So a while back, I posted about that guy I had a crush on and how we kissed and how magical it was and stuff like that.

Well, he rejected me.

I had the worse obsession with him, he was all that consumed my mind for all of May.

I invested so much time in trying to please him, and his friends, and trying to get him to like me.. which is so juvenile.

I gave favors, I gave money, I gave kindness, I gave myself until finally I had nothing left to give.

and he just took it all.

But let me tell you how this all went down:

So after we had that kiss, a week later there was a school dance. The 90s Prom.

I went with his friends, and we all drank together and had fun. He showed up an hour before the dance stopped.

We all went back to my dorm room, and drank, and they said they were going to go out to the bars.

He said he forgot his ID, so he couldn't go.

so he stayed with me, my roommate, and my roommates girlfriend, and we watched movies

Eventually he and I get some time alone, we hold hands, and I tell him how I feel about him.

He kind of just smiles and tells me he's flattered, and he tells me he's going to blush if I keep going on.

So he spends the night at my house, and leaves while I'm asleep.

the next day he tells me he only sees me as a friend.

and that it'd be best for us not to get attached since the year is ending and he's going back to Brazil by the end of it.

Well, so finally fast forward to my last night in Savannah

and we all go out to a bar, his friends adore me and sneak me into a bar by convincing the lady who owns the place to let me in.

we all dance, I get drunk as hell for the first time around them, and I had a really fun time.

I follow him back to his place because "my roommate and his girlfriend are having sex"

and he and I end up talking for 2 hours, about everything.

I lean in, and try to kiss him, and he pushes me away.

and he tells me

"No, please, I don't want to have to tell you why."

I have never in my life, felt so unsexy.

His ghost is still haunting my mind.

He has occupied so much space in my corners of my mind, bought up so much of it's land, and I can't seem to shake this obsession.

not only am I obsessed with him or at least his physical appearance

but my pride and ego also hurt.

I can't even bring myself to properly express how I feel, I want to just cry over it and let this whole experience be over

but I can't, I feel as if I used up all my allotted amount of tears for him already.

come and let me hug you and feed you drink and watch gorgeous killers

Awww Morgan ((

at least you have the distance, and work starting soon will be a good distraction. TIME HEALS ALL. I wish I was home to give you a hug