They've been away on holiday. I went food shopping with mother today...

She and stepdad have been talking while they were gone

About me

I can come back and live with them if I want

They'll give me the loft, both rooms, and carpet it and everything so I have my own lounge

If I give them a hundred pound a month and pay for my own food...

Well, it'll let me save up loads of money for a mortgage, won't it?

They've looked into it and it's only £5 a week to pay for a storage container to keep my stuff

My exact words, when she'd finished, were "I am pretty sure that if I moved back in with you, I'd end up killing one or both of you."

AHAHAHAHAHA seriously

"You're missing one major downside, which is that I'd have to live with you"

It'd be £100 and pay for your own food to start. Then the bitching about cooking and sleeping times would start... and they'd want more money...

You'd have to get it in writing that they not try to charge more and that no additional rules would happen. 8l

Dude, I would genuinely rather be skint for the rest of my life.

This offer is being framed as doing me a favour.

No way in hell, no thank you.

It was bad enough when they needed me there.

Doing ... you a favour? ...

Yeah, this offer was made on the grounds of helping me save for a mortgage.

Um, nah.

I'm good, thanks.

Mother seems to think that if I moved back in with them and paid them £100 a month, I can save £25k in 18 months.

More like they want £100 a month to put away for holidays, their internet and TV bill paid and the occasional "you only pay £100 a month becayse we're so nice, you can afford to give us a borrow you'll never get back."

I don't even get paid that in 18 months, so nah.

I don't get £20k in 18 months, even. Definitely nah.

That's... yeah, pretty much it.

They're living without the safety net.

Are they still unaware that you want to fly south for the rest of time and not stay in the frozen wastes of the late 80s timewarp..?

It's also because of your mom's job situation. They're screwed and wishing they'd not driven you away with their raging bastardry

I honestly have no idea, dude, but the next place I live is gonna be down there, or at the very least, a reasonably commutable distance from there. It sure as shit ain't gonna be back in my parents house.

WELL

Yeah, she has the "But what if I get finished on health grounds" worry.

But yeah, that was a hilariously obvious "we really want the extra money, so we're going to come up with bullshit reasons why this would be great for you" case