Is it just that time in life where everything just unravels around you and you just feel a need to take a step back like woah there..

I learned ovarian cysts popping inside without warning feel like a 12 gage shotgun blast to the midsection. Fuck that noise. Also learned I have a kidney stone in my left kidney, so I've got THAT to 'look forward to'

I learned my ex stepson (now 22) is a pedophile and was arrested for child porn. It wasn't accidental. He sought it out. Trials in Aug.

I learned my ex husband doesnt think he was/is part the problem of his son being a sicko. He believes that because he (allegedly) no long has photos and videos of me he took while I was under age that that makes the fact he took and traded those items extensively in the past null and void some how.

He was a self proclaimed sex and porn addict. He went to therapy for it. Twice. It, along with the gas-lighting, mental and physical abuse is one of the many reasons we split. However nothing changes the fact i was 16 he was 21.

I learned his father, along with being a general slag human, was not only a womanizer, but a predator as well. Ex learned this when after his father died he had to take care of his estate and found not so good things...

I learned that a friend that blamed his father for his parents divorce 30 some years ago has recently been reconnecting with his father also. And has now learned the actual reason for the divorce.

His mother accused his father of rape then reneged on it saying she never did. Why this is MAJOR? His mother found a skin mag one day and went ballistic at him claiming he was a predator and that she now feared HE would RAPE HER.

His own mother ladies and gents.

So, all the hate and pain he's held all these years and been miss directed..

But it makes SO much sense now..
Spent the night talking that friend down..

Spent today reconnecting with my very first best friend.

She was pregante at 11. Her mother was a whore. Her father not in the picture. She had all odds against her.

Shes been a social worker for 12 years. Shes a strong queer woman and so very powerful. She's very involved with her son, and he is a beaming gem in the world <3

Last night a local friend texted me. She was having a bad night. I suggested she come for a smoke. So her and her bf drive over. At 1am.

She tells me, when i made the suggestion she heard my mom in her head telling her she HAD to come.. And I'm just like... Wut?

Also Today is Mom and dads 41st wedding anniversary were mom still with us.

This month has been OOF to say the least.

just imagine that pupper is hugging you and not my kid there.

PUPPER IS LOVE!! <3 <3 <3

He's a good pupper.

I want a pupper ^_^ one day!!

one day!!