I am so fucking *TIRED* of being immobile.

...and I am even MORE tired of not being in control over my own damn finances.

I have to ask mom for every penny I get, and unfortunately, she doesn't always seem to remember to tell me things that need to be paid for.

Things that only *she* knows about in the first place.

I'm tired of everyone needing me to either do everything for them.

Or for me to have to constantly remind them to do things that have to be done.

I am tired having to put on a fake good mood for company when inside, the chronic pain makes me want to kill myself just to get away from it

I am sick of everything that goes wrong being my fault in some way, shape or form.

And even more than that, I am sick of being in a place where I literally cannot fix things

either because I'm not physically able to do anything more than lay down at the moment

or because I don't have the money to pay bills.

I'm at a place where I just want all my problems to go away, and if that means I have to give up my life as I know it...

*sigh* I really need to just go to bed, I guess but

...I'm just so fucking confused.

I simultaneously want people to realize that I am in *pain* and I can't do everything that I want to do right now, I'm not just being lazy.

But I also want to be able to get off my ass and do the things I know I need to do for myself.

...

itp: whining >>

:/

/leans

/gently