Awful Book Series: Updates!
You know how there was one non-evil gay/nonwhite person? Yeah, book 2 pretty much opened with them dead in a police car. I'm half-expecting resurrection of some kind since they're half of all I ever heard about from the tv adaption. But I guess we'll see.
christ
Srsly like all we've ever heard about him is he's flamboyant and then something about an orgy. I'm not even kidding.
Main chick also pitched a fit and got out of the car in the middle of nowhere because the vampire main dude boyfriend told her, 'hey I invested in this strip mall, if you need clothes/hair or nails done/or wanna eat in the restaurant there you don't have to pay'
lordy
Sounds about right.
I knew I was in for something with these, but...come on.
omg
what is this
... ...to be honest with you: The Sookie Stackhouse books by Charlaine Harris. I've also read the Midnight, Texas series - that's where I started.
cinnamon_anemone They are a special kind of special, but they're an easy read and make work go by quick.
Further Updates: We have yet another traitorous non-white! Because of course we do.
christ on a bike
/heavy sarcasm Only time will tell whether they add a(nother?) gay vampire to the death count.
what is even happening
Blahblahblah; There's this cult that wants to kill all the vampires. With the help of an old-ass vampire who wants to die they lured gay vamp in and captured him, are keeping him in the basement to publicly burn him in the sun. Our protagonist went in undercover with the boytoy of one of the vampires who are having her look into the missing vamp;
He turned out to be the traitor mentioned above.
She's kinda-sorta escaped at this point, but gay vamp is still in there, and they're pretty fond of killing people in this book so his fate is somewhat of a question mark.
They also shoved traitor-guy in with him, so he may or may not be lunch.
i'm
what
So...vampires came public; popular spin is that they're not undead at all, they've just got some really serious allergies to uh, the sun, and garlic and etc and IDR the spin on the blood-drinking thing. But there's synthetic blood and all that still.
Some people are still not very fond of them. In this case because of the unholy bloodsuckers thing.
Hell, there are people who operate by luring vampires in, bleeding them out into vials and killing them, then selling it to people because it's apparently one hell of a drug (and can also make you stronger/healthier).
Okay. Gay vamp was rescued offscreen while some werewolves drove the protagonist home and called her Milkbone, after a car chase and a collision + brief hospital visit.
There's a shifter network in the city apparently.
Well at least Gay Vamp is okay for now
He is, in fact, as I read now, chilling with a date and some synthetic blood.
loooord I'm done with the relationship issues in this book though.
Tell about those omg
Um, well, let's see. They're pretty simple, and pretty cyclical TBH. They, really, really, really like having sex since they started, and it seems like every other week they have a fight of some kind (See: 'Hey I bought these stores, you can have free stuff' /storms off') or something vampy scares her (him or not) and she proceeds to cold shoulder him
for up to like 3 weeks. Most recently he killed some of those cultists who literally opened machine-gun fire on a human/vampire party and pretty much killed half of them. After the three weeks they have abrupt sex when he shows up in her house waiting for her after they see each other at a sports game.
Of course his vampire boss also has a thing for her because she's so special and the protagonist, and her work boss also has a thing for her, and so far she's kissed both of them or been kissed by them with no real objection, and there's a human guy that she likes mostly cos he's so stupid he doesn't have too many thoughts to read, but she's gotten him
more or less hooked up with a doctor. Or is trying.
Yes, protag. Please invite the old-ass vamp with a serious thing for you to an orgy as your bodyguard I am sure this will not at all put you in his debt.
When you have at least two other people you could have taken. And b y all means don't let your currently on-again bf know. That'd be silly.
what fuck
well the plan is hopefully none, and she's trying to get old-ass vamp to pose as gay; the whole exercise is to get her able to read the minds of the people there to try to find out about the death I mentioned in the beginning of this post.
...at least old-ass vamp is as baffled she trusts him as I am.
...yes, okay, that's an excellent idea. This is going to go amazingly.
Invite the guy with a thing for you along to any orgy right after you've reconciled with your bf, don't tell him, and then make out with ancient dude as soon as you're there. GREAT IDEA.
There is also a lotta lotta sulking about how vampire-human marriage isn't legally hardly anywhere, 'not that he's asked (her)'
Currently: vamp bf is given top secret mission to do something. Is not interested in le sex right now. I think she's going to have a meltdown.
Dear book: Please to not have the Cajun werewolf dude be evil, or end up dead. Thank you. I am at this point reading to insure his safety and that of the random scarred up vet' who works at the bar sometimes. This has been a bulletin.
...and now she is mad because vamp ex?bf gave the descendants he found money she told him they needed, and did not give her money... when she was personally offended at being told she could get free shit in these places?
lady, he probably thought you'd stop talking to him for a month if he offered to pay for something for you for crissakes.
I believe this is the third time this book she's bemoaned he hasn't asked her to marry him despite the fact that she can't, he's currently missing, and the reason this time is she'd only feel right taking his money if they were married, because then everything A-Okay.
'Corinne, who was as plump and juicy as one of the sausages I'd cooked that morning' I think that speaks for itself.
Further updates: Cajun werewolf appears to be alive and not evil, but still, unfortunately a little bit of a dick. See: Hooked up with his ex, who is currently engaged to another man and who tried to kill a girl by locking her in a trunk because she thought they were together.
???
Okay. Vampire bf got kidnapped, girl went to find him. Oldass vamp helped by getting cajun werewolf, who owed him money, to export her to a supernatural bar and listen to people's heads to fight out where vamp bf was.
this has been one hell of a ride
She posed as his gf while they went to the bar, and butted heads with the e
who was actually having an engagement party to another guy at the bar that night)
who was actually having an engagement party to another guy at the bar that night)
A few nights later after the rescue is completed, she went to check on rescued vamp bf in the trunk and the ex pushed her in and closed it.
They also had to save vamp Elvis
Also I am like, getting so sick of urban fantasy being adventures in 'how much bodily harm can we inflict on main chick'
gross
This book she's been gouged in the shoulder, staked, and beaten by like five guys
Oh! Vamp bf also was kind of frenzied from a few days of starvation and torture when he woke up in the trunk with her and ripped out her throat a lil, drained the hell out of her, and forced himself on her. He was also two-timing her
Also getting so freaking tired of the inclusion of homosexuality for seemingly the purposes of brownie points /look how open-minded/out there x people are!
Oh. Or deviant. Can't forget that! Nevermind that 90% of stated gay characters are mentioned pointedly as having their interest in younger men.
n o p e
Did I mention the old-old-ass ancient roman vamp who'd been turned as a teen way back when, and preyed solely on children, and much gushing there was of how brave he was to kill himself after having been doing this for thousands of years?
And the very pointed linking of sex + feeding that's all tied up with a bow in this canon? And, yes, all the implications of the immediately above are implicitly spelled out in the text with that.
With the in-book pity far outweighing anyone's horror there.
Also main character's bro pretty much joking about the fact he's a homophobe. With narration confirming that yes, yes he actually is.
narsty
Oh yeah.
And then there's the vamp King of.. some state or another, Mississippi maybe? who's pretty much got playgirl mansion going on.
I'm pretty sure at this point addled, cat-drinking vampire elvis is the least problematic person around. Well, him and back-up worker at the bar, though I'm sure I'll find out he's a serial killer or something any book now.
why is this happening
this really makes me want to spite-write hawthorn
Aaaand that's book 3 down.
but is your cajun guy you're rooting for still okay lol
Oh, I mentioned that above.
He'd be the werewolf who ditched the main chick in a bar that was going freaking crazy, for initially good reason, then went and instead of figuring out what happened to her got busy with his ex whose engagement party was like the night before.
but that was before the thrilling conclusion!
And also claimed to have slept with the protag in the middle of a fight with the ex later in. Though he did apologize for that.
what series is the anywho?
...Sookie Stackhouse.
they have really good reviews
I started out reading the Midnight series because I saw something about Midnight, Texas (the show they made of it) and went, 'Hey, book series about tiny town or supernatural type people who've got each other's backs, family of choice stuff - sounds freaking awesome. Saw it was by the same person as True Blood (which I tried to watch a few times and never
got through one episode of really) and backed off.
Somewhere around here are some plurks of when I was reading those books when my curiosity got the better of me.
They're very readable, and addictive in an 'I can't look away from this trainwreck' kind of way.
oh no one of those
Yup. Went through three books in the Midnight series, realized I didn't actually have anything else better to read that I had easy access to work and...started on these.
I had a fanfic I read like 6 years ago or something that started out great but after like 6 chapters turned to shit and every time it updated I was just screaming at my best friend because what the fuck is even going on and after 15 weeks of this she unsubscribed me from it
bless her
Oh god. I've started reading a few of those.
I don't think I was ever bored enough to really finish them though.
Project Gutenberg nothing really current I don't think but they have tons of free ebooks
I told you, I'm a completionist. I will suffer through to the end
Oh no, I'm reading through this. It's popcorn reading, which is what I'm typically looking for here.
Plus I get to complain about it on the internet. xD Thank you though.
Anyway, I gotta watch out for the guy who cleans the bar and make sure nothing happens to him.
And I have my fingers crossed she'll get together with anyone but the main guy in this.
its like a soap opera
It really is. And I swear this guy has the least personality possible.
ugh nevermind I'm still worried about the idiot Cajun werewolf and now also his pack. 'this is bigger than I thought but I'm sure the pack can handle it' everyone gonna die
Aaand now we've got one, possibly two, dead lesbians to add to the body count. (And retroactively, an asian bartender that the main character aka the narration is unable to find trustworthy in really the slightest. The only one in the book, as mentioned specifically, and the only one she's ever seen.)
IDK but it kinda seems like jumping the bones of the vampire who's got amnesia and didn't remember his own name or anything before the previous 24-48 hours might not be... the best idea?
Especially when you're sitting there saying how you'd never do it if he had his own personality just then?
you started book 4?
Yup. Just that kinda masochistic I guess.
They've got a small town of in-bred shifters about ten minutes away?
Dear Book; I'm still a little skeeved at her using old-vamp for sex while he was amnesia. Her proceeding to not tell him anything about it when he forgets that period of time but remembers the rest again? For whatever reasons? Yeah, not helping.
grossssssss
Yuuup
Somewhere, there is a handbook for Urban Fantasy with female protagonists and in that handbook it says: Burn her house down (at least a little)
why is this happenig
I don't know yet.
Someone is also going around shooting shifters and weres.
And I swear, if it's vet' I'm done with this series.
Main dude also got really pissy because he found her about to get busy with her boss - despite the fact they are exes and barely even see each other any more. Because, the implication seems to be here, main dude was going to let her stay at his place after the fire, and seemingly had some plans for the evening >>;
Boss pushed him and he went crazy, full on attacked him and almost broke her wrist when she tried to get him off her (already injured, might I add) boss.
Also, just a note: the 'fantastical racism' as they call it, is getting pretty damn old.
..oh, hey, weretiger dude from Midnight, nice to see you. With this and the other evidence I've seen; New and/or interesting men who have no interest in fucking Sookie Stackhouse are probably evil.
ugh
I am going to keep this in mind as I keep reading. So far, it's a pretty good rule it seems. Only one exception to the rule, so far! Ahh, I see.
And dear lord I just realized I was combining these two series. You mean there's something out there with more of a carousel worth of supernatural for the protagonist to lust after? How even.
By the time I finish this series my appreciation for that one series is going to be up to like 500%.
/hums 'Another One Bites the Dust'
who died
Oh. Just traitor guy. Though I guess I can also add that the second mentioned native American character also just tried to (more roundaboutly) kill the protagonist. I was just signaling the end of book 5.
sighs
Did I mention at the end of the last book they killed off the Asian guy?
On top of that, did I mention the Asian guy was only ever referred to as that, and the only indications of more specific heritage were his name being 'Chow' and apparent full-body yakuza tattoos?
WHY
Your guess is as good as mine.
At least I'll have a way to torture myself when I'm done here
Well, currently shes mostly kissing like five different guys right now. XD point.
..oh, look, a vain, gay, literal fairy.
Presumably so that when he turns up the narrative can every single time go on about, 'no, really, an actual fairy.'
augh
I know, I know.
But look, fascinating news! The appearance of the first male who actually asked her out before kissing her!
..wait, shit, unless they kissed in that scene in the last book. NEVERMIND.
So close
...okay, I have a new favorite. She's been here, but she's my favorite.
old-ass vamp's lesbian second-in-command aka one of the only vamps around with a sense of humor. Context: Vamp bar has gone through three bartenders in like a year. First guy was embezzling then tried to kill the protag and got himself staked. Second guy was killed in a battle against some witches. Third was killed cos he was actually an assassin sent
to kill main chick.
They have a new bartender. second-in-command sent her to another city, to identify herself to the main chick because; "She said you had a habit of killing the bartenders of Fangtasia," [...] "She said I must come to beg your mercy."
Welp. We've got another death (a 'chocolate-skinned' half demon. Her white sister, of course, is so far fine) and discovered that main love interest dude was sent originally to keep tabs on main chick, 'seducing her if he had to' because the vampire queen wanted her and her mind-reading.
God
Yupyupyup O
I'm sure it's a matter of time until it's all 'oh but he really fell for her for realsies in the process!'
Question: Have I mentioned she has a fairy godmother?
wat
yup. The gay fairy's sister? Who's trying to become an angel and so was tasked with guardian-ing main chick to... IDK get enough Karma/EXP to level up.
More characters: Jade Flower. A possibly Vietnamese woman with your now stock chin-length hair that 'looks like it was cut with a rusty razor' and an actual freaking sword strapped to her back.
Who, btw, seems to not do much but stare at the protag with either contempt, or resting bitch face.
stop
What, finally had enough?
But I just found out that in one of the between-the-novels shorts there was an evil albino!
just like the da vinci code!
or the princess bride!
Or tooons of other things. It's an entire trope.
see this is why one of the most powerful characters in the book i'm writing is a nonbinary albino who's actually a huge dork
i love them
I've got a little bjd elf-girl who I've done all up to be albino because she was practically pure-white. Finally got her face-up put together, just need to get around to finding her the right eyes, since she's got temp ones in. She, frankly, looks like some little prince because the mohair wig's super super curly.
awwww
I'll get pictures once she doesn't have brown eyes in, which are kind of just an exercise in 'better than empty sockets'.
I've got some I think light purple with blue pupils or something like that I got for free at one point, I'll have to try to find those till I'm ready to spend the money; They'd be better at least. She's got the pointed ears anyway, so not being perfect should be fine
I love.....bjd......
I gotta bite the bullet and do Alec's scars this weekend
Same. Oh, I love doing scars, they're so much fun.
Maybe a little too much, considering I've got this little guy who's got a rough approximation of a music note of a burn scar on one side of his face, a dollshe boy who looks like someone tried to break his nose.. xD Used to have a boy with a big smokey gash done in part with elmers glue but he got sold cos Minifee are wonky.
Do you know what you're going to use for them?
Elmer's...it worked pretty well for Kitty's, tbh!
Aww, minifee
Cool. 
The thing to watch with elmers is that it can decide it wants to peel off. A Karsh. His name was Du'an, and I was super proud of him - he had an event arm and everything I themed that scar off of.
The thing to watch with elmers is that it can decide it wants to peel off. A Karsh. His name was Du'an, and I was super proud of him - he had an event arm and everything I themed that scar off of.
oooh
Kitty's scar's been on for a good long while but Alec's is gonna be a lot bigger, so...
Close to the resin-colored paint, and a little pastel can work really well too. Especially if you want more recent stuff; get the basic area with the pastel, and then just a little paint. Gives the texture without too much bulk, but you can layer, too. I'll see if I can find a picture of Du'an.
I've gotten a lot better than that. xD
Oh!!! I remember that event!!!
I really wanted one xD
Yeah, we got it and the head on the marketplace, and I snagged the arm for my lil demon boy.
Meh. My thread. XD
FAIR ENOUGH
I'm gonna try and do his scars tomorrow. The mark on top of them might be tough 
I don't think I have the right materials
I don't think I have the right materials
Watercolor pencil would be ideal but I don't think that and glue will be buddies
Anyway, other than finding out she has some fairy blood and being chased through a swamp is kind of Eh in the book right now.
Ah, nice. Do you have any kind of visual reference?
Ah, nice. Do you have any kind of visual reference?
No, you can't do much on top of elmers but some pastel
More of an idea aaahahaha
Wait how many kinds of blood does she have this is for science
I don't think that would look right, the glue isn't that clear...
yeah
So far human and fae and she's a telepath but she's drank vampire blood before
delicious mary sue territory
Oh yeah
Do you have any paint you could use?
Do you have any paint you could use?
Either for the marking or instead of the glue?
I do, I have warhammer paint
But I gotta use glue for the scar
That should be perfect if you have the colors you need.
You can paint over glue no problem.
I guess I could just water it down to get the ink-wash effect I want.
True. Something else you could do - you have the warhammer paints, do you have any thinners?
Gotta check...
You can actually use water-color pencil shavings and a little of the base stuff used to make the paints smoother to make a sort of more resilient watercolor.
Oooh
Seal the glue first, and that should work fine.
And, as always, experiment on the inside of a headcap to make surei t looks good on resin .xD
I got a pretty nice bit of color from it though.
(And one of these days i'll get to showing you little Erick's all-paint scar)
ooooh
Paint and I think maybe just a little pastel? Was put to excellent use, along with a little bit of gloss. Thing looks like it's scabbed and bleeding. Real pleasant. xD Poor little thing.
Awww
Alec's scar is an old burn scar :V
Ahh, I see. I'll definitely have to share then, because his is more a...recent one.
I gotta get a pic of Kitty's
Do.
Back on topic: If the vamp queen's second in command could remind me less of Anthony Marconi I would appreciate it muchly.
Why is this book
idk so far the traitorous king's mentioned minions are Jade Flower (above) and a black guy. Le sigh.
And yuup. Both now dead. Jade Flower literally only spoke once; to call the main a bitch and a whore. Very nice.
WHY
im taking jade flower under my protection now
TBH I don't even think there's enough there to. She glared a lot, carried a sword, cursed, and died.
so, me
like, reasons enough for me to like a character
steals her and makes her an oc
"Jade loves to wear the color red, which does not suit her well" I call bullshit I bet she looks great
Well there you go
..main chick, c'mon. don't make your new weretiger boyfriend sleep on the floor just cos he was too tired to lose the tail, that's just rude
aaaand here's main dude, 'I really loved you' take your drinks people
wow damn
also look you can't sleep with shifters and then get pissy when they don't change all the way back
if u fuck shifters ur a lowkey furry we all know it
And with that, we finish book 6.
Are we... okay. We're seriously doing a Katrina aftermath book. Gotcha.
OH NOOOOOOO. 