(fyi this is a sort of redemption fic and he's trying not to be an ass anymore)

there's a ton of self-hate also (ʘ‿ʘ✿)

even when he resurrects a friendship and isn't being an ass, there's always a little voice in his mind telling him he doesn't deserve it and he'd be better off dead

it's a doozy

That is an excellent line.