From day one, I decided to take people in SL as they presented themselves. Male, female, bunny, robot- whatever. I feel like SL gives people the chance to be something they most want to be, and who am I to...

question that?

I don't get the issue. You be you. You do whoever you are today.

I've seen people insist on voice "tests" to determine gender, and those people are just weird to me. Why the hell do you even care? Just enjoy interaction in SL, and if things evolve further, then be openminded

I honestly don't care if someone is female or male or an alien or a dog in RL, i like the person for the person. I would LOVE if they trust me to let me know but that is not because it is important what gender

they are but because i love knowing the people who are important to me. I have a lot of friends who decide to express themselves differently in SL than in RL gender or even species wise and that's awesome

I'm in sl 65 percent as Scarp but also 35 percent as ArtCrash Exonar. when I friend someone, I'm right up front with that information. But some are troubled by this.

It's a deep-seated thing, like the first question your brain does with pattern recognition is decide is this shape human/what sex is it

so for a lot of people shutting off that innate desire to find the perfect mate/define themselves politically by their orientation is hard even in RP

I have a good friend who absolutely refuses to be in the same room with ArtCrash because she says that role makes me 'inauthentic'.

My best female friend in SL turned out to be a guy and he was so anxious about telling me but all I could say was "well-played, sir, well-played."

I have a long time friend that chooses to be female in SL, and a few years ago when she told me in RL that she was male, I didn't bat an eye. To me, she was who she was, and it really made no difference.

I have a male avatar that I change Skye into for pictures and such. I'll admit...he's cute. And since Skye can also be a guy's name, it's caused some confusion when I go out as him for shopping or whatever.

But I'm never deceptive, and the couple of times I've had women hit on me, I tell them to PLEASE look at my profile picture, and that I'm really female. That's gotten me told off more than once.

Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

I have learned over time that not being up front about running two opposite gendered avatars leads to trouble the more you get to know someone.

in 30 years of struggling with the question I think I've run through just about every variation of the trouble - except for the big one of actually going full-time transition in RL.

authenticity is something that will continue to plague our species for a long time to come, as long as you can't actually change your body completely a la the Culture sci-fi stories

Example of trouble: ArtCrash met this amazing person who is lesbian. She tried to seduce me, but there was no way I could ethically go there for her sake. I want to be her platonic friend, but would lose her

by fessing up. So I just don't contact her. This makes me sad.

I think you need to clarify for yourself whether you're explicitly doing roleplay - in which case your profile should say you're a character - or not, in which case it should be open about who you feel you

actually are.

easier said than done of course... the number of times I've had to change my mind about who I really was and what my avatar said about me are too many to count

Skye: I learned my lesson a few years back with a good female friend. ArtCrash and she were BFFs. We were close. I just HAD to come clean to her. When I did, she told me I broke her heart

Since then we made up. She told me she realized I was the same person and now she flirts with Scarp mercilessly.