→ kneecap
2015-06-02T19:34:03.000Z
[lgbt/FEELINGS/mute] whoop. eating lunch feeling great watching buzzfeed-- two seconds into a video about coming out and Im already crying
latest #92
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T19:34:15.000Z
GUESS ILL TRY OUT THIS FEELINGS PLURK ugh
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T19:38:26.000Z
man I can't believe how effortlessly that got to me. the video hadn't even gone anywhere
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T19:38:41.000Z
....guess that means this is probably a touchy topic with me right now, huh.
立即下載
→ kneecap is
2015-06-02T19:38:48.000Z
that what you're trying to tell me, brain.
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T19:42:28.000Z
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T19:48:38.000Z
that... makes sense...
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T20:09:10.000Z
ugh. it's been a half hour and Im still goin
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T20:09:35.000Z
I really like being able to hide in seattle, I think
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T20:09:46.000Z
Im afraid of everything outside of it
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T20:10:27.000Z
all my problems are out there and I dont like being reminded of them I guess
вσиє αвуѕѕ ∂υѕт
2015-06-02T20:42:32.000Z
red :<
вσиє αвуѕѕ ∂υѕт
2015-06-02T20:42:47.000Z
it's ok to NOT come out, you know? it's ok to do it but it's fine to not be ready yet.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:13:50.000Z
yeah... but I don't know if I'd actually ever feel 'ready'
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:14:11.000Z
and part of me feels like there would be this big weight lifted off my shoulders
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:14:14.000Z
I hate hiding
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:14:28.000Z
I hate having to screen what I say and do
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:14:37.000Z
even if you don't feel ready, if you want to come out, that'd also be okay.
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:14:41.000Z
doing it via e-mail would be okay.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:18:30.000Z
yeah... I think email is probably how I'd go
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:18:47.000Z
as least for my uncle, since there might be an explosion
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:19:13.000Z
maybe outing myself to my dad can be his father's day present ha ha ha :|
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:19:35.000Z
I think that's good. You can even recycle the same e-mail, if family members explode they'll have some time to cool d own.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:20:46.000Z
I cant believe how scary this is'
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:21:06.000Z
have I mentioned that sometimes I forget Im gay???
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:21:23.000Z
oh?
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:21:27.000Z
because her parents and everyone here is so cool about it, no one glances twice
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:21:32.000Z
I forget about it
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:22:12.000Z
and then Ill leave seattle or think about traveling somewhere or talking to someone from home
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:22:23.000Z
it's
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:22:25.000Z
pretty scary
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:22:27.000Z
or Ill think about what life used to be
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:22:47.000Z
I mean YOU KNOW how cool my parents are, and how no one in this city cares, and how I've got no idea how bad it is in the rest of the country...
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:22:54.000Z
and Ill be like... wtf Im one of the gays?? when did that happen??
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:22:58.000Z
But I'm still, like, scared to come out to my grandparents.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:23:04.000Z
gfdjhjk
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:23:07.000Z
it'
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:23:10.000Z
it's legit
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:23:14.000Z
My harmless, Washington grandparents. :|
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:23:55.000Z
The worst that they'll do is... Frown and suggest I look to God for answers or whatever, but still, the thought of being JUDGED by family is terrifying.
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:24:22.000Z
No one wants to be looked down on for what they're doing, especially by family you're really close to.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:24:31.000Z
yeah...
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:24:53.000Z
It makes perfect sense why you're upset about it.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:25:04.000Z
and I just remember all the times it has come up, all the things they've said, all the judging of "Other"
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:25:20.000Z
I was there too. I was raised in it.
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:25:27.000Z
you know them. you've seen how they react to it.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:25:28.000Z
and so now sometimes I'll realize with this pang
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:25:29.000Z
It's not fair that you've got to deal with it and not know if there's going to be fallout because of it.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:25:35.000Z
oh my god I'm one of them
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:26:10.000Z
I think I agree with Senri that... coming out to some people ahead of time might be a good way to soften the blow when you actually visit.
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:26:10.000Z
you might be scared and never properly ready but it might be worth it to have it all out on the table. I feel like there are probably other closeted or queer family members who will be your allies.
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:26:15.000Z
even if in really subtle ways...?
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:26:26.000Z
oh yeah there's no way that I'm going there TO come out
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:26:31.000Z
and I absolutely think you should come out ahead of time.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:26:45.000Z
yeah there's no question about that
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:26:53.000Z
but if anything, that shortens my deadline to do it
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:26:59.000Z
which is scary
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:27:03.000Z
you have us on your team!
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:27:04.000Z
It'll be way easier if everyone clearly understands the terms of your visiting. :| To be a daughter and sister, and not the "gay (??) relative who moved away suddenly and needs to explain"
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:27:16.000Z
and you can SAY that.
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:27:19.000Z
you can say as much.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:27:20.000Z
yeah........
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:27:23.000Z
I guess
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:27:30.000Z
I do want to make some terms clear
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:27:37.000Z
like hey Im here and Im with my girlfriend
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:27:43.000Z
dont ask to see me if thats going to be a problem
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:27:48.000Z
are you guys renting a car?
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:27:57.000Z
we'd have to
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:28:05.000Z
(thanks for not auto-updating, plurk)
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:28:05.000Z
you can't get around with public transportation there
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:28:08.000Z
good, then you can bail. you have so much implicit power if you can just leave.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:28:30.000Z
WELL yeah kind of. my mom really wants me to stay at her place
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:28:37.000Z
I have to figure out a compromise or something
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:28:40.000Z
if someone wants to make it a big feelstalk of stuff you've explicitly said you're not up for, you can give them two topic changes and if they don't take a hint, you can remember there's something you have to
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:28:40.000Z
I dont want to stay there
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:28:41.000Z
go do.
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:29:06.000Z
yeah
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:29:27.000Z
luckily I think they're all probably too anti-confrontation for that
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:29:36.000Z
hopefully
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:30:13.000Z
most of them are more passive aggressive
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:30:39.000Z
rehearse what you're going to do mentally. you can have plans for both bouncing passive-aggression and direct confrontation.
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:30:51.000Z
you shouldn't have to take that shit and if you decide to push back on it it's not wrong.
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:32:19.000Z
the nice thing you opening communications is that... it gives them no excuse to be weird about it later...
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:32:50.000Z
like, if they've got a problem and don't say anything to you about it, it's on them.
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:33:20.000Z
if they are passive-aggressive later, that's them being horrible and not your fault at all. YOU DID YOUR BIT you opened up the floor for communication.
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:33:52.000Z
we got ur back
Yale Sale →
2015-06-02T21:34:03.000Z
I will fight them with my little fists if I must
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:34:20.000Z
jkhjk
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:34:23.000Z
buh
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:34:43.000Z
and boy... the mental rehearsing is going to be happening nonstop
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:34:45.000Z
I know that much
→ kneecap
2015-06-02T21:34:50.000Z
its already on my mind all the time
pluviophile
2015-06-02T21:34:53.000Z
you CAN do this. it's surmountable. you can just take it in baby steps.
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