I need to stop opening the AP site, it's a shot of increasing anxiety every time

but i swear to fuck if misogyny and the like fucks us over again...

yeah i instantly regretted the decision to look

pour one out for people who are too neurodivergent to like be able to successfully be able to ignore something that is at the back of our minds

earlier today I reminded myself that at least this time around I don't have a girlfriend whose response to my increasing election anxiety was "well, I'm sure it won't be that bad" -.-

I regret my choices lol

gosh I so wish I could have just ignored it until tomorrow. but I kinda knew there was no way I'd be able to resist all night

I was determined to resist at least til midnight but I peeked early and that's two extra hours of panic I didn't need

yep yep every time I look it's like why did I do that to myself

sigh

ok but what if I panic my way entirely out of this timeline

that could work right

I am proud of myself for not turning on a news stream and having that shit on for a few hours. at least I've kept it to just a handful of looks at news over the last couple hours

but ugh I hate it

I don't know if it's good or bad that the past 4ish weeks have been so stressful that I'm not sure I have the energy to panic tomorrow if the worst happens

not gonna let myself think about it or I won't be able to sleep tonight

and work is entirely too busy for me to not sleep

looking at the news was entirely the worst thing I've done all day

took one last anxiety peek at the news, sigh, now throwing myself to bed because staying up won't do anything good. I just hate all of this

I was really hoping this time around it would be a bigger shift toward sanity but. I'm just gonna keep hoping for the best at this point because it's all that can be done