So last year (around October), I had the two weeks from hell. I was let go from the film I was working on at the time (which only meant missing a week and it was for budgetary reasons but I still took it very personally), I super injured my shoulder (which I'm still in physical therapy for and initially had to take muscle relaxants for just to sleep),

one of my precious cats developed a urinary blockage and had to be rushed in for emergency surgery and then kept for three days for observation (and swapped between normal vet and emergency vet for overnight every day) - which was not only horrifying and gut wrenching, but also wiped out my work savings (that was supposed to get me through the end of the

year), and my car of 11 years died.

I had no film work (and began having a crisis about not getting work), I was in pain most of the time, I was constantly stressed about money, and the holidays were just generally awful. I got to one of the most depressed points I've ever been (and the worst within the last decade) and kind of fell apart to the point where I realized I very truly needed

professional help again (this was aroooooound March, I want to say? April?)

In May, I started on medication through my doctor (which I've always avoided personally because I feared being reliant on something but which I needed at that time and have found to be ridiculously beneficial), who suggested I see a psychologist. Started therapy. Found good psychologist who tried new meds that actually helped (lolol lexapro was awful).

Decided I needed to take a break from film to focus on recovery for awhile (which, of course, is when I received 6 offers in 2 weeks after barely working for 6 months).

And that's pretty much been my whole year. I'm still doing the publicity job (and picked up another company doing the same thing basically) and have started freelancing for a company in Boston doing subtitling.

I'm on meds for depression and anxiety (with other anxiety med as needed). Oh and then I was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder in August, I think. The diagnosis is fairly new (as is the awareness and path to recovery), but I'm pretty sure I've had it for most of my life. >>; So I'm on a medication for that as well (who knew? but it really helps).

(lol it's an ADHD med and a form of speed so it definitely makes me more distractable, warning you now)

Oh and I saw my dermatologist (I have one now; thanks, Obama) and she told me I have (1) keratosis pilaris, which is why my legs are always bumpy and it is not, in fact, my complete and utter failure to be a girl, so that was nice and (2) polymorphic light eruption (which is the coolest name ever), which is why I get a rash when I'm in the sun.

It's been a very medical year full of mental exhaustion and struggles. I'm still not 100%, tbh, but I'm working on it. Oh and I got a shiny new (used) blue car that I'm very happy about. C:

Also I'm pretty open about what I'm going through if anyone wants to talk about their situation or ask questions or anything like that. Please don't hesitate. I've gotten lots of great advice from a lot of professionals and am always happy to share.

you have been through a hellstorm of a year. thank you for sharing what's been happening, and I'm so glad things are improving

sealrat: Thanks for saying that. It means a lot. <3 I've been fairly quiet about everything in the ~real world~ (by which I mainly mean my professional worlds) and it's nice to be able to be honest about it without fear of judgment.

Wow, i'm so sorry that the year was hard, but I am so glad that you are doing better and feel good enough to tell us about it.

Man I'm so glad things are looking up! you sounded so tired and sad before, and I know that often that hardest bit is getting the energy to take a first step and commit

I've dealt with disordered eating myself, and it's really not easy to talk about, there's so much stigma around that and other mental health challenges so way to go you for being open here <3

wow. that sounds like a lot of stress. but i'm glad you've learned so much about your health and how to help it <3 hope it just all continues to get better.

I'm sorry that things have been hard, but I'm so glad to hear that things are looking up for you! I hope things continue to improve!

i too am sorry to hear that things have been so hard :c but i’m glad to see that things are taking a turn and i hope they keep looking up!

Thanks friends! I definitely missed the support of all y'all.

words cannot express how much all of this makes me want to hug you. both in the 'wow things have been crap that's terrible' way but also the 'look at you, you fantastic human being, you took logical and reasonable steps towards help and took advantage of the help and I can definitely hear how you're in a much better place just from this plurk and'

thank you for having the courage to talk about this, basically. you're awesome. you're just. you're awesome.

I am so very glad to see you, and I am glad that you are taking the steps to feel better and to be good to yourself. You're amazing and awesome. <3

sealrat: Agreed. I'm still a little weird about calling it an eating disorder because it is in the DSM but it doesn't feel as serious or life threatening as anorexia or bulimia??

My struggle with disordered eating might be as bad, but the worst that happens is I gain more weight (versus dying or destroying my esophagus). idk. It's hard, as I'm sure you know.

Amaraq:

schematise: Yeah, I don't think I even realized how bad it was in the middle of it, or how much it was affecting every part of my life. Thanks for sticking around. <3

Amaraq: And thanks for saying all that. Sometimes I forget how much progress I've actually made in the year when the day to day is so finicky

so much progress. I'm proud

gathers you up, i am sorry about the year from hell but i'm glad things seem to be turning around now!!!

communism: