GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:18:40.000Z
latest #35
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:20:01.000Z
The thing is, it only times one small thing that bothers me to get me upset to the point I'm crying, casually contemplating suicide and self harming.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:22:27.000Z
That one thing reminds me of every time I felt sad or angry or frustrated with myself and life in general.
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:27:38.000Z
/);n;/) aaa aris
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GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:28:17.000Z
It's sad, because it's really only minor things that effect me on such a level.
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:28:46.000Z
they add up even if they're small
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:28:47.000Z
I pulled a muscle in my back this morning and still went to work smiling.
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:29:00.000Z
;n; i'm sorry it's been hard on you
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:29:54.000Z
Find out my bluray player is a hunk of junk and that it not being able to connect to netflix (the key reason I bought it) is actually a known issue that I can't do anything about and LOLNOPE
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:30:46.000Z
Suddenly I'm crying and digging at my arms and having horrible intrusive thoughts.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:31:23.000Z
Objectively I'd say it ties into my self esteem issues.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:35:05.000Z
It's like a reminder that I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve to be happy and was an idiot for ever getting my hopes up.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:37:01.000Z
Softboiled: It's ugh. You know I can't really say it's been hard. It sure hasn't been ideal but for the most part life has been pretty OK.
SakuraLatte🌸
2014-01-10T03:37:03.000Z
Aris...
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:37:32.000Z
It's just been... I dunno. I hate saying 'it's just depression' but that's really all I've got.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:39:16.000Z
It's to the point where even happy things make me sad.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:40:26.000Z
Because almost as soon as that feeling of pleasure washes over me, a tidal wave of fear and sadness follows in it's wake because I know whatever made me happy won't last.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:43:36.000Z
I dunno why I even make these post. It's nice to vent sometimes, but in reality I just feel like a car stuck in the mud, spinning it's wheels with no hope of getting free.
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:44:00.000Z
it helps letting it out in some way I think
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:44:07.000Z
just to get them sorted
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:44:46.000Z
I don't really have anyone to talk to, so yeah. Shouting into the void of the internet really is my only option.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:45:42.000Z
My mother doesn't handle my depressive spells well so I'm pretty good at covering it up in my day to day life.
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:46:30.000Z
you can talk to us!
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:46:34.000Z
;n;
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:47:00.000Z
You have better things to worry about.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:47:32.000Z
Like I said, I'm just spinning my wheels because I can't really do anything.
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:50:17.000Z
Actually, that's entirely true, because I've given myself a headache now so I'm going to get myself some pain relievers.
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:51:14.000Z
;n; aaa
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:51:18.000Z
get some good rest
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:51:21.000Z
/);n;/)
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:55:10.000Z
thank's carol ;;
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:55:37.000Z
I am gonna take this opportunity to bugger off and just go to bed
GothicPrincess
2014-01-10T03:55:47.000Z
I hope you and Liz have a good night
(งツ)ง
2014-01-10T03:55:57.000Z
;A; talk to you soon!
SakuraLatte🌸
2014-01-10T03:58:33.000Z
Babe, good night <3
SakuraLatte🌸
2014-01-10T03:58:44.000Z
It's okay
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