my morning brain skipped over "the only person who ever understood you" so I got excited over the idea of trying to see what they saw and feel what they felt to try to create connection and try to find understanding with a person who is already dead so you will never be able to just talk to them and ask them what they were thinking
But Technically you could have both. maybe this person seemed to be able to look into your heart and know all your needs and mechanisms and yet you never learned what was in theirs.