The surgeon even said she had a 97% rate of successful and pretty complication free surgery and recovery. The surgery usually only takes about 2-4 hours. After each of those time marks I still had not gotten any word and each time i called the hospital they said she was still in surgery.

After 8 hours of surgery the surgeon finally calls me letting me know they are STILL working on her. When they opened her up they decided to put in a larger valve than originally planned because her's was smaller than they thought. While doing that the right side of her heart failed.

They have put in a few assist devices that are working in place of her heart at the moment. I called for an update today and nothing has really changed. She is laying there completely sedated with her chest still open as they have to go back in a day or so to remove the assist devices.

I am feeling guilty now like we pushed her to do the open heart surgery because it's generally the better option and would give her the better quality of life. But there was another option of just going in through an artery and placing something in to open her valve back up a bit. It would not last as long and would not give her as much quality of life than

the open heart surgery. But now if she dies from the open heart surgery... at least with the stint, she would be alive even for just a few more years. I feel like I dropped her off to her death.

Cause that's the other thing, because of the fucking pandemic no one but the patient is allowed in the hospital. I know i can't do anything for her and they would not let me see her with her chest still open and I know she knows I would be there if I could, but i feel like I have just left her for dead by herself.

Oh honey, that is not true

really try not to torture yourself like that, I know it's easier said than done but your mom is her own person and she could have put her foot down about the surgery, even if you pushed her you did it because you love her and you want more time with her

I'm so so sorry you're going through this I'm sending some good thoughts to your mom. What are the plans after they take the assistive devices out?

I'm so sorry you're going through that, but everything aut said. I'll send all the best healing her way.

After they take out the devices it's hoped that my mom's heart will be able to take the strain. They put them in when she started having trouble during surgery. They completely take over the functions of the heart so the heart can rest.

Crossing all my fingers that it all goes well tomorrow <3

You did not do anything to your mom! Please don't think like that. I hope her surgery turns out to be sucessful in the end!