I've been tidying and washing most of the day, and I just... need to share this one from mother

I washed her clothes for her, I made her lunch, yada ya, y'know. She's not feeling so great and has vegged out on the sofa most of the day.

Whatever, fine, the stuff I've done for her has only been an extra few minutes of my time because I've been doing that shit for myself anyway

Twenty to four hits and she goes into panic mode because she realises two things

1. Stepdad is home soon

and 2. She's done nothing but sit on the sofa all day and I won't cover for her on this

So she rushes up to grab the vacuum cleaner and do a bit for herself while I'm pulling my clothes out of the washer to transfer to the dryer

And I take the two pairs of jogging bottoms of hers out and put them over the radiator

And what does she say?

"What wash did you use? My things never come out that creased!"

Proper passive aggressive like, because my preference for wash cycle is different to theirs

(For a big and important reason, the clothes I wash most often are my work ones, which come into contact with my sweat, and other people's urine and faeces fairly regularly, and sometimes vomit and other effluvia)

(A thirty degree wash cycle ain't handling it. Even if my uniform hasn't come into contact with someone else's bodily fluids, it's still got my sweat and deodorant all over it, and the coldest wash that removes the VISIBLE signs of this is a 50 on this machine)

(This has been the cause of multiple arguments because there's no reason for me to be washing anything but bedding and towels on any setting above forty, apparently, despite the fact that the wash I use is faster and uses less detergent)

But I was stumped man

Her clothes weren't especially creased, except for the bit where I hadn't pulled a pant leg straight and it had got washed that way. It wasn't like I'd rammed the machine to capacity and everything was creased into a ball by the end.

Who the fuck claims their clothes don't come out of the washing machine creased?

Okay, stepdad's don't because they're all that horrible football shirt material which couldn't hold a crease if you ironed one into it with a ton weight, but srsly

I told her to do her own washing next time if her wet clothes being slightly wrinkled is such a problem.

They're over the radiator, the wrinkles will drop out.

...

I'm mostly baffled at

"oh no, I feel shitty, weh weh" right up until dickface is set to return

She got shouted at yesterday and the day before because she's doing very, very little to take care of herself, or try and improve.

Monday we thought we might have to cart her in to hospital because her temperature dropped really low and she was cold and felt ill, and it's all signs of sepsis

And she has a big swelling on her back where fluid has built up under her skin, and it's warm to the touch, which could be sign of an infection

But she didn't call her doctor about it

She did nothing except sit there and suffer and then complain to us when we got home.

Well it turned out she'd eaten a banana and a bit of ham all day, and that was it, and after we made her eat something she perked right back up.

So she got fucking told for not doing even the basics to look after herself

Yesterday she set out to do the same

I got up, made myself a tea, and she comes into the kitchen and shows me her hands are shaking and she's feeling cold again

"Have you called the doctor?"

"No?"

"What've you eaten today?"

"Nothing."

"Fucking eat something then 8|"

"I'll have a banana."

I went off on her, because it's exactly the same bullshit she'd pulled the day before.

So today he left her with instructions to find some motivation, get up, and do something. Go for a walk, go and get her script from the chemist, do some moving about.

So, knowing that he's due home and when he asks what she's done the answer is going to be "Sweet FA"....

She's curled up on the sofa again now feeling sorry for herself

Because she dashed up to whizz the vac around in a hurry, so now she feels unwell again.

I'm just leaving her the fuck to it. If she ends up in hospital again because she can't be bothered to pour herself a bowl of cereal in the morning, I ain't going in with her.

I honestly think she's disappointed that post-mastectomy isn't the same as mid-chemo. She was expecting to be told not to so much as lift a kettle for six weeks, and instead it was "Get back to your normal routine as soon as you feel able, just don't go doing cross fit or the like for now"

So stepdad and I have taken a huge step back in how much we're actively doing for her.

Cue her bitching that she's had to wash pots and push a vac around at one point.

I'm refusing to make phone calls on her behalf any more because that shit pissed me off enough when she was going through chemo.

And now she's finding reasons that radiotherapy will also give her full time care needs.

And this shit is why the motto where I work is promote independence 8|

Least you're away for a week?

nearly, anyway

YUP

ha, yeah

maybe she'll get her shit together while you're not there to do it for her

(then again, maybe not)

but at least you'll get a break.