why is it that I always seem to be alone

that no one seems to care that I try

I haven't been here in so long

I play so little on the net

I study as hard as I can

but it's never enough

I can never be who everyone else wants me to be

I want to get the min expectations my mom set

I want to get the straight A's that Uncle told me I should try for

and I try

It's not like I'm sitting around like a vegetable

sometimes I wish I would just turn off

turn out the lights

slit a throat

throw myself off the balcony

it would be so easy

to just give up

no one's ever there for me

everyone

himself

the world

goodbye