"Mormons believe in Mormon Bigfoot" hits the exact same cadence as U Can't Touch Mormon Jesus

I mean, Mormons will believe any wacky shit, this tracks perfectly

...honestly, considering some of the other things I've heard about Mormonism, this is tame.

/coughalienJesuscough

least insane mormon belief, taken from a religion that believes in indigenous white people in north america

or that known multiple-time conman Joseph Smith, heir to an entire family of conmen, could be a serious and reliable prophet

"no trust me I got all this from an angel named Moron on tablets only I can see because god made me his special little boy"

Yeah, I watched a deep dive into Mormonism, and...yeah, this is tame.

I don't think 'Cain is immortal and wandering the earth' is even that unusual, as far as Abrahamic beliefs go? It's the hypertichosis that's an odd addition.

"I can excuse murder but I draw the line at full frontal nudity"

yeah

Wasn't clothing invented by Adam and Eve, anyway? Why wouldn't Cain wear clothes?

I'm not sure whether I'm remembering this correctly or not, so grain of salt: Wasn't Cain cursed to wander the earth forever, never able to interact with his beloved plantlife again? That... kinda goes against the whole bigfoot thing since... y'know, forests.

(Specifically I think he was given the absolute worst possible version of a black thumb, where his presence is enough to make plants die)

(All because Yahweh wanted a steak more than a salad that day...)

though I guess it'd be lamb chops, considering what was used for livestock in the supposed area at the supposed time.

no you're correct

as a naoya player i have read genesis 4 so many fucking times

Oh good. I try to keep things straight, so I have good ammunition for arguments with Certain People (considering I live in Alabama...) so it's good to know I haven't gotten that one twisted at least.

i have played this man for 15 solid years i have read cain analysis i would have never imagined