Short answer? Everything.

Longer Answer: EVERYTHING OH MY GOD.

But in all seriousness, it's really the little details that get to me in RP.

It's really just like... what divides my stuff between the mediocre and what's awesome? I can never really find it

And lately I feel like I've been slipping, a lot. And the haters have been coming in flocks

Which I know I shouldn't care about, but when every time you turn around you feel like someone else is either bitching about you personally

or your characters, it's just... kind of sucks.

So really I guess it's the fanbase that makes me nervous? Like I wish I could find a character I'm really good at and know I'm really good

at playing them. Because right now I don't feel like I have that at all

And as much as I wish I could say 'haters to the left', a lot of them are right. i'm fucking up. I can't keep my activity up, not because I

don't have time to tag, but because I'm actually becoming paranoid.

I never know if I'm doin' it right anymore. I always feel like something's wrong, and as more and more people around me become like, fucking

character legends, I can't seem to find my footing anymore

I've been doing LJRP for... shit, a long time now, almost 5 years. And I guess it was excuseable when I was a wee petit babby but now I'm

just not. And. Idk. Paranoid. Fun fact: My biggest fear is fading into obscurity. I know it's indulgent and self-absorbed but I feed off of

attention. And being insecure of myself is killing me and my characterization.

... Wow, this turned into my bitchrant, whoops. Er. Sorry about that. Needed to get it off my chest, I suppose.

I just... need to find something I love about my characters that I feel I do right. Which right now, is absolutely nothing, and I don't know

what to do :|

gonna. just. go over here idk. try to do tags and pick myself up