I. i have so many lovely threads going on rn you are all wonderful ok

II. steph has a few new icons

III. i really want to rp filthy smut with her oops

also domesticity

also angst

uh p much all the things actually

turns to camera

IV. i want to play normal au steve/bucky ok i made an au journal for buck and all

but yes i feel very spoiled there are so many utterly amazing people in this fandom and i feel like at least for now i've sort of hit my stride in it and everything is beautiful and i want more

but i'm also really happy with what i have

i have a moderncollegething acct for steve .-.

'tis not quite college au i have in mind but maybe we can work a thing out

it's what i made it for but yeah it's totally adaptable

not like i need more accounts. stares at horizon

excellent c:

so the au i have in mind is basically normal au bucky returning from several tours in the middle east after an ied blew up the truck he was in, so he lost an arm, was honorably discharged and now

to figure out how to live in the normal world and deal with his ptsd n stuff

possibly he was also a pow and tortured at some point yup

and he and steve only get to know each other at that point

uh also V. i know i owe people tags but i'm tipsy and sleepy and my focus is shot to hell so eh they'll come whenever!! sorry folks

oh wow that sounds like a great au

yes i want it ok

/peers

isadiya: hiiii you !!!

hi :3c

I will get to our smutty thing eventually, I promise.

Smut brain shut down for other silly shenanigans idk.

shh i love our silly shenanigans very much

isadiya: you and i we should do more things mh mh mh

NOT THAT I DON'T STILL OWE YOU TAGS OOPS??

yes that would be lovely

varooooom: alfdkj you spoil me so much

isadiya: what kind of things would you like tell me all your thoughts

It's mutual spoiling.

the best kind

idk I want them traveling and going undercover and fighting bad guys and having to patch each other up

oh oh yes i like patching each other up and also undercover stuff pleeeease

girrrrl I hope you're v careful with that normal au :c

err probably not as careful as i should be or as you would be tbh

annnnd now it's time to sleep g'night world

lena pls don't hate me for not always being a critical and careful human being

I was out!! and I don't hate you. umm TW for violence, rape, below? just to be safe

where I'm coming from - it's not about always being critical and careful; it's that it sounds like the whole au is based on the some of the most extreme, damaging and traumatic experiences someone can have

and further, violent loss of limbs and torture, ime, are the kind of experiences that are often grossly misrepresented and/or romanticized bc they don't register as real for most people

where torture is concerned - the way most people picture it - it definitely doesn't in the way other more common but no less harmful violations of autonomy and self do

but if you were careful of and critical of and bothered by rape (and how irresponsibly and grossly it was handled) in AoS I guess I don't see why you wouldn't be v. circumspect and careful with this too?

and none of this is to suggest you don't play it out! I know you can be thoughtful where trauma is concerned, but the 'not as careful as I should be' makes me sad

that's my speech.

I'm actually reading a book right now by a woman who was in the Army, along with her husband

her husband suffered a traumatic brain injury in Iraq and the book is about the fallout of that and PTSD and pretty much everything in your AU - coming home and having to deal with all that and try to build

a life and a marriage

Plenty of Time When We Get Home: Love and Recovery i...

if you're interested or want a firsthand account of what it's like

there's a lot of good stuff coming out now on the subject of PTSD and homecoming/reintegration - I highly recommend The Long Walk by Brian Castner

I'm gonna look up Plenty of Time!

hmkay just woke up so let's see how well I manage to articulate anything but yeah I'd like for the au to be a love story of sorts with the details of the au there largely to stay true to character

considering the massive trauma Bucky has suffered and translating that of sorts? I won't romanticize that more than I've done with canon buckys trauma I think but

to treat it as circumspectly and carefully as it should be treated given the subject matter would require more research, time and effort than I was planning to put into this

so I wouldn't want to gloss over it or magically fix anything because these issues are a big part of who the character is

au or no

but I think it's a subject matter you know more about than I do and that you're more attuned to perhaps? so I probably won't be as careful as you'd be for those reasons alone

so that's what I meant by not as careful as you/as I should be if that makes any sense?

I'm about to pass out, so we're even - and I think I do understand what you're saying, but as long as you're translating it the way you've chosen, into modern-warfare-realistic trauma,

I'll have to be predictable and keep being a cheerleader for research

and effort/time, etc

y that makes sense