I need a goddamn person to equivocally voice some shit going on so I can feel like this experience is normal (even though it's not, but normal considering)

me !

OK SO

Like.. one of my things is an abusive family member, ex, PERSON. And one of the things that embodies that kind of talk/behavior/etc is the president-elect we have

And I can't think of a good reason to be able to ignore it

And IDK what to do other than turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms

because this shit strikes into something deep

Any thoughts/advice?

[trigger: suicidal ideation] basically

if I had to be faced with this shit I can't ignore the fact that I'm gonna be thinking to do some drastic shit to make it end

I just can't. I'm still barely, at best, over what happened. But now, after all this?

Daaaaayummniiiiit

It doesn't help my family isn't supportive by telling me to just "get over it" and "it won't be so bad"

Kinda feel alone here. And left out and ignored and kicked to the curb to die off

I know I'm not in communities like this, but in the areas where it matters in terms of making decisions to pass laws to protect people who have been through situations like this

Which hits me hard like a m.f'er, I can't rise up. I try, but I can't. I'm not strong enough. And I'm really hoping there's some type of resource out there or SOMETHING to make it a little less impacting

Because as of now it's seriously impacting

Like, I've been one of those people contributing to the spike of suicide hotline calls

And though I work in a field which is the catch-net of the result of those people, I can't find faith to keep on trying. The hell

I should be better

But after seeing hate and anger and abuse won and is the majority, I'm not

I do too actually I can text you

But sort of generally, for me, DBT has been great (although there's one part of one model that I dislike).

And I find it really healing to just know that I'm around other people who know what it feels like to have PTSD.

I've also started using my adblocker extension to hide pictures of the president elect, so I don't see his face, and that really helps.

I'm fucking trying to hard to block it out but that piece of shit cheeto overlord reminds me so much of not just one but several of the people who have made my life a personal hell and put this on me and I just

Can't

Like, I'm not strong enough. I don't have the will enough

Or maybe I don't have the support system enough

Probs the real reason but I'm too goddamn tired to fight and try

Another thing is that "normal" is really subjective. However you're reacting is normal for you, because you've had to deal with an extreme situation. Your reaction to weirdness isn't itself weird.

It's easier to curl up and go into a hole in the ground and be forgotten at this point

if it helps you feel less weird, my flashbacks have gone through the roof.

I'm sorry for that because I know how it feels having it myself

Like. I was wondering how and why I was able to get up so goddamn early for work but then I realized

And wow.... counter productive I suppose

Blocking the pictures on facebook is still helpful for me; it might not be for you, but I find controlling my exposure even a little helps me feel empowered

IDK. IDK what to do

I have access to super high quality therapy and what not but even with that I can't seem to deal with it

well, there's this: HOLY FUCK. THE FUCKING ELECTION.

I've even done that (blocking pics on FB) but man... I guess working in an environment that deals with the very real effects of what's going on is just. Shit. Troubling

Also recovery is not linear.

Heh lemme check out that video

backsliding does not negate the progress you've made.

D-d-d-d-d-d-done!!!!!!!!!!

Sigh, you know I thought that was the case but after having so many traumatic experiences realized and dealt with and supposedly grounded then being brought back.... damn

That progress is half then given how easy it is to go back on it

(also I kind of like this metaphor: we just lost a big boss battle. It hurts. We got some healing to do. And then we start level-grinding.)

And we go up against the boss again and maybe we lose again but we aren't where we were the first time. We pick ourselves up and have a potion and start level-grinding again.

...you know, I'm gonna try really hard to freaking pick that up

because honestly I'm losing hope here

and reason

and it's hard

I don't have a lot of people to talk to and confide in or a general support system

and in moments like these, I don't even know

I weep for freaking people I will probably never meet

because I give a shit

Oh if you have a therapist you trust ask about EMDR!

Sigh... I don't

All I've done is build a safe space but even that is really therapeutic

yanno I tried that but it doesn't even seem to work. IDK WTF is wrong but it seems like it takes too goddamn much to be worth fixing

This may not even be what the problem is but if it helps. Mine has no doors.

?

I mean my issue is that I am mistrustful of the entire universe (ya think >>; ) but like. Little silly details.

help me set the mood in coming up with a mental safe space.

Sorry that may have been unclear

No, I get it

Also helpful, heavy blankets. Seriously. It's the same principle behind deep pressure therapy.

I did not come out of my blanket fort for three days after the election.

(I'm throwing my coping mechanisms at the wall to see what sticks)

can you tell I've been hyper vigilant for two months straight 8D;;

THE MAIN POINT IS bossfight. Maybe restructure your party, level up with smaller fights. Try again. Rest at the inn if you have to.

Is how I'm thinking about it.

Heh, yeah... maybe that or get a really, really REALLY good therapist

to talk this shit over

because goddamn

it's a lot

not a lot of people can understand or appreciate what freaking PTSD means

oh same rules apply as with actual video games too: when you're frustrated with it, take a break and do something completely unrelated.

damnit. that is true

I have an amazing therapist but I did go through some real duds before I found her.

Sigh the most amazing therapist I had was just too damn expensive

I couldn't afford her and to live at the same time

so that's not terribly unusual. Frustrating, but the good news is I went through five people and more consultations than I care to count before I found mine.

You could ask her for references.

She might be able to recommend someone she trusts who you can afford.

That would be pretty sweet, actually

try giving that a shot! That's something concrete you can do.

I think I have to

I kind of should want to be around for whatever comes around

At this point I'm so below that it's pretty depressing ._.

i got overwhelmed andI checked for my state legislators and followed all of them on facebook. Granted mine are literally all democrats because massachusetts

Yay MA

I'm IL which voted blue recently but still, holy shit. Doesn't have any impact on the goddamn baloney trauma and stress and long lasting effects of what has happened to you means

Although if you want to keep up on senators from another state, obviousky Elizabeth Warren has risen ti prominence but our other senator Edward Markey is great too.

....Elizabeth WArren <3

That's completely understandable and I've been reading about therapists noting an uptick in symptoms from survivors of violence as far back as like, April.

Dude my shit is chronic like no belief, like, students in the psych field have asked to do studies on me and I'm like NO. BUT! Still.

this is an abnormal situation. No reaction you can have would possibly be normal, therefore basically anything is. try not to blame yourself for reacting to an abnormal situation.

which is easier said than done

Thank God I'm beyond blaming myself int his, but knowing that more than half of the country I live in is okay with it to some degree?

that's heart breaking

UGH. Yeah this is some shit I need to take to a professional

Getting paid to listen to it

Just over half the voters chose Hillary. She won the popular vote. she won millennials by a landslide.

Millennials are the ones who will eventually inherit this.

Yeah ._, it's honestly a perfect irony.

Isn't there a greek term for that?

and we're one of the most diverse generations ever.

We will do better. The reign of old angry white guys is coming to an end. They can see it and they're not happy. It sucks, and I don't want to undermine that, but I really think it's a death rattle

Goddamnit I really really REALLY hope that's true

I usually don't pray or anything but if any other time were to call for this, I am definitely praying that we will do better

my mother said to me and I think it's true

"We have to be better than we ever have."

It takes a strong person to be able to do that, and I hope we have a lot of those amongst our roster

I know I'm being insufferable here but ugh. GOD

sorry I probably shouldn't have responded when I was out and about and then not come back but

I think getting a therapist can really help but you need to remember that

not everyone clicks with the first person they try so if therapy isn't working for you

that might be the issue and not just that you can't do therapy or that it's not ever going to help

I think creating a support system can be really hard but it does help to have other people to talk to who have the same issue

and it might be really good to make an informal group for yourself or something

and please remember that losing progress or moving backwards because a new upset happens like this election

is not your fault and does not make you a weak person

that's... some pretty damn solid advice there. wow. it's difficult to get on board with that but man I gotta try starting with that

haha I wish I could offer more but really with this kind of stuff different things work for different people so

sometimes it can be hard to give specifics from a distance like that

but with your question about whether it's normal or not, I feel like in a way you kind of answered it yourself

because you talked about being one of the people contributing to the spike of hotline calls

there's a spike of hotline calls because it's absolutely normal to be triggered by the kind of bullshit happening right now

as someone who plays mentor to a lot of people, I've been absolutely swamped with other people's freak outs

this is a real issue. these are real problems. You are not alone and you are not broken.

it's almost funny how I try to tell that to other people when really I need to take that same advice

damn. thank you for reiterating it for me

you're welcome

in terms of specifically the suicide thing I can tell you what I do everyday

as soon as I get up in the morning I write a list of things I'm looking forward to that day

even little stupid stuff like something I'm going to eat or that I'm going to get to see a specific person

and if I don't have anything I immediately contact a friend and ask what they're looking forward to

and see if there's anything that I could steal or borrow LOL

I also try to stay involved in stuff that makes me feel like I'm necessary in the world to someone

I rather like that idea.

o/

Lol my friends are gonna be shellshocked at my "haaaay whatchu doin todaaaaaay?" messages but damnit

haha

That's a damn good idea/way to go about it especially with the uh hopeless feeling, helps push that back

it certainly helps me

like in my case I feel there are two different kinds of responses I get

if a friend is struggling, then I know that being part of their support system was a valuable part of my day

and if your friend is doing cool things and things are excited about and things that have positive influence in the world

then it reminds me that stuff is still out there

that people are still living life despite the shitty situation we're in and trying to move forward and that's valuable

and sometimes I hear about something that person is planning on watching or going to that day that I might want to do too

Well thank God I don't have that friend that had planned stapling themself later on in the day anymore....

Legit with a stapler

jeez

well yeah I mean you gotta know which people to ask

if you think it would help you, you could even try starting a plurk clique

where you just put the question out there and people tell you what they're excited about that day

I don't know I have kind of a list of people from school that I email, but since they do also count me as part of their support system a kind of serves a dual purpose

of checking on them while giving myself ideas on how to keep going

but then I'm also easily excited, so this really works for me because I can make it through a day on something as simple as

hey I'm going to go to this class I really enjoy or get to see a certain friend or have a nice meal

I'm kind of simple that way

Imma do this sort of thing. It's probably going to help that the new Pokémon comes out today....

THERE YOU GO

boom.. but thank you tho. really

no. thank you

<3 Leca said it better than I could so I'll just say I agree on all points

but something else I just thought of, this may help you or it may not, it's been helpful for me--my specific diagnosis is complex PTSD, or C-PTSD.

possibly triggery wiki article, lists situations where it tends to come up

the short version is repeated or continuous trauma.

It can have unique symptoms in addition to classic PTSD

like it's not recognized as an official diagnosis according to the DSM but my therapist uses it.

and I was like "well that explains some things"

I mean I read about everything, that's kind of my coping mechanism, and as Leca said different things work for different people.

This is true. I'll have to look into that. Man tbh I wonder if the med marijuana would make any difference or not versus pills which are so x_x to take

TEXT ME

I've been on it for a year and can speak with experience