i want to get out of this house

i want to go on facebook and not feel seething jealousy

like its honestly so bad

my mom doesnt understand at all neither does my dad

they keep trying to tell me its not bad but it is!! and its all my fault that i hate fiu

commuter schools are different

really different

if i were to make a buttload of friends its not going to be the same as if i were w/ them 24/7 which dorming does

its gonna be like high school again where making plans is a hassle because everyone lives in buttfuck nowhere and its difficult

to get something going

and no one wants to fucking talk to you in fiu its actually atrocious

none of the clubs care about advertising that, hey!! we are here join us!!!, because everyone has their own lives

outside of school that they have to attend to

i dont understand how my parents could literally lie to my face and say its my fault that im not taking it as the "college experience"

and theyre like "well you can get out at any time you want so its not like highschool!!"

i signed myself out of high school sometimes, i did NOTHING all of high school all the time

so fuck off with that

im just

so angry with how my life is right now

and how its turned out

im just so freaking upset with everything i cant explain

i miss my friends i miss going out i miss just talking to them and knowing they understand

at the same time i hate that they get to make new friends, friends that will last them forever and im stuck at this selfabsorbed

school where everyone is just looking forward to getting the fuck out of there at 5pm

i feel petty

i need to check my bank account because i really am going to apply back to alabama

in fact im going to do it right now