basically level waterdeep

which is not a small city

he looks for a cure for a long time with like no help from anyone, no one really checks in and he doesn't reach out to anyone either, and mystra refuses to help him at all and eventually he decides to just up and leave

he claims to the PC that its to find help but idk. i feel like he had just kind of accepted he couldn't fix it and was going to die. and even had a plan for it and was heading off to the underdark to go explode on his own without hurting anyone - BUT then he gets kidnapped by mindflayers so

there ya go

so this is basically where the game starts is right after you're all booted off the mindflayer ship with your brand new tadpoles

this is the backstory you get in act 1, and his quest picks up in act 2, where you've almost at the Absolute cult's headquarters ......... and then Elminster shows up looking for gale

and he rolls up into your camp and is like MY BOY mystra has a message for you

and the message is KYS

mystra basically commands him (through elminster) that once he sees what the absolute is and he gets to where they're weakest, he can earn her forgiveness by intentionally blowing himself up and killing the cult

so up until this point gale has to like. eat magic items every few days to keep the orb stable.

note: asking video game players to give up magic items is apparently like asking them to pull out their own teeth with pliers

but this is the point in the game elminster has a blessing from mystra that stops the orb from hurting so bad and eating magic items, and he also like. actually does do his best to suggest to gale that he SHOULDN'T do this because it's actually a very bad idea and also like

extremely cruel? its fucked up

god not the eating magical items

anyway sits here

also like. okay you could have fixed it all along bitch???

SHE REALLY COULD HAVE SHE CAN ALSO REMOVE IT and is like

lol suffer

look on one hand i get it in the sense that he fucked around and found out, on the other. henious way to treat someone who loves you and made a mistake that he didn’t intend and youve been constantly keeping in an isolated little wizard cage for 27 years

but gale most definitely sees himself as the bad guy in the scenario - i think people get hung up sometimes oh the phrasing he uses which is “crossed her boundaries” but ignore the context which is that she’s an immortal god and also specifically denied him a lot of benefits of being chosen for ???? reasons

sits here as well