OK SO BUN SIGNED US UP FOR THIS INVESTING THING AND I DON'T KNOW A DING DANG DARN THING ABOUT IT

i know actually nothing.

he signed up for a friend

and i'm losing my mind because i didn't sign up for this

and he just. 'you aren't working so find the paperwork he needs'

I am trying to rationalize things in my head and cool but I just want to yell into the void

i'm not working because you and i both agreed that maybe right now would be a good time to lay low. I QUINTUPLE CONFIRMED BECAUSE I FEEL BAD.

i took up cooking!! i clean a bunch. i'm going to therapy?? I'm trying to figure my life out and

he signs up for this, has the first meeting on his own

d then says 'we're doing this together' and THAT IS NOT NOW I LIKE TO DO THINGS.....AND THE PRIMARY REASON I STRESS OVER NOT HAVING A SET PLAN

my therapist says "Investing is good!! A good plan." and MAN I KNOW IT IS BUT

BLAGHH LIKE......I AM NOT AGAINST INVESTING

i am against being pushed into situations where i will be primarily responsible!!!

I am against being pushed into situations that I HAVE LITTLE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT where I will be the go to person.

it makes me anxious!! am I a dummy?? am I a moron?? I'm not. I just have always filed my taxes through a company, and now they're filed for me due to mom and dad's passing through my uncle which was basically a commandment

i couldn't do my taxes now if i tried because LIFE IS HECTIC AND CRAZY AND MY UNCLE JUST.....IT JUST HAPPENS AND I JUST LIVE HERE.

and bun. bless him. sweet bun. is a dumb. i dislike him right now.

i'm just. hnnngh. i'm overwhelmed. i'm overwhelmed by being overwhelmed because i feel stupid.

why am i getting worked up over something like this??

i just sent a text three miles long and i am judging myself harshly pre-anyone elses judgement

bun called me earlier to say that we might need to reschedule, and i was like "ok, that sounds good." i just didn't put it in my calendar with everything that happened last week

and then group text with friend like "hey, what do we need?" and between the 3 of us figured it out. friend was like 'ok we good!! see you this afternoon!"

i texted bun like "yo, we rescheduled??" and he was like "yeah, but we could do it, so if you don't want to do it just let him know and we'll reschedule."

c o o l

confrontation. idiocy. self-loathing. meanwhile, i look like i just crawled out of a hole in the ground and the meeting is in an hour. bun's phone is on 10% because his battery is bad

I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING OF NOTE TODAY

and it isn't the end of the world. and rescheduling something is ok.

it's alright to start the day with not a ton of spoons. you're not trying to be a failure. you aren't a failure.

you have the opportunity to take days like these and breathe through them.

you don't have to type a novel to feel understood. bun isn't trying to be rude, he just needs you to talk to him.

you ate a crab salad for lunch today and it was lovely. the internet on your computer works!!

you have 3 cats on your bed who have been with you since you settled back into bed at 7am.

it's beautiful outside right now. you picked up a 3 month supply of your medicine yesterday and it's next to your bed because you remember to take it when you're looking at it-- and taking it makes you feel a lot better.

you have lovely friends who support you. and you deserve to have nice friends who support you. everyone does.

if they get frustrated because you've rescheduled twice, then they will keep it to themselves. and if they don't say it to you, you don't have to worry about it.

if bun gets frustrated, you just have to remember to tell him how you're feeling. he will still love you at the end of the day.

even if he's frustrated, he'll still love you. it's ok.

it's ok to be anxious. it's ok to be doubtful. just remember that it passes. sometimes it takes longer than it feels like it should, but it'll pass.

just gonna play some final fantasy for now. it

it'll be good. it's all fine.

bun just called and he's gonna get a new phone which is fine since we've been budgeting for it. he isn't mad.

we were upbeat and positive and happy and he wasn't mad...

so. so there, anxiety. it's fine.

investor friend also texted and said rescheduling is fine. so.

>:C SO EVERYTHING IS FINE

LAYS HERE AND PLAYS VIDYA

proud of you for working through all that even if you feel like you got run over by a Llama