my brain is often productive with bad juice production if I'm still awake past midnight and it's a tough thing to shake off when I'd easily have a breakdown at every little thing. but you know what? lately I've been able to derive my crying from over questionable negative thoughts to over gratitude for all the kindness I've been receiving 
I think it's a huge improvement that my brain can steer itself out of the swamp now before I'm in too deep. part of it is definitely due to my own effort, I'm trying to recognize that to raise my self-confidence, but of course I could get to this point thanks to the help I have received from many people
on my birthday, a friend told me, "thank you for being born." I cry thinking about it every time, thinking that someone out there does appreciate my presence. I can't contain how I wish my friend could feel the same way as I do right now, that I'm just as thankful for her. I'm a wreck sap now ahah 
anywho, I wish I could give out more support, verbal or action or both, to the people around me in case anyone in the need of extra push to betterness 
