*jots that down as a defence* In case I ever snap

I was thinking the same thing

Damn, that's the perfect defense!

But but but.... There has already been attempts to make caffeinated things a controlled substance. If they succeed there will be limits on

how many cups of coffee one can buy, ID checks, and more fees and taxes on sodas and coffee.

Don't worry, I'll get you what you need on the black market.