I’ve been in a low-magic campaign for over a year and a half now and it’s GREAT but also SO AWFUL at times otl

The jist is 200~ years ago the world was overwhelmed by demons/devils/fiends who managed to kill off a lot of the traditional D&D races and then cut off the celestial plane almost entirely. Humanity was cursed with an inability to remember their own history and the gods can’t reach us to correct it.

Evil Powers-that-be have hunted almost all magic to extinction, so the Bard and I went in eyes open as players knowing we’d be capped at level 3 spells and the bard had to make a bunch of checks against his magic because he’s from a world where arcane users get killed for learning cantrips.

Now here we are, 10th level, powers unlocked bc we reached the last place in the world where the curse didn’t take hold, getting ready to venture back out into the world and kill a God King.

My cleric just wants to build shrines and spread her zealotry, and I get cock-blocked by Stone Shape being a 4th level spell instead of 3rd otl

I can cast level 4 and 5s now, but because the magic comes from the divine plane I have to punch a hole through the curse barrier to access it. And I can do that. But it’s like putting your phone brightness on max and checking it in a dark room. Every demon will know where I am. They already know WHO I am. They’re not fans.

I JUST WANNA BUILD MOTHER BEAR STATUES AND PLANT FLOWERS AND LEAVE GOLD FOR THE POOR

iM SO ANGY

Maybe it's time to learn to whittle and make smol wooden bears instead!

ainez is the opposite of Morth ok mister “I pray a bit then take a nap”

I was actually thinking of bugging the bard to take Enlarge/reduce since we have a bag of holding lol

“It’s only 100 pounds of stone bears what’s the issue? It’s for the greater good!”

I’m gonna make the shrine thing work somehow bc the DM and I keep butting heads and it’s gr8 worldbuilding

“The temple is filled with gold and jewels”
“Oh fuck that we’re gonna make changes”

Naela is the goddess of love, protection, and life and her avatar is a Fuck Off Mama Bear

My cleric also got completely torn to shit over her wedding clothes it was hilarious. She’s Fantasy!Turkish so think of all your favourite Desi/Arab/silk road aesthetics and that’s her background. But she took a vow of poverty. And the NPCs keep telling her that vow is invalid now that she’s following a True Goddess

“I can’t wear perfume that’s illegal >:0”
deep breath “HONEY.”

no one can stop her from taking the vow again ok listen she saw a lot of demon priests take coppers from widows and starve orphans she’s got issues with wealth disparity

I love her

I’m now screaming for a different reason

My dm bless him is very good with numbers but not so with descriptions, so over the last few months we’ve had an NPC with us who is “tal, handsom, good at killing things and sweet on [cleric]”

He’s a barbarian merc from the north which is a blend or Norse and Inuit, but getting an actual what-does-he-look-like description has been impossible

Finally, this Sunday my cleric married him, and I forced the DM to please just once describe what my husband looks like. Hair colour. Does he have a beard. Am I marrying Thor? What’s the deal.

He’s got the sides of his head shaved like a Mohawk and he’s more Inuit and dark skinned than a Norseman, though he’s got very pale blue eyes. He also has a beard and his hair is black, the beard is trimmed to a point

Bc he’s a barbarian monk he’s only very lightly armoured.

I just found this on pinterest and I’m fucking howling

freestarisis - Professional, Digital Artist | Devian... source

I MARRIED -2CHA SOKKA

LMAO

THE MAN LITERALLY WAS UNABLE TO PROPOSE VERBALLY AND DID NOT SPEAK TO HER DIRECTLY UNTIL THEY WERE ACTUALLY AT THE ALTER

He’s so stupid it took until she showed up in a silk gown and amber jewelry to click “oh shit she’s a noblewoman she’s said this MULTIPLE TIMES”

I love him omg

So like

She hired him by insulting him

water tribe askiri mercs value combat and being a man’s man, so the fighter in our groups decided to hire an askiri by just rocking up and punching him. The cleric and the bard did not like this method.

But the merc just. Flattened the fighter. Beat the complete shit out of him. It was the first time that player had a crit-fail streak. The rogue jumped in to help (extra cringe) and got beat down by the merc’s sister. Our level 6 party was obliterated.

I love hearing about other people's games

Our game is really good okay especially since the fighter and the rogue left so now it’s ALL RP ALL THE TIME

So yeah. You have these two assholes rock up and get their teeth kicked in. And their wholly embarrassed Bard and Cleric just. Break open that cask of mead we brought. Just. Pour it all out there. Yeah, everybody have a drink! Sorry for ruining your afternoon.

But we did actually need a mercenary.

So my 5’0 cleric pulls herself up. Goes to the Goliath that still has his foot on the fighter’s head. “We’ll pay you 500 gold to [outrageously dangerous mission into hobgoblin territory], and 500 gold when you get too scared to continue.”

>:/

Guess who still hasn’t been paid his extra 500

guess whose fiancé teased him at the alter about giving him his gold if he wanted to run

pffft

Looool

I still can’t believe I married Grumpy!Sokka dhdhdjsbxna

I totally can

Her thought process the entire time around him has been “ofc he thinks I’m pretty I AM and I’m also the only human woman he’s seen or is going to see for the next three months”

oh my god

“You’re beautiful”
“Correct”

fuckin bless

The closest he’s ever come to saying “you look not ugly” is “you’re prettier than I remember”

tfw the handsome Sokka-esque man who has been protecting you, watching out for you, shielded you from witch hunters and was there when your companions were written out brutally murdered.... just up and leaves bc the job is done

There was a point where we were in a dungeon looking for an heirloom from the Bard’s family and my cleric wouldn’t settle down and rest bc RUNES and CARVINGS and HISTORY do not-Sokka just... took her notebook away. He sat on it. He wouldn’t give it back.

By the time the monk stole it back I’d failed a con save and fallen asleep. He was choked bc “she almost DIED she needs to REST” not my fault I got crit for 45 damage

bfjvjf babies

My friend the monk was bored and looking up “Gold Wedding Dresses” and she

this this this is what my cleric wore to her wedding like this except with pearls and amber but this

The poor girl tho they got married had the wedding night and he had to leave the next day for a war campaign :^)

It was so great bc the proposal went so weirdly and her family situation is awkward so people just... assumed... she would wait until after the first round of fighting and they’d marry next fall.

“But if everyone agrees and everyone is here and he might get killed (do not get killed) then we should do it now.”

I’m the first human Paladin in like 10 generations I have magic to learn, history to absorb, tactics to manage, a God King to murder, and a zealous crusade to lead (hopefully with my own cult!). Marriage? Hmmm... how does tomorrow sound?

His proposal was. Bad.

I loved it. It was a dumpster fire. Top 10 Worst Proposals

His thoughts: aha I have completed the quest she gave me but also learned the meta plot of this campaign. I will go to my people and bring an army to assist her! And I will leave a betrothal gift with her while I make an abrupt goodbye after a terrible battle with evil demons.

Her thoughts: we’re all still bloody and filthy from that tower and he just jumped on a horse without even resting. Okay. Fine. FINE. He was just a hireling. I’m not hurt. This is what mercs do. I’m ok-WHY IS THERE A HANDMADE BEJEWELLED TOKEN IN MY NOTEBOOK I HATE HIM THIS IS AWFUL WHY DID HE LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING I [sulking breakdown]

2 months and at least 2 assassination attempts later
“You’re wearing it publicly that means we’re married”
“I’m what you huh we but what this ha????”

The dm has not promised any plot-armour for my Knock-off-Sokka spouse

But I do know he didn’t die in the first campaign bc we’re doing a year-long timeskip and he confirmed at the end of last session that we reached fall, the fighting is winding down for winter, and not-Sokka just arrived back at the city we’re in

I have to not-nauseate the party with how fucking delighted I am by EVERYTHING about this pairing so GUESS WHAT PLURK

Hozier is so dangerous

the signs of over-investment : )

Time to write out an argument for the construction of a Hobgoblin shrine in the Halfling homeland bc I clearly have nothing better to focus on rn

oh my god

listen this game has even pushed Luhn and Fasha out of my brain there’s no saving me

bothers her dm on a Wednesday :^)

In my Defense he’s a massive CR nerd and critter and does go-fund-me’s and treasure boxes so it’s not like he isn’t on dnd reddit every break anyways