My apologies, but I'm not going to get better at plurking regularly. With my emotional state at an all time low, and my sense of self worth rather mirroring it, I may be prone to vanish from here or even Skype.
If I start disappearing from skype, I've probably gone to attempt some new activity in real life to fill my time other than the things which have set me on such a poor state in the first place.
These may include crafting projects, or simply taking on a work-out regiment in order to alter my body to be in better shape.
I advise that you not take my absence or silence as anything personal, but with my current emotional state involving the seemingly ever present desire to curl up and hide from everything when I am not at work..
It may just be better for me to stop doing what seems to be the worst offenders for the root cause of my ill mood and temper. As much as I personally don't want to give them up.
What this means is: I may not play league at all in the near future, because my continual failure, and seemingly worsening skills at the game are a big contributor for my deficit in self worth.
It isn't even the fact that I "lost" so much, though that is one part of it. It's the fact that I feel completely steam-rolled, even using characters I am supposedly familiar with.
If I can be so easily trumped when supposedly "at my best", then what is the point of trying in such a game? Especially when it occurs repeatedly?
Further, when attempting to write or work on any of my "creative" projects, I feel as though the "Feedback" portion of these things have been incredibly lacking, especially among those closest to me.
As a result of that, and what feedback I have gotten ranging from "are you ripping off x" or inadvertently causing someone rather close to me grief, I'm not sure if I should even continue.
And if I do continue, I'm not sure if I should dedicate as much time as I have to such, or even dare share it should I do so. Why bother displaying the efforts of my work, when it is either not appreciated
or causes problems when displayed (either by being accused of copying, or causing others distress from misinterpretation).
I greatly dislike this feeling, but because it hasn't gotten better for me in the last few weeks, I've decided I need to look at my habits and current "hobbies" and re-evaluate if things should continue.
This is not how I normally operate, and this large alteration in my behavior is generally unappreciated. However, I'm at a loss for how to fix it appropriately.
So for now, I think I will remain at a distance, until my mood lifts. I apologize for any worries this may cause, but I would rather explain all of this than have any potentially worried people speculate on it.
//sends barrels of hugs// I get you better than I'd like to, bro. ._. Hope you sort stuff out and feel better soon.
LOL has a very toxic envirnoment and I literaly left it for like half a year because of that
It's a very unbalanced game. Don't feel bad if you loose all the time
I literally have gone through this eact thing, and am still going through. Physical craft projects really do help. Make a costume, prop, draw thing, even build a gundam model (or other, I love zoids)
the whole process of just following instructions while watching something good is very cathartic.
If I had anything to do with this I apologise.
Though it will be kinda sad, I really enjoy speaking with you. :3
Yeah I've missed having you around a lot, myself, but you gotta do what you gotta do. ._.