I'm sorry for venting here but I can't vent about this on tumblr because the party of interest follows me on tumblr

but it hurts to watch one of your best friends replace you for a bunch of strangers

and you're still sitting here wondering what the FUCK you did wrong

what you could go and do and change and just pray that they dont mean that they dont want you to be friends with them

like fuck i was almost in love with this girl for part of my life and now she's thrown me to the ground like a piece of gum under her shoe

and i just dont get it?? i dont know what i've done to make her want to run away

it because i'm still interested in the stuff i was in when we met? that i still like to do dangan ronpa roleplays and ship my rarepairs and i??

i dont understand and i'm angry because everyone i love is just running away from me and i want to punch myself in the goddamn face because i dont understand and i'm scared

because what if what i'm doing is apparent, what if it's my need for attention that's driving everyone away

jesus fuck i hate being a teenager, i hate not knowing what to do, and i am just so so fucking sick of being alone

can i move to texas and start over already

I'm so sorry that you're going through that. >< I have met folks (on tumblr, off tumblr etc) that were my best friends or so I thought, but as soon as our fandoms became different we ended up not talking

much anymore or at all.

We only just added each other, but I'd like to think that there isn't anything wrong with you. Some folks sadly just...come and go. The ones that stay regardless of whatever your interests are, are the ones

worth keeping.

I really hope that there's nothing wrong with me, and I hope that it's just the couple-years age difference setting in and them deciding they'd like older friends instead of me

If I knew that I was doing something wrong I don't think my heart could take it

If there is something you're doing that may be bothering others, it's on them to tell you, imo....especially if it's not your intention and you're really unaware about it.

I mean?? I'm a teenager, I do dumb shit sometimes, it's commonplace- but I do have the mental capacity to understand if what I'm doing is hurting someone and the fact that they're shutting --

-- me out instead of telling me is hurting ME and therefore i feel like i'm playing the victim card so its always a two-edged sword

I know exactly what you mean. Like, for real. It's like you can't be taken seriously because you're the damaged party. :<