I'M BEEN DRAWN TO THIS INSUFFERABLE (GET IT, I'M FUCKING HILARIOUS) WEBSITE

TO KEEP AN EYE ON ALL OF YOU, AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE ALL HUGGING AT LEAST ONCE A DAY.

Give me a hug, then.

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO FUCKING HUG STRANGERS.

what about me

im a kawaii stranger

and also fabulous

I DUNNO, I'D HAVE TO ASK MY MOM.

pfffh ahahahaha

WHAT'S SO FUNNY ABOUT THAT.

nothing

except that youre a grown man

with a mom

Don't all humans have parent lususes?

THAT'S RIGHT, TIT SHITTER.

ONLY FUCKING TROLL WITH A MOM.

great i bet youre proud

does she tuck you in at night

and sing sweet lullabies

FUCK YES SHE DOES.

oh mr corset wearer that wears pants up to his shoulders

go the fuck to sleep

MAYBE LATER, IT'S NO WHERE NEAR MY BEDTIME.

AND WHAT IS A HUMAN.

What I am at the moment.

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULLSHITTERY. IS THIS ANOTHER FUCKING FUTURE ME

Nope! He's cooler than you'll ever 8e!

THAT'S GREAT, BUT COULD ELABOFUCKINGRATE?

AND WHO IS THIS.

WHO ARE YOU.

who are you

a better question

KARKAT VANTAS YOU NOOKSUCKING GRUBSHIT. THAT'S WHO.

ME?

I'M THE SUFFERER, BITCH.

I'M HERE TO SPREAD THE WORD OF MY PEOPLE.

AND SO AM I. AND HERE IT IS.

FUCK OFF AND GO DIE.

Why must you both use text that reads so loud and obnoxiously?

BECAUSE IT STANDS OUT, THAT'S WHY.

I TYPE THE WAY I WANT TO, FUCKASS, KEEP YOUR SHITTY DOG'S NOSE OUT OF THIS.

YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING LISTEN TO WHAT I HAVE TO SAY IF I'M TYPING IN CAPITAL LETTERS.

FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY.

HOW IS THIS ANY MORE BENIFICIAL?

IDIOT.

IT LOOKS FUCKING STUPID WHEN YOU DO IT.

NOW I'M EVEN MORE IRRITATING BEFORE AND EVERYONE HAS TO LISTEN TO ME WHINE AND FLAIL. WAHH. ALSO I HAVE SHORT AND NUBBY HORNS AND AM A

MUTANT OF MY OWN BLOOD.

It's hardily flattering.

I DON'T FUCKING SOUND LIKE THAT YOU FUCKASS. AND THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY HORNS.

........ That impression was pretty gr8 actually.

SHORT AND NUBBY HORNS ARE FUCKING FANTASTIC.

THAT'S MORE HORN THAT YOU HAVE TO SPEAK OF.

DOUBLE IDIOT.

IT WAS NOT FUCKING GREAT YOU STUPID SPIDER BITCH. AND YEAH. SEE. FUCKING FANTASTIC.

AND WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT BLOOD COLOR ANYWAY. IT DOESN'T MATTER AT ALL. YOUR BLOOD IS THE SAME AS MINE ANYWAY, NOIR.

Thank you, Vriska.

YOU'RE A MUTANT?

YEAH HE IS.

You take 8eing a8le to imit8 them as a good thing?

NOT HIM, YOU DUMB SHIT.

FUCK YOU, I'M NOT FUCKING STUPID.

It does not matter in our spectrum like it does yours.

Well, we don't have one, which proves it further.

However you're at the lowest of your possible class, and can't even defend yourself with the lumps on your head

I'm sure that feels fine as well.

And no, perhaps I do not have a pair. I don't need them. But they also seem to be a major factor in your species.

That you are, once again, lacking in.

FUCK OFF. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH HAVING SHORT NUBBY HORNS. AT LEAST I DON'T GET STUCK IN FUCKING DOORWAYS LIKE GAMZEE AND THAT ASSFUCK

TAVROS ALWAYS ARE.

WOW, WHO THE MOTHERFUCK ARE YOU, TELLING ME ABOUT MY OWN PEOPLE.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN A TROLL BY THE LOOK OF YOU.

Maybe, but they could also gut someone to shreds with them, if they willed.

WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT.

PEACE AND LOVE IS THE NUMBER ONE THING ON MY FUCKING AGENDA.

violence not a major contribution to your culture?

YES, AND THAT'S WHY I'M OUT TO CHANGE IT.

ALTERNIA WILL BE A BEAUTIFUL UTOPIA BY THE TIME I'M FINISHED WITH IT.

YOU'RE ALL GOING TO LEARN FORGIVENESS AND COMPASSION, OR ELSE.

Hahahahahaahahaha, Alternia a utopia? that will 8e the day.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW, YOU'RE NOT A TROLL.

Wow, your mom give you a gold star for working that out?

I grew up as a troll. I'm just not right now. ::::\

THAT MAKES NO SENSE. NOW GET OUT.

UNLESS YOU'D LIKE TO STICK AROUND AND TELL ME WHAT A HUMAN IS.

I'm a human right now, fuckass. Pink and squishy.

HUMAN SOME KIND OF DISEASE.

IF SO, KINDLY STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME.

Yes.

It's the worst disease you can possibly catch.

SOUNDS PRETTY SHIT.

IF I WOKE UP PINK AND SQUISHY I WOULD SHOOT MYSELF TO SAVE MYSELF THE FUCKING TROUBLE.

yeah

who needs that

Wow, you give up pretty fucking easily don't you?

HUMAN TERMINAL.

You're even dum8er than Karkat.

yeah

you catch it

and then wrinkle u pand die

SHIT.

AND WHO THE SHIT IS KARKAT.

ISN'T THAT THE KID WHO WAS IN HERE BEFORE.

I LIKED HIM.

GETS ALL UP IN YOUR FACE AND THAT.

Riiiiiiiight. ::::\

I BET HE WOULDN'T BE ADVERSE TO A BIT OF COOPERATION AROUND HERE.

So you're going to make Alternia a utopia together. That'll 8e fun to watch.

IT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER TO ACTUALLY BE A PART OF IT.

HOW ABOUT JOINING THE REVOLUTION?

-- ONCE YOU'RE FEELING BETTER.

I DON'T WANT YOU INFECTING MY DISCIPLES.

::::|

Right.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, RIGHT.

what the 2hiit am ii lookiing at here

good question

ii dont want two know

ii'm ju2t goiing two

you know iignore the 2hiit out of thii2

like you do with everything else

not everythiing

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU.

2ollux

NOPE, NOT FAMILIAR.

CARE TO ELABORATE, TWAT?

2ollux captor be2t hacker on alterniia you mu2t be liiviing under a rock iif you havn't heard of me ii'm kiind of a biig deal.

NEVER FUCKING HEARD OF YOU.

AND YET, I LIVE IN A CAVE.

SO SUCK MY BULGE, MOTHERFUCKER.