acts chill on Facebook about it but irl at 2am last night I'm having an anxiety attack and questioning my worth as an artist

Like idk why I wouldn't be accepted cause my art isn't hot garbage or anything and tbh if I see Matt selling his shit there I am going to fucking scream

I might actually assault him

I'm so filled with anger and frustration I can't think clearly

I don't even want to get up cause what's the point if I don't have anything to actually work on anymore

Oh my keychain supplies will be in the mail today
Too bad it doesn't matter though

I always act so low-key mad/upset I don't think many people have seen me angry to this point

I'll probably see PhaseID with 4 fucking tables like last year. Like thanks assholes

If we had'nt sent spent over $100 on stuff to be ready for this con I wouldn't have felt as bad but now it was a waste of time AND our hard earned money

Like the overwhelming feeling of failure makes me so sick.. And Andrew says I can't give up and I know that but if my next con is in April I'm going to cry

I'm pretty much hoping and praying that it was a mistake and that I'm in and they just ran out of time to email people or something but my hopes are all gone at this point

I swear though if I see Matt and his garbage pedophile art there I will loose my fucking mind. Its at the point where it has me so paranoid about him actually rigging shit against me getting in to Artist alleys

After being ignored for months by the con chair of Ryukon to get an AA table after multiple emails and personal FB messages I knew Matt had said something to her

It is so triggering because he used this same tactic to try to ruin my life after we broke up

And it brings up the worst memories in me and all the bad things he's done to me

But he talks like he's the best artist ever and that he's professional and how everyone loves him. It makes me want to puke

I've been working on becoming a professional artist since the day I enrolled in an art mentorship back in middle school. I'm serious about my art

Art is my entire life and I have put my entire entity into it. I try so hard and put 2000% into my work. I try so hard and people like him get what they want without a single hitch

It's slowly becoming a rant about Matt but honestly I needed that too. I'm feeling much better being away from him though. Accidentally seeing him once in a while really sucks and not seeing his dumb face helps

I just feel so confident in my work right now so the rejection hurts me 2x as much

Ranting helped a lot.

Oh my god, what the hell... they had better not fucking let Matt in. Does he ever even SELL anything?! I just. Wow, okay. Fuck you, too, UB.

You deserve better than this and I'm so sorry

matt's garbage merchandise

I like the random yugioh playmat. That was actually mine and I left it at his place so I guess the AA is a garage sale now

The only thing on that display that looks even REMOTELY worthwhile are the splatoon cushions and I can't even tell if those are his?

also Christ dude. :/ Craigslist. eBay. A bonfire???

The problem with them is they have gotten a C&D about selling them cause it's technically bootlegging the official merchandise but he still sells them. GG

OH. WELL. :/

I was also gonna say - those are the best looking things on there and they STILL look p ratchet.

His stuff is garbage
Honestly I wish he would just stop doing AA cause I know the only reason he is doing it is to make me mad?

I told him when we were going out that he would never be able to do AA till he improved and now he's doing it to rub it in my face

it's been. How many fucking years?

I mean ok I have very little room to talk about not letting things go but

I hate to sound like an asshole but if you have no talent, no passion for art, or you are there to just make a quick buck you need to gtfo of artist alley

so the people who are serious about their passion have a chance

I don't sabotage things Theresa tries to do. I don't do things just to spite her. I generally just try to stay as far away from her and pretend she doesn't exist as much as possible.

For real! Ugh he's so fucking gross

I do all those above things to Theresa. I have no shame and no chill

If that bitch does it to me you are damn right I will exact my revenge

You've also spoken to her more recently than 6 years ago, though.

Yep and she knows I know her little routine so she knows better than to mess with me anymore

I mean. I still think I'm completely justified in hating her and referring to her as my abuser. Don't get me wrong.

She is is a terrible person, seriously

I'm the last person on earth to deny petty revenge, lmao. But like... you haven't talked to Matt really in at least like 3-4 years, right? And he's STILL doing this shit?

It's like okay brony friendzony you need to make like Elsa and let it go also you are fUCKING CREEPY

Rotfl!!!