remembers and did not get a gift or anything.

...hadn't really expected you to remember, nor had he expected a gift from you even if you did...

you're being extremely dull on a day you're supposed to celebrate.

does not celebrate anymore, especially when there is no point.

supposes he would stop celebrating too, if he was as old as you. Ahaha! Or, no, wait... then that would mean no fireworks... What a dilemma.

...thinks that the best present for him right now is if you were to keep the insulting to a minimum. Fair, da?

that's a sucky present... and he would be denied his fun. So nope, not happening!~

cares not for what you think; it's his day, after all, so he should be the one to have "fun", not you.

that if your definition of fun is reading, then he's going to ignore that! 'Sides, old men like you don't know how to have fun!

not be sharing such priviledged information with you, regarding what he defines as "fun", because you do not deserve to know. Also, he

as if...you have had prior experiences with other "old men", if you can sound so confident in such a statement.

that's what spying is for, anyway. Don't underestimate him! And, duh, of course he has. He's spent a lot of time getting

close and personal with other nations, and a lot of them are pretty old, too!~ (SMILEY DIE)

personally go over there and choke you until you turn bright purple if you dare to even think of invading his privacy with your amateur

spies. And he...isn't sure what to make of such an agreement, since he hadn't thought you would admit to it at all. But of course; what

else could he have been expecting? It must be nice, to be personal with so many...
((...WHO'S GETTING SMILEY PWNED NOW, HUH?))

would just like to take a moment to interrupt this little sexual tension bitchfeat and point out that I, unfortunately for me but

fortunately for Mr. Creep Ass here, remembered what today's special occasion is and am therefore currently freezing my goddamn nuts off on

said Mr. Creepy Ass's front porch with a present.

(( oh, oops. That was supposed to say bitchfeS

(( GOTT VERDAMMT PHONE. Bitchfest. Bitch feST. ))

sent her gift via post. Her gifl

gift to Ivan is a tome called "How to Train Your Polar Bear". She hopes he makes good use of it!

no idea what this "sexual tension" Gilbert's talking about is... and his spies are not amateurs! Of course he's been

personal with a lot of people! That's sort of expected of him to do, yeah?~

Gilbert is misunderstanding the current "bitchfest", for there is nothing remotely sexual about it. And really, just to punish you, he will

leave you to stand outside for a few more moments.
[you are the epitome of amateur spying, America, and he will not comment on anything

else. Expected? Hardly...]

knocks harder on the door

stands in the kitchen, having put it upon himself to make a cake for himself, since he resigned to spending the rest of this supposedly

celebratory day alone. And he is surprised to say the least when a knock echoes through his home. Who could it be? he asks himself,

moving over to open the door...and he blinks, the visitor being someone completely uexpected. "...Gilbert?"

pushes his way inside, shivering even with his rather large coat on I know, you're completely dumbfounded. But regardless, I am here, so

Happy Birthday or independence day or however you want to call the day mother earth squeezed you from her proverbial gaping vagina. And may

I just say, your nose is looking extra shiny and bulbous today. Did you polish it for this special occasion? peers at it, before glaring

It's incredibly difficult to resist honking it, I hope you know. Anyways. I'm sure you're standing there in your elephant panties wondering

why it is I, of all people, am here to grace your Vaginal Escapee Reward Day, especially given our somewhat turbulent history, including but

not limited to trapping me behind a fucking wall, but you will be pleased to learn that in my ever-present quest for insurmountable

Awesomeness.. leans in Did you hear the capital A? It's very important. nods, continuing on his tirade That I have found the perfect

manner in which you! points a finger at Russia's nose, again resisting the urge to honk Will make it up to me. Assuming you are man enough

to undertake said Awesome Mission. crosses his arms awkwardly over his chest due to the bulge in his coat Well, Clown Boy? Are you a man,

or just a very ugly large-nosed toddler?

doesn't quite know how to react to the presence of one particular albino who has expressed (on *multiple occasions) that he did not like

(( Did you like my vent? XD I thought you would~ ))

Russia or anything related, and offers up no resistance to Gilbert pushing his uninvited way into the house. He wrinkles his nose a bit at

the vulgarisms exploding their way out of the other's mouth, self-consciously lifting up a hand to touch at his albeit larger-than-normal

nose when it's pointed out, and pouts a little. If there is something that hasn't changed between them, then it's the fact that he's still

being insulted like there is no tomorrow. But he supposes, that's just Gilbert's unique way of making him feel better, for which he is quite

glad for, especially on this great occasion! He blinks, genuinely intrigued and perhaps even a bit hopeful at the possibility of mending

the broken relations between Gilbert and he, and nods eagerly with a small, childish smile on his lips. Not at all fazed by the name calling

(it was a daily occurence, after all), he closes the door after realizing that it was still open, and directs the other by the shoulders

over to the fireplace. "Da, da, I am a man, not ugly large-nosed toddler," he says, in his cheerful voice. "I am glad that Gilbert has come

to me for help~! Спасибо!"

((It was lovely. <3 And totally what I expected from good ol' Gilbert. XD~))

Not for help. I don't need help. YOU'RE gonna need help.. snorts, fiddling with his jacket Now, I had discussed with Matt the possibility

of getting you a pet polar bear to name Gilbear, but he expressed worry that I wouldn't be able to get one, which proved correct. *grumbles,

scratching at a cut on his jaw* However, I found something way more awesome. It is your job to raise it to its full awesome potential. I

give you.. unzips the jacket carefully, and curled against his chest is a sleeping tiny wolf pup Gilcub!

now once again confused as to the true purpose of the other's visit, because he does not think he is need of help for anything yet. Perhaps

Gilbert knows something that he does not? "Polar bear," he repeats, heart doing a little dance in his chest at the kind-hearted gesture, and

if this means that they're friends now. He tries not to stare at the front of Gilbert's jacket, which he belatedly realizes is sporting a

particularly large hump; because that would be rude, and he does not want to make the other angry (even if he thinks it would be best to

tell the albino that he is gaining a bit of weight). He is also just that little bit aghast when Gilbert starts to pull down the zipper of

the jacket, not exactly sure as to why he is going to be shown a stomach, but he can only look on in calm politeness- "...Gilcub?" he

mutters questioningly, sounding to himself very much like a broken record, but cannot help but giggle. "It is a silly name!"

Shut up, it was that or Gilwolf and Gilcub sounds cuter! *glares up at him, before shimmying out of his jacket, holding the sleepy pup

against his chest* I'm pretty sure it's a boy, and he looks kind of ornery when he's awake. Little bastard nearly took off my finger. So I

thought he'd be perfect for someone like you with huge pig fingers covered in so much unnecessary meat that they would be perfect chew toys.

So here. holds the pup out, its little eyes starting to blink sleepily Happy Birthday. If I catch you having sex with him because not even

cheap hookers will come visit you out here in the middle of the goddamn Siberian version of hell, then I will rip your penis off. Oh, also,

it is your duty to train him to attack everybody but me and you, obviously, and West and Lovino and Feliciano. And France and Spain, I

guess. nods, brushing wolf hair off his shirt He likes beer for some reason, just so you know.

can only continue to smile in the face of that familiar red-eyed glare, feeling more happy and less confused as he lets his eyes roam over

the tiny body of the pup and lets the insult fly over his head. But he blinks again as the small animal is held out to him, along with those

congratulatory (though said begrudgingly, he feels) words, and is somewhat hesitant in accepting. His track-record with animals, especially

wild ones, isn't really the best, and he has yet to get over that scarring accident with the rabbit as a child... Wrinkling his nose at

Gilbert's insinuation of beastiality, he decides that he will take on this new challenge of raising a pet that he hopes will become a good

friend. He reaches out to take the pup from Gilbert, holding it's frail form in his own two hands as those eyes eventually open up wide and

stare up at him. "But if you upset me, then I have the right to make Александр attack you, da?" he asks, turning back to the albino with a

serious look, before humming and smiling back towards the wolf pup. "Beer is good, but vodka is better. He will like it more, I am sure."

No, you can't make Gilcub attack me, you asshole. glares again and reaches up to whap the taller male lightly on the back of the head Just

try not to kill him, ja? scratches the pup under the chin Take care, squirt. Don't eat yellow snow and all that shit. I'm going back to

where it's warm. zips his jacket back up, saluting Ivan Good luck, comrade.

laughs, allowing Gilbert the pleasure of hitting him on the head as a token of his thanks for the lovely birthday present, and pats the

other on the head. "I will try to remember not to let him attack you," he replies, still giggling at the mental image. He watches the pup

nestle into the albino's hand, mentally cataloguing the scratching as a form of physical endearment. But what takes him by complete surprise

the salute that is given to him, the familiar gesture melting his smile into something more grateful and sincere. "Thank you." For coming

all the way here and giving me this...

Ah, don't mention it. wraps his scarf around his neck, digging his gloves out of his jacket Seriously. Don't mention it. And don't stand

there giving me those big goo goo eyes like you always d-GAH, like that. Those right there. *glares, wrinkling his nose up, muttering under

his breath about ballerinas and the ice capades* See you at next month's meeting. waves over his shoulder and goes out to his car

now definitely certain that this whole exchange has upgraded the relation between Gilbert and him up to friends, because friends give

each other presents, even if they are somewhat begrudging, right? Which means that he should return the gesture and get the other something

as well! He continues to smile, because he is feeling giddy at the moment (and also for the amusing reactions that Gilbert shows), and waves

back as he stands at the doorway. "Da! I will get you something too!"