every vTech item we own was a gift from someone who possibly hates us

but have you tried the fisher-price linkimals?

I got my niblings a few because the linked cacophony is very funny

I accidentally set off the entire display at the store and went "yes I'm bringing this mess home"

that said, it is the v-tech stuff my brother and sister-in-law gathered up and said "this lives at the grandparents' houses now"

of course you did

I feel like vTech could run a campaign of "Has a relative wronged you? Do they have children? HAVE WE GOT THE GIFT FOR YOU!"

Airdra: grandparents who buy vTech get it to live at THEIR house

I also feel like with my brother's friend group there's a sense of "haha now it's your turn to experience this suffering" when they buy each other baby gifts

Someone has their first kid? Congrats, here's The Worst Toy that your child will love

it's the cube

of course I'm like the LAST to have a baby so I don't get to be helpful and buy people the farthog

Lmaooooo it's so true

There's a late night show clip of Ellie Kemper singing the song from one of these hell toys and I lost my shit

It might be the cube, my kids loved that thing and I wanted to die

The one vtech toy we have that doesn’t make me want to throw it out the window (and we only have this one and the little cars) is the phone. It’s annoying but it’s a life saver 10/10 recommend

But I will say that the road tracks for the little cars are really great as a big puzzle for kids that love puzzles. Ours will sit for ages and just stick all the pieces together

Sadly they’ve figured out how to turn the cars on now

The Cube. Fun is mandatory.

we've gotten good mileage out of the turned off cube having interesting stuff to manipulate

but it lives at Grammy's

We had a ... remote control, maybe? It was themed after Scout the dog, which we also had, and that thing has a song that I will never EVER stop having as an earworm.

~circle, triangle, heart star square~

We have a steering wheel and it's just a constant state of "Buck-le up puppy's ready to ride, start the car, he we goooooo"

Purple monkey in a bubblegum tree it is NOT

lol you are NOT wrong

F-P wins the kiddy jingle game. We currently have a singing garbage truck in our home, and Reduce, Re-Use Recycle is now the parent-sung anthem fir garbage night

nice

we have the famed piano

and also the game controller, but that doesn't have songs it just makes noises

before the kids were old enough to know what batteries were we just played dumb when the Cube stopped working, like oh no mommy doesn't know why it won't make sounds anymore!

sorry baby maybe it'll work again after we've had a week or two of sanity!

lol