Twitter just got 15 Million $$

It's a hot summer, and the Vatican City plaza is full of people packed in like sardines. Up above them, a Cardinal walks out

on the patio of the Pope's room to address the crying throng below.

"The pope .. he is-a sick. It is-a his heart." The crowd screams out "No! No! Not our beloved Pope!"

The Cardinal opens his arms to the crowd, and a silence falls ...

"The Papa, he has had-a vision from God. In his vision, he has seen that from amongst you all, shall come his salvation!"

The crowd goes NUTS! "Yes! Yes! What can we do?! What can we do!?"

The Cardinal shows the crowd a satin pillow. "This is His pillow, and inside there is a feather." He pauses...

"I will take-a this-a feather, and it will be G-d who will chose who here will a-give-a his or her heart to the Papa!" The crowd cheers!

"On whomever this-a feather lands, that person will go straight to heaven and be with G-d almighty and His son."

Then .. the Cardinal lets go of the feather...

And it wafts

And weaves

and floats in the sky.

And if you could have seen the looks on the faces of the faithful, you would have seen the same expression repeated ten thousand times.

.... People blowing and puffing and huffing up into the air for all they are worth.

votes frankmartin's joke as the funnier of the two

"What do you call a sick bird-of-prey?

... an ill-eagle"

A guy touring a small Eastern European country notices that everyone he sees is wearing running shoes, with the logo TGIF.

He asks his guide about this: Is it a new, hot brand? Should he pick up several dozen to take back home with him?

The guide looks at him and says, "Oh, no, sir. That's not a brand name. It's instructions."

The tourist looks confused. "Instructons?"

The guide looks at him and says, very earnestly, "Yes Sir. It means Toes Go In First."

what did zero say to eight?

nice belt