DarkWolven
says
okay im out on a limb here and wanting outside opinion kim has a well she calls her "a friend" i admit completely i cant stand her
DarkWolven
says
she cant stand me but back to subject that only calls her when she is wanting something out of kim this time being for kim to
DarkWolven
says
move near her im against this altogether and kim is aas far as i know to but my question being am i being over posesive/protective on this
Yes.
never get between a woman and her friends. Kim has plenty of sense - she'll work it out.
but I get VERY resentful of men who butt in on my friendships and I've been known to dump men for less. Kims obviously not thinking of
moving off or anything, and its okay, you don't have to get along with all of her friends, just as long as you respect her right to choose
its understandable that you want to be protective
DarkWolven
says
well atleast it is understandable and yes kim has a lot of sense but not so much when it comes to this girl
a little clarification: she's my crazy best friend in Michigan, we've been friends since 8th grade. I don't wanna move to Michigan, but I
wouldn't mind if she lived closer.
DarkWolven
says
i would
like I said, men try to come between me and my friends, they're out the door
I'm also not known for my brilliant decisions with her. (She's the one who I ran off to Vegas with.)
but youth is full of non-brilliant decisions
and she is the dominant personality in the friendship. Overbearing, even, would be a good word.
DarkWolven
says
if it had been kims decision i would agree with that
gawd I ran off to santa fe with two gay guys, an alaskan husky in a 1955 pick up truck
I'm not saying she's perfect, by any means. But I do care about her and want the best for her.
but Kim, you are developing a LOT more independence of thought and more assertiveness these days
he is of the opinion that she takes advantage of my good nature. (And not when it comes to her, I defer 90% of the time.)
DarkWolven
says
ya that isn't what i question it's what she want's you for is my problem
i think you are more responsible than to do something nuts
well, I gotta be, with kids and all.
right
and she really just wants a friend, she doesn't really know many people up there, and isn't close with any of them.
I have a long history of being the dominant friend, talking my friends into crazy shit. I mean well, really I do.
DarkWolven
says
there is a reason for that dear
I could be completely wrong about her, I admit. But I don't want to give up on her or abandon her, is all.
DarkWolven
says
i want to clear it up i could care less if kim is friends with her i would just like to see kim present some of her independence with her
maybe you are wrong, but its your lesson to learn, not his. And at this stage in your life, I just don't see her influence being detrimental
DarkWolven
says
and DW, maybe kim will show more independence with her.
and maybe the friend in question has learned a lesson too. I mean I learned a few hard lessons from dominating my friends
DarkWolven
says
i can hope so che i realy have given the friend every chance in the world and even atempted to be friends with her for kims sake
I admit, I really don't. I do avoid confrontations in general, and especially with her. It's not worth it to me to butt heads with her.
she knows I'm not gonna move, it's became a running joke between us.
besides, trying to knock something into her thick skull is damn near impossible. (She's a Pisces, btw.)
DarkWolven
says
on your side yes when she started pestering me on it the joke became unjoking thats why i refuse to offer her help anymore
oh well pisces. gawd. DWmight be right - those fuckers annoy the shit out of me XD
its also easy for cancer/pisces to get tangled up with one another
that's because she can't stand you. It doesn't matter to her whether you come or not, just me, I'm afraid. (And of course the girls.)
DarkWolven
says
i can deal with the pisces part its just the refusing to help herself i cant stand and also using kim as a scape goat is my real problem
she really doesn't help herself much. And she does vent to me alot. I guess I just prefer to stand my ground quietly and let her fuss on
about it.
i think we come to the heart of it, though. it's a power struggle between her and him, unconsciously perhaps...
DarkWolven
says
venting is one thing expecting you to drop everything is another hun
and i had to about che dumping men for less. 
about che dumping men for less.
"you don't like my underwear? you're OUTTA HERE!"
she "jokes" about wanting you to choose her over him, and he feels understandably protective of that. it still comes down to you having
and yeah, I admit, they fuss over me all the time. I rarely get to be the center of all this stuff!
the sense, but you can see where that's a thing.
DarkWolven
says
i understand that totaly hun on the dumping part if it was a power struggle hehe well there aint going to be one
I know, but the only way out is to tell her to piss off. Which I don't want to do.
not in any real sense, no. which you know, which is why yours comes out as concern for kim. but it's still the dynamic, in a way.
DarkWolven
says
want to or unable to?
you KNOW she has enough sense not to move to michigan, and especially not to dump you and take the girls to do it.
I don't want to. For better or worse, she is my friend. I don't want all the fighting and such either though.
ergo, therefore, and , it may bug you but it's not up to you to force her to be proactive about the relationship w/ crazy girl.
, it may bug you but it's not up to you to force her to be proactive about the relationship w/ crazy girl.
thats why DW needs to back off.
he needs to realize you aren't going anywhere and he's just causing you shit by stirring this shit up
DarkWolven
says
yes i know that isn't in question my problem is i want kim to realise that she sees the friend as a friend but
DarkWolven
says
the friend uses her as a plaything
michipisces wants drama, and she's getting it.
but if kim needs to realize it,then KIM needs to realize, not DW. Its Kim's stuff, not yours.
she doesn't really see much of the drama, I keep quiet about it most of the time.
DarkWolven
says
lol not yet but shes going to get something lol and che im not stirring it i wouldnt be looking for opinnions if i was
and I understand what he means about the plaything. And in the past, it caused buku trouble. But now, hundreds of miles away, not much comes
from it.
besides my online pals (that's ya'll) I don't have a lot of real life friends. Why would I ditch one who's been there forever?
well but the past is past, the young get into all kinds of shit, but its stuff you AREN't gonna do anymore.
DarkWolven
says
hun im sure even che would agree on this friends give as well as take from eachother meaning emotionally and spiritually
well Idon't agree with the not ditching. I'll ditch anyone if they're seriously sucking at my soul however
DarkWolven
says
this one dosent give a damn bout you never has never will and i was just looking to vent about it was all
she may not see the drama, but she wants you to think about her, and you are.
it is in the end up to you and you have your reasons for wanting her in your life and for now that should be good enough for the man-pie
....
m...mmm... MAN-PIE! 
@ man-pie!
DarkWolven
says
lol thanks che ill add that one to the list of references i have been called lol
Che Rex
says
awww... man-pie, you know you love it
doesn't expect her to be all that emotionally/spiritually supportive, when she hasn't even reached that much within herself.
DarkWolven
says
and yes i agree it is her decision to keep her in her life im just watching out for my closest friend here
see, i understand the urge to speak up. i don't see it as quite as controlling as che does. BUT... if you're asking for opinions...
she can't give what she doesn't have, you know?
trust YOUR best friend and let her deal in her way, after voicing your concerns. which you have done. there's no self-destructive
behavior here, not in that sense.
DarkWolven
says
i am and i am listening i understand where che is coming from on this i have left because of less as well
the being left thing is ridiculous, ya'll know that. 
But just as I wouldn't leave you for this, why would I leave her?
But just as I wouldn't leave you for this, why would I leave her?
DarkWolven
says
hmm are you sure you want me to go there?
Che Rex
says
hey, i believe in culling the ass-hat influences in one's life. But I mean, Kim couldn't defriend EH without a cheering squad.
and spies!
and I don't even know him.
DarkWolven
says
true enough
Let her get where she needs to go on her own.
Kim's good people, we got her back.
trust me, if she pulls a major asshattery attempt again, I'd do it. But she hasn't.
DarkWolven
says
yet or atleast recently
well, maybe she's mellowed some. Happens to the best of us.
at the moment, she's in the mild to moderate annoying category. No biggie, in my book anyway.
DarkWolven
says
i dont know i have to degrees of friends family and people i know thats it
being in a lot of shitty relationships has really torn away at a lot of her self-confidence and brashness over the years.
it's really sad, actually.
DarkWolven
says
she put herself in each of those and drug you into the middle of most of them
but she did need to be knocked down a peg or three.
soooo... there's really no problem here. dw wants you to know she's a mooch, and you do, and now you've said so. 
DarkWolven
says
nah she just needed to get off her ass and do something for herself
people don't grow up on our schedule for them. besides, there's sometimes something self-righteous about being there really selflessly
I know she is, but everyone's got problems, right?
DarkWolven
says
lol ya but knowing and dealing with her as such are to different things steff
for someone you know isn't able to return the favor.
it's karma building.
DarkWolven
says
mooch is also being nice about it
and with THAT distinction, you're forcing the issue unnecessarily. she knows. you know she isn't going to hare off. so that's where it is.
will have to think over that one Steff. Never heard it put that way.
DarkWolven
says
trust me kim has karma coming out her ears lol
it makes us feel like we're better than them. maybe that's just me.
maybe that's just me.
well, honestly, it's a given. I just wish I could do more to help, not back off. But I'm a helper, which is one of my faults.
trying to fix all the unfixable things.
yes, i just think people who help are going straight to hell. (eyeyroll)
DarkWolven
says
not a fault hun more an adiction
such a fault.
oh? you have no addictions?
my version of helping usually causes more trouble!
it's like a bad sitcom.
heh. sounds fun.
DarkWolven
says
lol i admit my adictions and where they get me ive also learnt to leave the destructive ones in the past where they belong
*nods* which is why I don't want to move up there. I'm leaving her there to take care of herself, but she still has my ear to vent and
whine and bitch at.
see, now you're just being holier-than-kim. you seem to want her to deal with this as YOU would, and that's just unlikely. ever.
you seem to want her to deal with this as YOU would, and that's just unlikely. ever.
you're different people. thankfully.
I'm not going to overextend myself for her, but what harm is it to have her call a few times a week.
DarkWolven
says
lol yes we are and know i am not wanting her to deal with this as i would lol that would be entirely to messy
suspects axes would be involved.
granted. but do no pretend you don't know what i mean. 
DarkWolven
says
possibly a lot of yelling but not axes i would have to bury the body then
DarkWolven
says
yes steff i know what you mean
you would confront and cut ties (with or without axes), and she's being more queen of cups about it. but it's not costing her much. *shrug*
bury? bah. feed it to the pigs.
don't worry peeps, we go round like this about her a few times a year.
DarkWolven
says
pigs: nature's alibi.
T-SHIRT!
DarkWolven
says
i supose we do and in actuallity like i said erlier i have offerd the pisces help before but she wont accept it from me
isn't worried. but when you ask for my opinion, you're gonna get it.
DarkWolven
says
thank god for that
noen of us are shy, that's for sure.
it's just a continuous thing, and I'm stucked. Love my man, love my best friend. Nothing for me to do, no matter what either of them think.
Kim_of_Cups
is
sorry, but that's how it seems to me.
you ARE taking a stand; it's just that neither of them much like the stand you're taking.
wich is what i enjoy the fact that none are shy here and kim she is not a best friend that one i wont back down on
she's what I have for one. *shrug*
ok, so, besides the pigs tee, i need to make a "kim's bestie" one for dw so he'll fell better. 
and a MAN-PIE one!
he knows he's better than a best friend. Other half, beloved, etc etc.
man-pie ill take bestie i could care less about wouldn't make a difference to me i know where i stand in kims life i always have
'best female friend' just takes too long to type. Sheesh.
lol i could accept that if it was steff,che,michelle or even jolene but not her
well, plurkies are a cut above, you know that.
stefficus
will
have to think about the graphic for man-pie. heh.
graphic?
I've been wondering about the graphic myself.
but you know why Joleene is so distant now.
can't pick someone else's friends. *shrug*
maybe if i ro che were needier, we'd be the bestie.
no hun you have distanced yourself from her not her from you just give her a holler some time hell i even do once in awhile
could not choose among plurkers, sorry.
would need a shirt with my friends list on it!
lol i just need a stickie
anyhoo, I did so, because I'm still guilty. Can't talk to her with a straight face.
no reason to be guilty she knows and dosent give a fuck
but she's never said anything. And I haven't. So I don't know what to do or say to her.
hi how are you doing or "hows book sales going"
but I every time I talk to her, I want to babble on about the whole ordeal, which is impossible no matter whether she knows or not.
why if nothing else get it one and over with
then again we do things differently
we're just gonna let you two argue now.
Kim_of_Cups
is
surprised you didn't before.
and I wish I knew hun. It just feels impossible.
lol jump in anytime we could use outside opinnions here
that's pretty much all i got, having no earthly idea what you two are on about.
lol its okay steff this one kim has to work out for herself ive tried and clean the path for her but she needs to walk it
*sigh* I've done everything but actually admitted it to her.
you fed her baby to dingoes, didn't you?
something something yeah.
well... better'n pigs, i suppose.
and I knew better, and the whole thing was ridiculous, and I never ever wanted to hurt her. Or the dingo baby.
while kim has fault in this another has more or atleast that is my opinnion on this kim has paid dues twice over and just needs to get on
with it
if ya'll wanna hear the whole story, I can tell ya. It's just us plurkies here anyway.
DW's plurks are as good as private.
very true dear
actually hun it might do you some good to tell it and let it out of the bag
okay. Jo was my other best friend in high school. She always wanted us to move down to Missouri, so one time, we took her up on the offer.
she and her hubby let us stay down there, while we were looking for jobs and our own place.
one night, hubby was giving me a ride, and basically said that since he was letting us stay there, that I was obligated to him.
so...we ended up having sex, a number of times. We eventually moved back to Iowa when it became apparent that we wouldn't find jobs anytime
soon.
but I never told her, and if she knows, she never brought it up to me. And I feel like dogshit about it.
I know the majority of it was his fault, but it takes two, and I never wanted to hurt her. She's one of the nicest people I know.
and I was never actually attracted to him, so it wasn't like I wanted to at all.
me and DW hashed this out between us, but since I haven't hashed it out with her, I don't know what to do.
and of course, I never want to see her hubby again, so we could never hang out.
i wanta see him again i got a few items on my list to hash out with him
well yeah, but it's probably best that you keep your distance from him.
for me oe him?
yes and yes.
ill come up with the money for bail hell my family would post it hun
yeah yeah.
actually i could just phone dale and see if he knows anyone in their area?
as fun as that would be, it still wouldn't help me.
nah it wouldnt and wouldnt do anything for my standing as well neither would nocking his ass out wich i should have done the first
time it happend punk bitch anyhow
but any way hun i have already proven she knows what happend to bad i cant access my myspace no more it was in my blog on there
any ways dear mistakes were made learn and grow from emm is all we can do out of whos involved in that you are the only one whos botherd
but I should feel awful about it. It was an awful thing for me to do.
yes hun and it is over with we all do awful things at times lord knows i have but the trick is not to let them control you or cause you
to lose friends over them if you realy need to hash it out and let her decide wether your friendship is worth it or not
Sounds like the hubby in that situation was a manipulative, coercive cocksucking son of a bitch who needs an ass kicking
yep.
you hit it che wife wouldnt bend to what he wanted so pressured friend into it
now that i have acomplished exactly what i didnt mean to once again damn i hate this time of year
'tis okay hun. It's my problem.
no hun part of being as close as we are is helping each other out i just am not good at it
there's nothing for you to do or me either. You said she closed the door to the past, and I don't want to dredge up old shit she's already
dealt with.
yes she has but you havent and it dont help when my dumb ass trys helping with it
you're doing the best you can, in your own way. It's all me, not being able to deal with this one.
well it comes down to we both push eachother to deal with our probs but i dont know wich direction to push in
me either.
I am off plurk for a weekend and Oprah takes over!
Che Rex
asks
don't you mean OPPRA?
of course I meant OPPRA! Silly me.
ya'll should be glad we only pulled out the Oprah/OPPRA stories, instead of the Springer ones.
I appreciate your restraint!
oh, what the heck is OPPRA anyway? I think I missed that plurk.
lol trust me even i have since to leave the dirtiest laundry alone
OPPRA is the new name for the department I'm leaving, Office of Planning, some other P that I forget now, Research and Assessment
I said it was stupid to name it OPPRA and hoped Ms. Winfrey didn't sue
okay, got it!
lol she probaly would just want her cut of yearly returns
But wait! there's more!
BB Caniac in his new name informed that Oprah was spelled Oprah. Che then called him a pedantic git
ohhh?
Che can recognize pedantic gits no matter what they call themselves
I, of course, knew Oprah was spelled Oprah.