and the verdict - she moved out. HAH.

well not hah. but

im really really disappointed.

me too

should the rest of us know what this is about?

that's unfortunate. hope everything calms down for you <3

haha yeahhhhh

issues with mom

there was like 2-3 weeks where she'd call me telling me how much of a shithead her hubby was. and he'd call me telling me how much she was

fucking up

(both were right).

so im like "mom, get your shit, you're living here for a bit"

while kina's gone. after that *boot*

and kina was cool with it

so mind you - here's the situation: mom doesn't work and her unemployment ran out. he doesn't work but is still getting a check. both live

with his parents. so two adults in their late 40s are sitting around all day with hubby's parents.

fucked up, amirite?

this has been going on for 2-3 years now

and has been an ongoing pattern for mom

hubby from what i understand lived with his parents until he married mom like 6-7 years ago and finally got his first job then doing apt

maintenance

but some weird shit happened with management and their boss ended up being some teenager who would lock the office midday and turn it into

some pot hotbox and then hired all their friends to replace the current guys = hubby laid off

that's the story i was told anyway

anywho, so yeah - there's a whole history of old fuckers being lazy as hell in all of this - because im 99% certain they're not trying

that hard with their job searching.

so mom moves in for that weekend then moves back over there after she gets the whole "im sorry, i'll change" speech from him

then comes back the weekend after like "he's full of shit"

and "officially" moves in

she spent like 3-4 days that week hanging out at some bar and stealing her husbands truck

"can i borrow the truck to run some errands" "sure..." "*goes to bar and doesnt come back*" "where's my truck?" "COME GET IT, IM DRUNK"

(paraphrased)

i was talking to mom about that crap and im like "wtf dude...that's not even cool."

her response wasn't anything most sane people would say...

"this is a common property state. that's as much my truck as it's his"

and im like "no, ethically - it's a cunt move"

but anywho. so that was a stressful week but she kept saying she needed time to relax and get her head clear. fine. i gave her a week

so we start writing notes about random shit like groceries and dinner because i was on a weird schedule and never seeing her

and saturday (1 week mark of officially being there) i leave a note basically saying "i need a list of your goals, your path to those goals,

and a timeframe for taking each of those paths by sunday evening"

mind you - i already knew the answer to most of this, i key thing i wanted was dates and those "paths" because there were so many iterations

of "ok, so why arent you looking for a job now?"

"well i need a resume"

"well why haven't you gotten with me about making one"

"well i had all my shit together but you never called me to help with me with"

"wtf...you always call me. "

"i figured you were busy"

and so on

so i wanted a list with checkpoints where i could be there for certain for the steps i was responsible for facilitating and to make sure she

was staying on track

so she ignores it. monday im heading to work and i still see no list.

so i text her "i need that list this evening that i wrote about in the note"

dude even when you were out of the country she called like every day lol

i get this reply back that was pretty much like "how dare my son give me ORDERS"

and im like *facepalm*. she missed the point completely. like always.

and yeah sarah- she knows how reach me.

and here's my thing - this wasn't some free ride. i told her flat out if she wanted to stay here she had to continually progress her life.

think of it as rehab.

so im like "im not making you stay here. if you dont like it you can move out by friday."

cause really...i refuse to enable her bullshit. im not letting her drive a wedge between my OWN family with her bullshit

cause she'd keep asking me for money even after savannah was born and it just got to a point where kina started getting pissed like "wtf

woman, when are you going to get your shit together"

anywho. instead of taking 5 minutes out of her day to let me know what her battle plan was - she moved out.

oh and during that whole feud she was going on about "i cooked and bought groceries and cleaned" etc etc. and im like "i dont need food,

i dont need a chef, i dont need a maid. i need a mom who can support herself and quit leeching off her fucking family. i need one who's

actually going to fucking worry about retirement and her future - because i sure as fuck am not supporting you after you've had 40 years

to get your shit together.

she has an amazing supportive family, but she shits on us all. especially the males. it's grandpa's fault she's in a failed marriage, it's

dad's fault she's scared to talk or something, it's my fault she couldnt get on her feet or get her resume made, etc etc

when we've done nothing but try to get her to do wtf she needed to do.

ANOTHER thing mom does is loves to see the world against her

there was an instance when she was trying to talk to me while i was either talking with kina online mid-convo or playing sc2 or something

so i let her know "to be honest i cant really pay attention to you right now"

she twisted that in another few conversations when i had asked her later verbally "what ARE your goals and dreams? "i dont really feel like

talking about it right now?" "wtf, and you complain about no one wanting to listen to you?"

"well you dont even pay attention to what im saying anyway"

"wtf?" "that's what you said" "oh that's BULLSHIT and you fucking know it. that is NOT what was fucking said"

she also says grandpa only likes her when she's with a guy. so i asked him "wtf's that about"

"bradley...you know as well as i do mom can't get her shit together...when she's with someone she's their problem to worry about, not ours"

and i talked to dad about it... we couldn't disagree. she's less of a burden on everyone when there's a guy in her life to essentially feed

her money and to make sure their bills are paid.

it's just how she fucking is. irresponsible goddamned leech who refuses to take care of herslef.

anywho....im done with her. mom or not she proved to me what her priorities were. she doesnt want to take care of herself and i absolutely

do not want that "role model" in savannah's life.

i mean...i basically would have done a lot of the hard work for her to get on her feet. resume, job searches, school applications, etc,

just to see her up and running again. but she...just couldnt fucking do it. my mind cant even understand it.

kina's mom was asking "how does she live that way? it's like he has no dignity at all"

ANYWHO. /endrant.

that was my august.

september is now full speed ahead with oxide solutions. office is done, sign is up.now to be a millionaire.

Brad I'm sorry you got stuck in this mess I can totally understand what you mean about no dignity and lack of motivation etc.

it was the same with my mom when she was drinking. except she still lived with my dad and he was the one that had to deal with her.

luckily he made enough money that there was never that financial aspect to it. I just can't fathom what would be going through someone's

luckily he made enough money that there was never that financial aspect to it. I just can't fathom what would be going through someone's

Sorry phone fuck up lol. What would be going through someone's head to ask their kid for money when they JUST had a baby, have a mortgage, a

New business... And on a single income. Seriously. I feel bad asking my dad for money when I'm flat broke and I know he can afford it

It's so painful to see someone hit bottom...and be completely unwilling to accept the REAL help being offered

Instead everything gets twisted around and everyone else is to blame for EVERYTHING.

There's only so much you can give

yeappppp. i fixed it though....

i unfriended her from facebook. (and will be changing the locks once the rest of her shit is out).

HAHAHAHHAA. Sorry XD oh facebook...

it's not worth the stress though, you know? and last night...fucking wow. i swear crazy fuckers spawn from my skull or something.

This saddens me so much. It hurts that she can't care enough about herself. because I KNOW she cares about us, about you and me and sav

but it's like... how can you learn to really care about anyone else until you can care about yourself, first?

I really REALLY wanted to help her. I was told that some people never change. is it really too late for her? I thought maybe offering to do

a craft sale thing with her - she's actually quite talented and patient with crochet/knitting - and possibly sharing a craft sale table

maybe making her own money doing something she enjoyed would renew her motivation and dignity? but she won't even TRY! that's what's just so

disheartening. I just feel like we have so much to worry about without having to feel like we're supporting her. it is so backwards.

just a big fat sadface to all that. ((((

yeahhh.. im done with her.

if she cant be bothered to deal with her own shit and wants to live that way, so be it.

oh wellll

grandpa keeps calling asking if i've heard from her cause supposedly she's cut off her phone.

she left me a facebook comment on my Savannah album 2 days ago tho, so i think she's alright

she'll be "fine" - as in, back to her old bullshit.