I’m sober

I’m at work

But there’s this one whiskey that I REALLY like

It’s expensive but like I think it’s worth it

As a rare treat

Midsummer Night’s Dram

There haven’t been any bottles of it available for years though

But I just recently heard we might be getting a few bottles

So I was all “SAVE ONE FOR ME”

Then we didn’t get any and I was all “nooooooo”

But then the Liquor manager, who is a friend, was like “hey Eric”

“They have a bottle down in Puyallup”

“And my boyfriend is working in that area”

“If you pay me the total I’ll tell him to pick it up and pay him back”

(Because Puyallup is obnoxiously far from Seattle if you don’t have a car)

So I gave her money so she could deal with that over the weekend

And then her boyfriend spent the weekend drinking with other people and was too drunk to think it was worth his time to get my bottle despite having already said he would do it

So he comes home empty handed

So I got my money back and we’re BOTH annoyed at him

And THEN the liquor manager drops back in with me to be like “btw that bottle was from LAST year’s order so there still MIGHT be a few bottles for us this year!!!”

And guys

I don’t know if my heart can take this

It has been an emotional roller coaster

Of being unsure if I’m gonna get my damn whiskey

And feel like a Venetian merchant prince waiting for news or a trade ship I sent off to distant lands

It will either bankrupt me and bring dishonor to my house, or come back with a hold brimming with exotic spices and I will grow unfathomably rich

and thats a feeling you cant bottle and sell

May your vessel have fair winds and relatively few pirates.

Unfortunately I think the main pirate was the guy we sent to pick the bottle up

Asshole