Shores Revised Chapter 4 in the bag. I didn’t need to change much, but I tightened it up a little and made it clearer that some of the dialog was, shall we say, horny for a purpose.
I also defined some terms I previously left uncommented on; I suspect that a lot of my readers know what a “tank” is in reference to an MMO, but for those just here to see someone enjoy being female and kissing, I had Deedee explain it in what I hope was a naturalistic way.
How do you make exposition interesting? By making sure that the characters it’s being conveyed to VERY BADLY NEED that information.
do love to see people explain things in ways that make sense in-universe
“Zerkers protect themselves by killing trash monsters before they can hit you. That won’t help Sekh if they’re already hitting her.”
- explaining to Ace why she’s not an acceptable alternative tank
- explaining to Ace why she’s not an acceptable alternative tank