it's really unfair when both sleep and a shower don't get rid of bad brain

but whatever.
work won't do itself and not being able to catch up because of the stupid volume the past few weeks is contributing to this problem

maybe this evening I'll feel more like a person fit to interact with others

or the bad vibes will continue /shrug

this isn't really helping the existential 'why bother' but I felt the need for proof of existence before I throw myself at work for the next 9ish hours

survived work. feeling mostly okay and hoping that won't change. maybe if I can force myself to write and tag literally anything at some point in the next 24 hours it will keep some unhelpful thoughts at bay

idk. yesterday was relatively fine until the blahs suddenly hit full force last night and it was all downhill from there

but this has been kind of a weird week. squirrelly stomach, random nausea, nightmares (which are pretty rare for me) so idk. maybe it's all my body just being like "hey can you dial down the stress in some way thx"

***

eh let's just reuse this instead of making a new whining depressed plurk

not that I have much to say other than I'm tired of feeling like this and tired of mood drops that seemingly hit at random

tired of the blahs and feeling disconnected and ugh actually tearing up from time to time. idk if the stress this year pushed me to a new point or what but strong dislike lol

I'm sure there's other stuff I originally came here to whine about but my focus is quasi-shot too. which is also annoying

blah. some day I'll actually have something to offer again (if I ever did) and finally get back to RP. dreadfully late but idk if it matters