testing out this personal plurk hoo yeah

so... I think this is one of those "I think it's about time that I talk to other people about my problems" things

mostly just to put my thoughts in order, get things out of my head I guess. make a battleplan.

so the depression and anxiety thing has been going up and down for a while... but ever since November-ish, I think my state has kind of been on a sharp decline

the last few months have just been... yeah

and I'm wondering if the fact that my meds have been working has made it harder to tell?? does that make sense??

my meds make it easier for me to break out of cyclical thinking... but they also make is easy to slip out of all other mental gears, I think

so I just have been idly noting signs that I'm getting worse and just brush it off, or I can't even really focus on the thought. if that makes any sense

SO I THINK I'm finally at the point where I'm like.... oh. you know, these are all bad signs. maybe I should... do something about it.

idk... I'm thinking this might be one of those "make some big changes soon or something bad might happen" situtuations

which sounds weird to talk about so offhandedly, but that's just kind of how I've been about it

yeeeah I think I might take next week off work as an art/mental- health staycation