She's even made herself comfortable and is cleaning her paws like a queen

While I'm now stuck on the toilet because cat

literal queen of the earth

The only way to successfully escape the trap is to make her think it's her idea to get up not mine

that cat!

Do not be fooled!

She knows exactly what she's doing

Does she want to take a bath with you, too?

that she does not! She'll play with water under the faucet with her paw, but other than that she avoids water