So first of all, work!

It’s honestly amazing. I lost my job on October 5th. As of today, I have two new jobs. It’s just an absolutely bonkers story that really comes down to a series of coincidences so improbable that if you saw it in a movie you’d roll your eyes at how unrealistic it was, LMAO

It was serendipity in motion. I still can’t quite believe it all happened, and I’m the one that lived it.

It’s a wild story, but what it boils down to is that I am now working for this amazing LA power couple, laughs. I’ll be an employee for each of them respectively, as they both run their own businesses.

The wife owns a successful fashion brand, and the husband is a director and producer who isn’t necessarily a huge Hollywood name or anything--but he’s definitely the real deal.

I don’t want to name names in a public plurk, but maybe I’ll go more in depth in a private plurk or something.

anyway, for the fashion brand I’m going to be social media manager. For the director...

I’m not sure how to describe it. He used the word quarterback, I used the word overseer, what it boils down to is he’s putting me in charge of ALL of his marketing, in charge of both his personal marketing team and his relationship with the major firm that helps market and distribute his films. I’ll be the one calling all the shots at the highest level.

It is absolutely terrifying. I don’t even know what title I would give this position! All the descriptors I’ve come up with do NOT do enough to capture the scope of how much work I’ll be doing, holy shit.

I am never going to have free time ever again is what I am saying. LAUGHS

And I’m just ... jesus, hitting the ground running. I start officially tomorrow. And I already have scheduled a three hour meeting tomorrow afternoon, and another meeting Thursday morning where we sit down with the publicity firm to revise their marketing proposal. I’ll also be starting work right away on the website for the fashion brand.

holy jesus

that's incredible

Well congratulations

In two weeks I’ll be on-site for a major photo shoot for the brand and helping make decisions about what content we want to have--what photos we want, what video we want, etc, I will also be helping make the actual decisions there.

sammywhatammy: YEAH. YEAH? YEAH. ITS. A LOT?

IT SURE FUCKING IS?????????

Intercession: tysm dude!

sammywhatammy: yeah I have been. absolutely losing my shit all day.

i don't blame you in the slightest, my god

like I keep vacillating between excited and terrified and EXTREMELY STRESSED OUT hahahaha

the, uh, the wildest part may be my compensation. all three of us are sitting down tomorrow to finalize what my compensation will be, but there’s a good chance it will be nearly double what I was previously making.

That definitely isn’t a guarantee, and it’s also possible I’ll actually make less. Kinda is going to depend on what they think this work will be worth, and how good a case I can make for how much I think it will be worth.

Regardless, it is a massive step up in every way from the work I’ve been doing the past six years. This is not even remotely in the same league. It’s not on the same PLANET.

and believe it or fucking not this all came from my Craigslist post. craigslist.

life is weird.

anyway, that’s only one of two major things that have happened to me in the past few days!

I saw a rheumatologist today because my surgeon wanted me to in advance of my surgery in a couple months. I did something called a nerve induction test, which is basicallyyyy a test to see how well your nerves are working.

And, for the very first time: we discovered there are issues. We have definitive proof the bulged disc in my back is pressing on my spinal nerves. I have sciatica.

What THAT means is that not only am I definite candidate for surgery, I now NEED to get it done, because if we leave it alone, we run the risk of permanent nerve damage if the disc begins pressing on my nerves hard enough to impact my motor skills.

My surgeon had decided prior he thinks it’s time to operate, but with the issue I’m experiencing 9 times out of 10 doctors won’t operate unless the disc is actually pressing on your spinal nerves. That’s why I was refused by another surgeon about two years ago.

So even though my doctor wanted to do it, we didn’t really have a smoking gun yet, and the possibility existed he could change his mind.

That is now ... off the table. Completely. If I have sciatica at 32 years old, I need surgery.

It was like an 80% chance of happening before, but now it’s 100%. From here all that needs to happen is figuring out how to schedule it, and how to get my mom out here.

Because this will be a MAJOR surgery. And I’ve actually never had a major surgery before, believe it or not, even with FIVE surgeries under my belt.

What I mean is, I think all of my other surgeries (except the one on my nose) were laparoscopic. Basically, minimally invasive, as surgeries go. Small scars. Etc.

This ... is not that. We’ll be replacing two discs in my back with artificial ones and then performing spinal fusion, as far as my understanding goes.

The recovery is going to be BRUTAL. I absolutely CANNOT get this surgery while living alone because I simply won’t be capable of taking care of myself during that kind of intensive recovery. I have to have a caretaker.

So it’s going to be a whoooole production getting mom and her boyfriend out here safely.

And there’s one other major problem. Blood tests are showing I have a very high level of inflammation in my body. (I always do.) However, it apparently isn’t safe to operate, especially an operation this intensive, when your body is already inflamed.

So I’m going to have to go on some really hardcore medications to bring the inflammation down enough to make surgery safe.

I think it’s going to be biologics? Folks who were in my life back in 2014-2015 may remember. Back then we were still treating me for arthritis, and I was taking biologicals. They have a specific function very different from other anti-inflammatories, etc etc. What matters to ME is that, well, biologicals have to be injected.

So basically I get to go back to my life of stabbing myself in the thigh with a needle pen once a week

At least it’ll give me an excuse to buy all kinds of cute bandaids again.

And that basically covers it! Things are just fucking insane rn between my new employment and the health revelations of the past... day. Wait. Today. It’s only been today I was just at the doctors office twice. Holy fuck time isnt real.

So I’m kinda just. like.

[vibrates intensely, forever]

anyway uh that’s my story.

Oh, I had one other thought. If it does turn out that I have a ridiculously higher income working for these people...

... I want to repay everyone who donated to help me. Not literally, as I don’t even remotely want to throw people’s generosity back in their faces. Everyone was so incredibly fucking kind and I’m still so grateful.

once I have the funds, I think I’m going to do my best to approach EVERYONE who donated, and ask them what their charity of choice is, and donate to it. And I want to give a substantive sum. It’s ... ambitious, to say the least, but if I make enough to afford it...

YOOOO MY DUDE THJS IS WHACK AND I LOVE IT

I want to give $1,000 to charity in honor of everyone who helped me. I hope I’ll be able to.

Something in the universe is looking out for you

Which it should!!!! Because you're an incredible rad person and deserve good shit

vaulkner: YEAH GOD I WAS GONNA PING YOU TO SEE THIS I might still call you anyway because all the details of it are still just. really crazy? but yeah this is what I’ve been talking about lol

PLS

YEAH SERIOUSLY? IS GOD REAL? DOES HE LOVE ME? WHATS UP WITH THAT???

I'm just here murdering stuff in hades so whenever you feel up to it

Universe said LET THERE BE ONE GOOD THING IN 2020

ok first of all

i am entirely unsurprised you immediately found the best job ever bc you're awesome like that

(i really hope it continues to be awesome and that they pay you ALL THE $$$$$$)

second of all im sorry to hear that the spine stuff is gonna be a hassle but. im sure you'll get through it even if it's crazy!!!

WOW that is one heck of an update but I'm so happy for you re: the jobs!!

crepusculae: aw sweetheart! the “first of all” made me laugh and then you had to pivot to be all SWEET N SHIT

seriously though that’s lmao baw thank you so much for saying that

wrt the back stuff... you know, like, yeah the hassle with the biologicals is going to suck. And, technically, having sciatica at my age is... bad.

But I ...

holy fuck this is the most you thing that could occur

... am actually really happy?

THE BEST NEWS ON TOP OF TERRIFYING NEWS AFTER A BAD SITUATION

I mean, that makes sense? Now you have a definitive answer and a solution

I finally have PROOF something is WRONG WITH MY BODY. No one can tell me anymore I’m not a candidate for surgery, or that we can only treat the symptoms because there’s nothing to fix, or ... whatever. Everyone finally is going to be forced to take it seriously and finally, finally, finally actually give me help.

Instead of more drugs, more injections, more physical therapy, all of it useless. I finally qualify for real, actual help. And no one can fucking take that away from me. I can’t be ignored or dismissed or treated like an idiot anymore.

Finally. Dear god. Finally.

No one can ever, ever, ever again tell me it’s all in my head. (Yes, I have had a doctor accuse me of that.)

I’m just ... like, this is fucking terrifying and the next few months are likely to be some of the most stressful of my life but...

finally.

CHARLIE LOL THATS EXACTLY IT ITS LIKE i dont think anything more "you" could have occurred

I know this all sounds really dramatic and over the top but after 20+ years of being treated like a pariah and an attention whore and a drug seeker and a liar, I just ....

I’m just so relieved.

but yes, i am really glad that you have actual PROOF that can no longer be denied

nirnroot: NDJSJSSJSJDH PLURK WASNT SHOWING ME YOUR RESPONSES HOLY SHIT SORRY

ALSO: LMAO FOREVER BC YEA

pip holy shit

LITERALLY ONLY ME, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD?

ive??? nothing else to say i feel like i was just taken on a wild rollercoaster

LIKE HONESTLY WHAT THE FUCK LOL

congrats???? good luck????

what the fuck???????

LunaHoshino: thank you so much boo! i just ... man, I don’t even have words

nfjsjsjdb im in tears over you both going “yeah this is absolutely the most pip thing that could ever happen to pip”

IT'S TRUE THOUGH

odasaku: ME FUCKING TOO, DUDE.

like the whole last three weeks have been crazy, but the last two days in particular have just been like fashion lady hired me yesterday, director man hired me today, and I got the nerve test done at my rheumatologist’s office that proved I have sciatica

I’m not entirely convinced the last 48 hours have actually been real.

odasaku: I want to print this and frame it as the single most perfect description of my entire life

God yeah that's an encapsulation of pip if I ever saw one

hHSOUDJDJDIAODJFJDND

I swear to jesus I have no idea how these things happen to me. I don’t even KNOW. Did I make a pact with the devil at a crossroads and just forgot? Did I sacrifice many goats in a past life?

like...................

this is just going to be my reaction image for the rest of time.

I'm just so glad you're gonna be okay now

nirnroot: my god, dude. me too.

like, financially, physically, mentally... medically. etc. I’m actually gonna be okay.

YO

i'm so glad for you!!!

It was so touch and go there for a while. What an insane and desperately needed windfall.

ghosthotel: EYYYY THANK YOU BOO

I think I’m actually gonna be able to afford to stay in California. Even get my own one bedroom.

\o/

I’m still just ... smh my head. I just honestly don’t have words lol

YEAH it sounds like a lot!!! but you got this, i'm so excited for this new chapter in the life of pip

DANG GIRL GET IIIITTTT

REMEMBER US WHEN YOU'RE FAMOUS??? i'm only half kidding

I stumble into the most amazing shit by complete random happenstance it is absolutely unreal. Am I actually a person? Am I just the protagonist of someone’s wild ass novel? AM I A FICTIONAL CHARACTER?

ghosthotel: THE FACT THAT I KNOW YOURE ONLY HALF KIDDING IS WHAT FUCKING KILLS ME THE MOST

if covid literally ever goes away and movies resume being a thing, I’m 100% the person that would be going to all the big events. No question. And that ................................... is bananas.

I will remember the little people once I have ascended... to... hollywood... or what the fuck ever

DrFishbone: THANK YOU BOO IM GONNA DO MY BEST!!!

ghosthotel: but yeah I think it’s safe to say I’m pretty excited for this too. All of it.

I keep thinking about a future where I can play sports again, or hike, or take up a martial art...

I literally just. Genuinely, honestly, am dreaming of being able to go to a grocery store and just get groceries and go home like a normal person, instead of my body being destroyed for a week by ten minutes walking through a fucking store

Do they know about your imminent surgery though?

DrFishbone: YEAH, ABOUT THAT. They do not, mostly because we do/did not have enough details. I still don’t have any idea when it’s going to happen other than a vague timeframe of “within the next few months.” So I don’t want to jump the gun and scare them off when I’m not even sure myself how things are going to proceed exactly

One thing that will work greatly in my favor though is that Director Man (that’s his name now) actually wants to pump the brakes on our work once the second half of December rolls around. The fashion brand will slow down right around then too as everyone has finished their holiday shopping.

i think that's a smart move tbh

So I have a two week window where I may be able to get the surgery and get a good two weeks’ rest and recovery in, and then simply return to work, since I’ll be working from home anyway and can stay in bed as much as I need

YEAH... I feel ya... maybe you can be like “oh and by the WAY...”

like they sound like very busy professional people and i feel like if you came to them with firmer details they'd probably be fine to just like

let you know what they need from you beforehand/during if you're able, and otherwise can project things well enough around it

Yeah your job can be done well remotely so that’s a big bonus

DrFishbone: hahaha yeah pretty much. I’ve been discussing it with my mom a lot and the conclusion we’ve kind of come to is that by the time the surgery does happen I’ll have been working for these people for a month or two already, and they should have a bead on, you know, my capabilities and trustworthiness as an employee.

So hopefully I’ll be able to explain to them what’s going on, get everything as prepared as possible for the time I’ll be out, let things run on autopilot for a bit, and then get back into it once I’m able

once I’m able. haha. it’s a pun see because I am disabled because of my back and god I’m tired

That sounds like it would be a good time to do it since a lot of people tend to take that time off for the holidays anyway, yeah

ghosthotel: yeah, that’s exactly what we’ve been thinking. they ARE professionals, and they’re also both just really nice people actually. I really hit it off with Fashion Lady, she’s really lovely

so yeah, I completely agree that I think they’ll be more than willing to work with me so that we can prepare a lot of content and scheduling in advance, as much as possible to make things run smoothly in my absence, and then I go get the rest I need

LunaHoshino: yep, and I know from, well, years of working at a marketing firm, that the last two weeks of December and the first week of January tend to be very quiet. And then things pick up again to business as usual pretty quick. But we may be able to use that lull

Fingers crossed!

It’ll really depend on when my surgeon takes off for the holidays, because doctors offices always have incredibly long holidays lol. or just ... the doctors themselves really. taking a month off here and there. so we will need to know if my surgeon might be, idk, taking off on Dec 15th and won’t be back to work until January 11th or god knows what lmao

everything is still so up in the air rn, which is the biggest reason why I haven’t disclosed that I need surgery yet. I just don’t even know enough to discuss it with them in a way that would be productive

So I’m kind of forced to keep playing the waiting game for a while. I think it’ll all work out, there’s just gonna be some fuckin crazy ass logistics gymnastics in the next few months lol

holy shit???? all of this sounds like a dream outside the fun surgery stuff?

SPINS YOU AROUND EXCITEDLY

nightstarfever: IS SPUN AROUND EXCITEDLY!!!!!!!!!! god dude yeah it’s about as close to a dream come true as you can get

I’m trying not to let my hopes get TOO away from me, bc I was also very positive about my last job when I started and thought it would be cool and fun, and I ended up loathing it more than any job I’ve ever had (and I used to work for Starbucks).

so I’m more trying to be cautiously optimistic. I am hoping and praying this does indeed turn out to be as cool and amazing as it seems like it is right now

I liked my last boss at first and thought he was this cool guy and ended up just hating his guts for being such a flake. Case in point: I contacted to ask him to be a reference, he did graciously say yes, and Fashion Lady reached out to him... two days ago... and hasn’t heard back... gee, that sounds fuckin familiar...

(for anyone I didn’t bitch about it to my last boss was a massive fucking flake who would take up to a week to answer the simplest question.)

(And he literally told me his own inability to enable me to do my job was part of the reason he was letting me go............. I’m serious, he said that)

(what a toolbox.)

I mean... at least he's honest... I guess...

he did what I presume was his best, I suppose

The way he phrased it was like “I can’t seem to get out of your way so you can do your job” and I was like yeah no shit dude?

like, we launched a new website, and HE requested I develop a post-launch marketing plan. So I did. And wrote a good deal of the content in advance. It was going to focus on social media and email.

He never authorized me to set up an ESP (email service provider), and even though I asked him for five straight weeks, he never even gave me the credentials to log into our social media. And then when firing me cited one of his reasons being he wanted more of a full service marketing plan.

which. I’d already developed. at his request. with his approval. you know. the plan he actively prevented me from executing. that plan.

🙄

I was mega depressed after he laid me off bc I was just so exhausted by the financial strain and stress but now I definitely realize it was WAYYYYYYYY for the best. I hated the job so much it was affecting my mental health lol

SO. god let’s not turn this into a David sucks bitching session lmaoooo. Let’s just say I hope my new bosses actually ARE as cool and reasonable as they seem.

Comes back to this... might as well vent in here...

I honestly should have realized something was wrong, or beginning to go wrong, with my body.

Like, the pain is never good but usually it’s like... bearable. it’s fine. sometimes I kinda forget it’s there.

lately though? it’s just been agony. agony, nonstop. I am SO tired. All I want to do is sleep. And I can’t beg off work because I literally just started but I don’t sleep anymore because I CANT, I’m in too much pain

So I’m in this constant state of pain and fatigue that honestly makes it hard to think straight, you know? Who wouldn’t have a hard time thinking through complex problems when they’re in pain and exhausted? A person like that isn’t really going to be able to give their best.

Ugh. God. I just need to do what I can to get some sleep and get through today... I’m just gonna be busy all fuckin day with no chance for reprieve and I kinda want to cry lol how the fuck am I going to manage balancing jobs this intense with how fucked up my meat vessel is

Can I just get a new one please, laughs

I feel a little sick with anxiety thinking about what today is going to be like going through hours of meeting and work all the while barely functional from pain and lack of sleep

this is definitely gonna go fine and the quality of my work isn’t going to drop precipitously in any way at all!

.... sighs .... in the morning I’ve got to email Fashion Lady with the estimate I’ve come up with for my hours... therapist at 11... then meeting with Director Guy at 2 that I expect to last until 5...

I sent him some materials to prep for the meeting... I hope he reads them, I’m going to be using them as the basis for my updating/restructuring of our publicity proposal... and I need his assistant to get back to me with some questions I’m going to send him...

It’ll be fine... one way or another it’ll all be fine...

I am genuinely going to have to find a way to build rest or even naps into my workdays now though. that’s all that really helps the pain... I know my hours can be flexible at least, I’m not on the clock from 9 to 6 in any way shape or form... I just need to get things done as they need to get done

As long as it’s all completed on schedule we’ll be golden so I at least feel like I have some flexibility there

Oh god we have to meet to finalize my compensation too lol! Aaahhh

I’m going to create a group chat :T I keep having to pass the same message to each of my bosses separately and it’s silly. I need a way to inform them of things they both need to know

Also, man, I KNOW the imposter syndrome is gonna set in hardcore in a few days at which point I’ll panic for a while that I am grossly underqualified and they’ll realize I’m a fraud etc and then take my Xanax and get the fuck over it lmfaoooo

Oh, and I mean this: if anyone can help me come up with a job title that describes what I’ll be doing for Director Man I’d be extremely grateful. I keep arriving at the thoroughly unimpressive “project manager” when really it’s going to be WAYYYYYYYYY more than that.

But “Director of marketing” or something also doesn’t fit because ... he’s just a dude, not a marketing department, so like, that just won’t work

It suggests the existence of an organizational structure and there just ain’t any lol

But I gotta figure out SOMETHING to put on my LinkedIn or whatever... maybe I’ll ask Director Man himself if he has any thoughts for how he envisions describing the role

Though lol I know he’s gonna say “quarterback” and I’m gonna be like dude that’s badass and all but I can’t put that shit on a resume. LAUGHS

Marketing overseer

dude, pip!!!! PIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BOOM THE ENTIRE WORLD SUDDENLY OPENS UP AND YOU GET PLUNGED HEAD FIRST INTO IT i'm so excited for you, Pip, I hope each step you take just launches you through the stratosphere, it's about time things look up and up and up