i came out to her years ago, but she's recently been interested in my porn and stuff

don't look at me idk why

anyway, we were talking, and i can't remember what we were saying exactly, but the gist of it was she replied to something i said with

'but you're not asexual, right?'

which... kind of surprised me

turns out she sees writing porn as the act of a sexual person

........ /facepalm

i don't... see how that means anything about my sexuality, that i like writing about two men fucking

and even find it mildly... well, arousing

...But...writing porn can be a safe and non-sexual way to explore sexuality for someone who is asexual.... ..........

yeah, that

it doesn't mean i'm a gay man either

so i don't see why it means i'm sexual

Lies, Alex, we all know you're a gay man at heart.

i tried to explain some of these things and she just said 'okay' in that--lka;jewfkaf JEN

BAD JEN

SORRY

I can see why it would be confusing at first though. tbh I can see why it would be hard for a sexual to understand.

I always look at it as, though...

but... yeah, i think the most annoying thing was that she said 'okay' in the way that means she doesn't believe me in the slightest and is

I enjoy reading and writing about characters committing murder in fiction sometimes, but that doesn't mean I want to murder someone, you

know?

just agreeing to shut me up

Seriously though, I hope she takes the time to understand you better. If only because you're sisters.

she's a great sister, she just... well, she'll be living with us for a month (or so) in less than a month, so hopefully we'll be able to

talk more, and i'll try to explain more about it

...she also did that thing that i think a lot of sexuals who don't understand do, where she questioned where i found the definitions for

things like asexual and such

i think part of the problem is that for a long time she wasn't interested in love or boys or anything... and now she has a boyfriend

so. Yeah.

she'll probably shove me in the 'just isn't ready yet' box for a long, long time

i hope not

but i'm not going to fight with her if she refuses to get it

...wow /hugs

i do get that itd be sort of hard to understand, really

yeah, but i wish that she would trust me to know what teh fuck i'm feeling, ugh

but that being said, ive never been sexual and have enjoyed reading/writing porn lol xD

/cuddles with you

at least she's not tryign to set me up on dates lol

haha yeah, thats good

Oh god, Jen YOU HAD TO, DIDN'T YOU?

cough Sorry about that.

ahah, it's fine

it was funny XD

...also she seems very... hmm. Idealistic. I never knew i was more cynical than her before this vacation

i wish i'd written this down, but there was just... this one thing where she was basically like 'if we all just treated each other right,

we'd all get along!'

...i think it had to do with a discussion of how certain young males like to wear their pants

but i just... couldn't believe that she actually thinks it's that simple

But more to the point - I think, in very broad terms, that there's a certain mindset that you adopt when making up stories.

Or a mindset that compels you to do so.

The act of putting yourself in another person's head, namely, while being fully conscious that their imaginary desires are not necessarily

the same or even similar to your own.

aaaah, good point!

made even more complicated by the fact that i was actually museboxing some porn with another mun

so yeah

But at least to me, it is precisely that difference that drives my interest in the imagining - how does this person work?

What makes them tick?

I generally make no noise about my own orientation but let it be said I've played characters whose orientations differ from mine.

/nodnod

And sex is generally an intensely personal experience. XD Makes it excellent fodder for character study.

Also, sometimes it's just fun, writing porn.

To me that's a perfectly good reason.

yes~ i kind of adore it now that i've gotten over my slight squick of it XD

i mean, working out why characters would be attracted to a and not b

Yes, exactly.

Yeah, wanting to write porn to see what characters would do and because it's fun doesn't negate orientation

hallowd: OF COURSE I DID