I've just been completely useless today and I know I won't be able to pull myself out of this pit at all until I get this over with

otherwise Im just going to keep hiding

I just ghdkjfhjk my mind keeps going blank as soon as I try to write

idk

I wish I had a speech-writer

if this was someone else, Id be able to give them advice on what to say no problem

can you frame it in your head that you're giving someone else advice on it?

maybe...

the screeching in my head that feels like an oncoming panic attack keeps getting in the way ghjfdk

and saying that out loud

making me think I need to take some propranolol before I even attempt this

take some propranolol for sure!

okay :<

/sits with

you can do it. .... Apparently my phone thinks you can do tree. I totally should have left that autocorrect. bfnfn

but anyway. you could draft it and let someone else see it before you send? if that makes you feel any better

I can do tree

I might do that... or at least tell myself I will, which might make writing easier

right now Im trying to... anything

I think the propranolol is working because Im calming down, but it's easier for me to notice all of the crushing emotions going on in my head ghfdjk

...man, I really wanted to be able to knock this out and move on with my life, but

I think I need to wait until the girl comes home

I've managed to drum up the will and energy to stay in bed but work on a commission (THE STORY IS REALLY GOOD!!) so that might be what I do with my day