I’m doing what I can to help out, and I’ve been doing some research on the matter, but I’m sure there are plenty of others who know far more than I do and I’d really appreciate any help!

In this case, finances are especially important as their abuser is stealing pretty much all of their income, so finding ways to keep funds in a private account that can’t be discovered or controlled by the abuser is crucial.

I don’t know what that might look like in AUS, if there are banks that have zero-fee accounts and that can be asked to never ever send any paper mail or bills. I also think investing would be a good option for them, as long as they had a relatively safe portfolio, as they might be able to grow what money they can save more quickly.

but if there are AUS banks with really competitive rates on their savings accounts that would also work.

Oh, and, regarding the investment option, if anyone is familiar with AXS (the AUS stock market) that would be super helpful as well. We’re trying to explore every avenue for saving and making money, especially when they may only be able to hide away a couple bucks a week.

I showed my friend this article which I am hoping will help, but if any AUS folks happen to see it and can comment on if it is good advice that would be amazing!

tysm if you replurk this and spread the word! this friend is very precious to me and deserves so much better than the horrible situation they are trapped in.

oh, and to clarify one thing, in this case the abuser is a family member and legal guardian, for whatever that might change in terms of approach.

AND ONE MORE THING, my friend is a cis male! so of course any shelters or resources specifically for cis women will be unavailable to him.

oh gosh I don't know anything about aus but I hope he can get free. One thing that might be important is to make sure he has hold of all important ID documents -- license, passport, birth certificate, SS card, etc, and keeps them in a safe place. I know there are banks in the US that offer free checking, and all online, so hopefully AUS has that.

i am australian; haven't lived there for 10 years at this point but still have some resources listed around the place. do you happen to know what state he is in? if you don't want to list publicly for safety you can pp me! i will see what I can find.

I found a big honking list of legal resources, but I’m not sure which of these would actually be the right one to contact for this specific situation...

denouements: let me find out! Thank you so so so so much for offering!

no problem! ♡

denouements: it’s Victoria! he is okay with sharing that bit of information, so I’ll leave it stated here in case anyone else is aware of Victoria-specific resources or services.

got it! let me see what I can find out for you.

Manicmanic: yeah, we’ve been chatting about that, getting all his documents safely if it is possible to do so. it’ll probably take some time... both of his parents are actively working against him here so it may be rough

denouements: THANK YOU! that means more to me than I can say thank you so much!

I do have one more question; I see that his parents are his legal guardians - is he under 18? That will definitely change the approach

He is not a minor, no. So thankfully we don’t need to worry about emancipation. The biggest obstacle he has to leaving is finances, as like I said the abusers are stealing all of his income and monitor his accounts. So he needs something private and undiscoverable.

Got it, okay! I just wanted to be absolutely certain.

Of course! It would change hugely how we’d need to approach it so completely valid question, no problem.

I should also mention... there has been an element of physical abuse in the past, so we have so assume there is a risk of violence.

Given how intense all of this is I do want to retain as much of his privacy as I physically can, so if there are any other specific questions anyone might want answered -- please feel free to ask but I’ll be really careful with any specific details unless my friend wants to speak with you directly!

I have a portfolio on the AUS stock market but while the stocks I have are very stable and good long term investment (they are EFTs, meaning they're basically set and forget), but I'm not sure if you can tell the companies to never send paper mail; I'm fairly sure I've told them to send my dividend payouts by email and I still get paper mail.

*dividend reinvestments

IME a lot of stuff here loves sending stuff by the post, at least initially. To my knowledge, a lot of the higher interest rate savings accounts require a minimum deposit of money every month

I’ve actually also built my portfolio on ETFs and it’s a fairly moderate, balanced portfolio. I’ve always gotten my information from them via electronic communication only. but, it would depend on the service my friend used... do you think it would be possible to route any Mail to a PO Box or something?

If he's able to scrounge up $200 a month, UBank has one of the highest interest rates for savings accounts (almost double the Commonwealth bank equivalent), and I believe it doesn't have monthly/yearly/setup fees.

jesii: shoot, you’re very likely right about the minimum deposit thing for more competitive accounts. do you know what AUS banks offer that kind of thing and what the minimum deposit might be? I can see if me and my friend can work out a budget.

Oh that’s excellent! Thank you so much for the suggestion!

I think it'd be possible to route mail to a PO box

I’ll bring it to him ASAP. $200 a month sadly may not be feasible (his horrible parents take almost all of his income) but we can at least run the numbers and see.

Regarding opening a bank account, his best option wo...

Usually for those kinds of savings accounts that give "bonus" interest when you reach a min amount deposited every month, the amount is ~$200

yeah, that’s why I’m wondering, like, can he sign up at ANY financial institution using a P.O. Box address? Or does he HAVE to set up his account with his home address, and then ask for all communications to be sent to the PO Box?

yeah, seconding the thing about the cards, they always mail those.

denouements: WHOA this is amazing gimme a sec to read this

how are they taking his income? does he have friends he can couchsurf with until he builds some income? is it not illegal in aus to prevent people access to their documentation (birth certificate, etc? it is illegal to withhold these in the US and copies can be requested to be sent to other places like a p.o. box otherwise)

When I worked at TD we could issue same-day debit cards if someone came in person

foof, that PO Box cost is higher than I was hoping for. I’ll ask, but he may have to route mail through a friend.

I'm not 100% sure, it may be worth contacting the banks for that kinda info.
Also i'm looking through my finance related emails and the National Debt Helpline is 1800 007 007, so they may also have advice for his specific situation.

though he may not have debt necessarily, it's for people facing financial hardship, from my understanding

jiggypepper: so the income thing basically boils down to “they made an account quote-unquote in his name and force him to pay rent into it or he’ll be kicked out.” However the account isn’t actually his, or in his name at all. I don’t think he even has access to it.

He’s essentially being forced to deposit money into a savings account THEY own. If he fought or refused, he would immediately become homeless, and risk possible violence.

How closely are they monitoring that account? Could he do a split direct deposit into a second account to get at least some money squared away?

I've escaped a similar situation and I super want to second finding where all of his ID documents are and making a plan to secure them somewhere his parents can't access ASAP. In the US it can be super difficult to replace them, or you often need one to get the other.

^yeah this

Good news: he has access to all of his documentation and can put it somewhere safe.

he has also told me there are places he can go in an emergency.

I'd consider this an emergency?

it's good that he has places that are safe for him. he could reroute the mail to those places then so that he can open a second account

dontyousonicme: I don’t think so. The way he explained it to me, he’s more or less just depositing money into THEIR bank account. I think sadly all the money he has earned has to be considered forfeit; there is no way they are going to give it back to him.

Right, but he can have his employer split the deposit between that account and a new one in any ratio he wants

If they're forcing him to give up all of his money in order to live there first order of business should be escaping. Interest savings accounts/etc can wait.

And fully transfer it to the new account when he's ready to leave

I’m not sure how closely they monitor it on a day to day basis but they do check and ensure he’s deapositing the agreed upon amount at agreed upon times.

jiggypepper: that’s sort of where I’m coming from. He needs money TO escape, he has basically nothing and I think he’d struggle to afford food and basics even with couch surfing.

He’s interested in getting out, but has made it pretty clear he doesn’t consider it urgent. Which worries me like crazy, laughs, because I’m afraid his parents are going to fuck him over in a way he won’t see coming because he’s struggling to believe they’d stoop so low...

something to think about in that regard too: is there a particular reason they're his legal guardians when he's not a minor? if it's something like disability, the safest thing to do with regards to escape is to talk to a doctor. HIPAA protects him that way, and doctors are mandated reporters.

It's always good to explore the options sooner than later at least

dontyousonicme: oh you’re right about splitting the deposit! that’s smart. the trick would be if he makes enough TO split his deposits and still keep up with his “rent.”

Right. Ooooooooor if he gets a new job, he could just lie about how much it makes and split it. But he'd need that second account created first.

Okay... if he doesn't consider getting out urgent, I'm not sure how he's going to save any money to escape when he's being made to put all of his income in someone else's pocket? I admit to being confused because this sounded urgent, but if he's not concerned, then... I don't know.

denouements: that was poor wording on my part. I just mean legally they are his parents. Given that he’s not a minor they can’t actually really CONTROL him or stop him from leaving, but he’d be destitute and homeless.

plus, like I said, there has been violence. I am really scared for his safety, though he doesn’t seem to think it will be a concern again?

If nothing else, he kind of realized what was going on and how bad it was only recently so I think it’s still sinking in, poor guy.

ahhh man that's rough. hopefully the information everyone is pooling together here is helpful

I wouldn’t call it unconcerned so much as still coming to grips with all of it and even realizing he’s in a situation that’s abusive. He has definitely been asking for ways to save his money so that’s why I’ve been asking about that specifically

He DOES want to save to get out, but I don’t know what that timeline looks like in his head.

It does sound like the first step would be getting an account the family doesn't know about/have access to. It can take a while to pick through all the info, as well as finding out whether they can service his needs (no fees, no physical mailout even for the card)

Honestly also if he just goes to a bank and explains his situation, they might be able to do a little more for him. Or at least go over options better than we can.

jiggypepper: I’m sorry for being confusing! I think it IS urgent, but he’s still kinda working through it, I think ... that’s the sense I get. But what he specifically requested from me was financial advice, at the start.

But I don't know how feasible that is right now. Might have to wait a few months until it's safer/things are open, unfortunately.

jesii: yes! That’s why I wanted to start there. Right now the plan I’ve discussed with him, that he seems to be comfortable with and wants to pursue, is to open a private savings account they don’t know about, OR starts modest portfolio, anything that can passively generate income, and start slowly depositing money into it.

He can try interest-based things but that'll be an extremely slow timeline. The next best thing would be a higher paying job without admitting to his family that he's being paid more while still paying them rent/etc and saving the rest in an account he owns. The quickest but most nuclear option is his own account > escape > stop paying them immediately

I don’t know how much precisely he has on hand, but he’s made it sound like he has SOME discretionary funds, just not a lot. So that he could probably put away.

I would say private savings account first; to my limited knowledge of when I was fumbling around with getting a shares portfolio, you need a bank account to actually start one anyway

I understand he's in a terrible situation though but in general his own bank account is probably the first step here no matter what.

jiggypepper: I’ll have to ask him what options he has available to him, work wise. I know he’s also a student, but maybe he can take additional under-the-table work like tutoring or something.

Excellent. That’s where we’ll start then.

and with so little money to his name, I don't think shares would be a good option just yet

I know the bank with the high interest rate if you have a deposit minimum per month was mentioned; so you guys know of any other good banks that might work? In case he needs other options, specifically in Victoria.

jesii: true. to invest with only a small amount and have it be worth it you’d have to go very high risk, which is .... risky. but, I’ll do research on that on my own time, to prepare for the long term. No need to trouble him with it right now.

If he's a student, it can be worth seeing if the school he's studying in offers scholarships. They often do for students with financial hardships

jesii: that’s an excellent thought! he may even be able to apply for grants.

Just in case couch surfing isn’t an option, where do you guys think he could go?

I suppose finding a list of shelters in Victoria that take men would be where to start...

He and I just started working on the plan more in detail tonight, so let me give him some time to read everything and let all this sink in, and then I’ll ask him about some of the more specific questions you guys have posed, like what he can do about his work situation, where he can stay, how much he can save while still paying “rent,” etc.

for investment stuff, I can dig up some info I read as reccomended EFTs to go into for people with less amounts of money when he's in a more stable situation

It just won't be tonight since it's nearly bedtime for me HAHA

jesii: oh, that would be so kind! even if we don’t go that route right away that would be extremely useful information to have.

No of course!!

Thank you so much already, my goodness! Please get some sleep LAUGHS

Sadly I don't know much on the getting shelter part, but hopefully someone else does!

“possibly, but I also do worry if I could even do something like that without making them suspicious too..”

so, he said this is why he hasn’t been going about things urgently...

he is scared they will catch on.

jiggypepper: just to get an answer to your question.

Yeah, that's understandable. He doesn't have to go about all this stuff all at once, but I feel that at least having a list of things to pursue will help make it all feel less overwhelming and have more direction for his Escape Plan

yeah formulating an escape plan is important and the first step should honestly be "where can i go if i have to Run" and keeping his docs in an easily accessible place

Are his parents paying for any of his school? If he was previously ineligible for a scholarship, would his school consider him financially independent of his parents if he leaves?

the phone number I posted should have an available list of shelters for men in his area

dontyousonicme: those are excellent questions. I’m not sure. I’ll ask him as soon as I have the opportunity. I’m trying not to overwhelm the poor guy, he’s definitely scared. This sucks.

Ok, I need to round up all the info you guys have told me about the banking...

denouements: excellent, thank you!

Ok, so going back to the subject of his opening an account.

say he can’t get a PO Box. Is he able to sign up for a bank account using an address that isn’t his legally registered address (like whatever is on his license)?

Again, not Australian, just worked in a bank - not on paper

In order to prevent any mail from going to his home, and routing it to a friend instead or some such.

They'll be worried about fraud and identity theft

dang. That will definitely make this hard. No, I totally understand! It just puts him in a tricky position...

If he explains his situation, they might be able to make an exception. There are a lot of manager overrides, or stuff that higher-level employees can get away with

How does he open an account without some evidence of it turning up at his door? Hums. I wonder if he could do a purely online banking solution and just request that there is no paper communication, though we’d still have to figure out if he could get the card. dontyousonicme were you the one to say he might be able to pick up his card in person?

When I worked at TD Bank (I know they have some branches in Australia but idk if there are any near him) we could print same-day debit cards

dontyousonicme: yeah, I saw that in my reading on the subject. but I’m still a little worried as I read a story from someone who did exactly that and still got mail and got found out.

Ok, TD Bank, that’s another option...

but 1) that was a while ago and 2) that was pre-pandemic when we could have people sitting in the lobby to wait

So the recommended banks so far are TD Bank, UBank, and NAB. All we’d need to do is speak to each, and see what their policies are.

Also, like...is he about to graduate in a few months? A year?

That's going to open a lot more for him employment-wise

Okay guys, here’s the plan so far: so, okay. Let’s lay out some steps here of things to...

What do you all think?

denouements: jesii: jiggypepper:

dontyousonicme: and you as well but you’re already right here, laughs

Also please know I can’t thank you all enough and I will absolutely find something nice I can do for each of you in repayment

seems reasonable to me

the pastebin i mean

i will warn that while Ubank is an online bank (so they don't have branches you can visit in person), they did send me my card through the mail, which i honestly wasn't expecting

looks reasonable to me

Seems reasonable! It's really good to have a plan just in case a quick exit is needed, even if he ultimately decides he'd like to wait until circumstances are more favorable

okay, great. thank you guys so much. I’m gonna give him the info about the banks you all recommended and see if we can do some legwork on finding out the policies and rates of each, and what we can do about receiving the card in the mail.

with regards to step 1, he'll also need to know his tax file number (TFN). while you don't usually need to show the original document, it's something you need to open bank accounts, etc. and you definitely don't want the parents to have a hold of it

dontyousonicme: you’re absolutely right! thank you for reminding me. okay, I’ll discuss a basic exit plan as well so he has it in his back pocket

jesii: oof, thank you so much! This is something I never would have known so god fucking bless y’all AUS people helping out

At least somewhere he knows he can go if they unexpectedly do decide to toss him out, either to scare him or because they mean it

that looks like a good list to me! ♡

just wanted to share this

thank you all so much

I’ll come back to this plurk with any followup questions or next steps once he’s ready

I can’t do a lot, but, denouements dontyousonicme jesii jiggypepper in thanks, I’d like to donate $5 on behalf of each of you to the charity of your choice

it’s the least I can do for you folks for helping my friend

that's such a sweet offer but honestly I am just happy to be of help. ♡

this parrot rescue, if you could

i would try to contact my mother to see if she would give him a place to crash temporarily but she's... a) in tasmania now and b ) not someone i would wish anyone into the care of gncksnfnf

i'll donate as well to match.

i hope things improve for him tho

jiggypepper: done ❤️

ghosthotel: HDJSJAJSJDHF BOO.... LMAO YOURE SO SWEET it’s ok! He reassured me he has friends he can stay with, and if that doesn’t work we can definitely find him a shelter to stay at

but tysm nonetheless bc I know you mean it

denouements: thank you so, so much but if you change your mind know I’d be very happy to!

♡♡ That's really so sweet of you; thank you so much. honestly I'd be ok if you wanted to put "my" donation towards the parrot rescue jiggypepper mentioned! parrots need all the help they can get ^^

denouements: double done! with slightly recropped first image so you can tell from the transaction ID that they are indeed two separate donations, laughs

jiggypepper: that is so lovely of you! thank you so much!

haha! I trusted you either way ♡♡♡ thank you. once I get to my computer I will also join in with a matched donation! ♡

y’all are the best

I’ll keep you all posted on how things are with my friend... I suspect it’ll be another day or two as he processes the mountain of information we just went through, laughs

He seems to feel a little better, at least... even that much is reward enough

this poor guy has been put through real ass hell. I won’t give details out of respect for his privacy, but it was a situation where it was one of those, “now that I say it out loud it sounds way worse than I thought...” kinda things, you know? and he’s the absolute sweetest person on the planet. he deserves happiness and security and safety.

and you’re all helping me help HIM achieve that and I couldn’t be more grateful!

Does the person have a trusted friend that could set up a gofundme for them? They can keep it anonymous and have it direct to their own bank account, that way the victim has collected money but someone else is watching it for them? Does that make sense?

I don't know about stock markets but my partner has been investing in crypto and in a month has turned 175% profits. So that's an option for making money

They started with like nothing and just kept feeding into it.

dukevendetta: I’ve been thinking about that, yeah. I’d have to ask him. I suspect he’d say no, but I’ll definitely float the idea by him.

Crypto? Huh. Doge? Or something else?

a lot of people willingly will donate to strangers, myself included. a lot of us have suffered from similar situations and want to pay it forward.

Cardano mostly

It requires watching an app thats the thing. idk if he'll be able to do it if he's under someone's eye

essentially buying coins when theyre low and when they get high selling them into other coins that are at their low. my partner is addicted and watching it constantly. but they just started a month ago with a little money here and there and are now holding like $2k in crypto which is more money than theyve ever had at one time lol

but i bring it up bc its a way to make money that isnt working a day job you know?

that’s honestly pretty cool. good for your partner, I hope it continues to work out!

and yes, you make a good point.... I think the real sticking point would be the frequency he could check on it. Could I DM you later to ask some questions about it?

poor guy is in a frenzy rn, it’s 5 AM by him and he’s cleaning the house bc his parents get home from some kind of trip soon and if a hair is out of place he’ll get screamed at for hours I really hope we can get him out of there sooner rather than later

and he works nights so he hasn’t slept...

please keep him in your thoughts yall. he’s got a rough week ahead of him

wouldn't get into crypto, really not worth it ESPECIALLY for someone already poor

WAIT A TIC IM A FUCKING FOOL

my boy is a musician! He has a band and does covers and stuff and you can buy and stream his music!

Let me see if he’s okay with me sharing that bc if so I bet everyone could help out just by streaming his stuff on Spotify

dang, pretty sure he went to sleep. I’ll update this later if he’d like me to link his music!

i am so sorry to hear he's in this position. but would love to listen to his music. also agreeing that i would not get into crypto. I would not recommend ANYONE get into crypto in general but if you are going to it's so crucial to really read into it and fully understand exactly what you're doing there, which is a lot of effort

that’s absolutely fair. I’m curious about how it works, but I don’t think I’d do it either, and I don’t want to suggest to my friend something I wouldn’t even do myself. Crypto is weird and intense. the first order of business will still be setting up a private bank account regardless, and we haven’t gotten there yet.

Never mind he’s still awake and he’s granted his permission!!!

His Spotify for covers: Jaser
You can find his covers under the same name, Jaser, on iTunes!

I have no lie been listening to his cover of Under The Mask basically nonstop for like 3 weeks, it’s genuinely really good.

His band, No Hard Feelings, only has one song out, but you can find it here! Pity Party

Please please please give his stuff a listen or a buy on iTunes, it’s great and it would help him out a ton!

does he have a bandcamp site too? that gives more revenue

Some info from him:

“But also, the covers under jaser are 100% done by me (except for the vocals on that one song) and the no hard feelings is 90% done by my friend and then I just play guitar over the top lol”

I do not think so. Let me ask

PHEW ok the main OP of this plurk has been updated with links to his Spotify and Bandcamp!

His stuff on iTunes is under Jaser just like it is on Spotify. There seems to be more than one Jaser on iTunes though so check his Spotify to make sure the tracks you find on iTunes are actually his, laughs

Last detail is that while his covers benefit him directly, he and his band agreed that any proceeds they get from Bandcamp go back into the band. So buying his track on Bandcamp won’t help my friends situation, but it would support his band and make him pretty happy!

you can dm me, but I'll have to relay it all to my partner to get answers haha.

i know two people said no but I'm serious about when i said my partner started with nothing. we are not wealthy. they make minimum wage.

.... he says the song with the Arabic name on his Spotify isn’t his and he’s not sure how it got there ...

so yea just a word to the wise ig

but theyre right in that its a lot of work and you need to do your homework

yeah, i should clarify: personally i don't think the problem w crypto is going into it w not a lot of money, the problem w it is that it's not environmentally friendly, it's confusing to your average person, and it requires a lot of tracking and keeping up with everything to stay ahead of the curve, even more so (imo) than stocks

it's very possible to be super successful at it and make a ton of money but it's just a Lot

it also fluctuates faster than stocks, a lot of the time

dukevendetta: I understand. I still appreciate your offer as it’s very kind and I probably will reach out with questions! But if for no other reason than a lack of time I don’t think it will be the best solution for my friend. Thank you for being willing to chat about it, though!

Anyway, in the meantime we can help him out through buying his tracks on iTunes and streaming his Spotify stuff, those at least go directly back to him! It won’t be much money ... like at all ... but every little bit helps, and it’s not nothing to me that it would make him really happy.

banks will often require proof of address when setting up accounts - like a letter with your name and address on it

Oh, I’m sure he can provide that, that’s no issue. It’s preventing any mail being sent TO his residence and tipping his parents off that he has set up a separate account.

you should be able to have a seperate postal address in addition to your residential (or at least you can at Commonwealth Bank), but proof of address is likely needed for setup

So if they need his real address he can provide it, but if they insist that mail go to him, that’s a problem.

A separate postal address? THAT would be ideal. I’ll add commonwealth bank to the list of banks to look into, thank you!

Commonwealth banks do charge fees if you don't deposit a certain amount each month, so it might not be ideal

Ah. Yeah, that’s likely not feasible, though we still need to sit down to work out a budget. He finally went to bed, so I imagine probably sometime in the next few days we’ll work on that.

probably the best thing is to ask their customer service directly what's possible

That was my thinking, yeah. To chase up all the banks on our list and speak with customer service directly about what their rates are and how they can handle the mail issue. Only problem I can imagine there is him finding the time, and privacy, to do so. I’d help, but I’m in the US and I’d be calling internationally with a massive time zone gap.

But, it may be totally possible for him, I dunno! So if that IS a problem I’ll ask him once he’s up to speed on what we’ve gone through so far. He said he was saving most of it to read for once he’d rested.

If it’s no issue, great. If it is, we’ll figure out how to cross that bridge when we come to it. I want our first first priority to be to establish an exit plan so he has it if he needs it this coming week.

yeah, figuring out options is the first step

he may also prefer to go into a branch and talk to someone in person as well - possibly he could see if he can request to pick up the card at the branch itself?

NAB is a well established bank here, so they do have plenty of branches

nods. I gave him like two resources that detail what to put in a go bag if he needs to get out, hopefully he has time to read it all when we wakes up. Gah, I’m kicking myself, if I’d just been more on the ball... his parents were gone for a few days and we could have done so much work, but I didn’t find out until today. We’ll just have to do the best we can

Yeah, I need to talk to him to see what he thinks about the bank options. What’s easiest, what he can access, how much he can afford to deposit per month according to what each bank asks for in exchange for competitive savings rates...

you can only work with what you have

He just specifically asked to hold off till after he got some sleep, understandably.

getting the bank account is definitely the first step. and honestly I wouldn't worry too much about the best savings rate - right now interest rates are so low, you really don't get much at all

you need to have a ridiculous amount to get any kind of interest at all.

right now he just needs a place to put money

I just skimmed this but I didn't see it mentioned: he should make sure he has his own Medicare card and keep that with his important documents

Most Aussie banks will also have accounts with zero fees for students, and while online banking is great, it sounds like a bank with branches will be the best option bc he can go in and talk to someone about the situation

In terms of ease of access, I'd suggest NAB or Commonwealth bank, they're both national banks so you can find a branch wherever you end up, I know Commbank specifically has a student saver acct because I used to have it

If he's at uni, there might be resources there he can connect with, including cheap accommodation while he gets his feet under him

I forgot about the student saver account, that is a good option

I think you can also get fees waived if you are a student?

Yeah, that's what I did with my commonwealth account. IIRC they didnt even ask for proof

nothing immediately helpful unfortunately but i have a few therapy resources for once they're safe

SFU's Centre for Applied Research in Mental Health &...

Mood Gym - Australian online CBT program

Centre for Clinical Interventions

superfine: oh, that would be wonderful. I’ve been thinking of recommending therapy to him because I know he is having a time of coming to grips with certain things about the situation. A lot of trust and faith has been lost for him, I think. A good support network is going to be really super important.

He has our circle of friends and we’d all do anything for him, but we are still only his friends, and we’re scattered all over the world. Resources that are both professional and closer to home will be amazing to have so thank you so very much for thinking of it and offering.

If you have any info to pass on, feel free to do so now and I’ll keep it on hand for whenever he wants/requests it.

Okay, scrolling up to catch up a little... thank you all so much. I am floored by the outpouring of support. I haven’t wanted to overwhelm him too much, but if anyone wants to pass along any well wishes or thoughts or anything like that, I’d be happy to. I think it would mean a lot to see how many people genuinely care for his happiness.

blueflowers: sighs, this is true. Regarding the principal amount needed to make good on interest rates. The reason I’ve been pursuing it so doggedly is I can’t think of any other way he can grow the money he sets aside.

Coming in late but only just saw this now

if they bank with Commonwealth Bank or Bankwest they can contact their bank as those two banks have support to help people get out of abusive situations

I'm sure other banks do too but I work for this particular banking network so I know it exists.

Domestic & Family Violence Assistance Program - Comm...

And since I don’t think he’ll be able to set aside much, every penny counts... (what’s the Australian equivalent of a penny? that.)

If anyone has any suggestions aside from what’s been discussed so far (savings, investment, even crypto) for GROWING the money he saves I would be all ears.

If there aren’t any good options, though, so be it--I just want to make sure we exhaust every possibility (that is still practical and discreet).

Centrelink has assist for crisis payments Crisis Payment for Extreme Circumstances Family and ...

nekomiao: hi! No worries at all about being “late”, any help at any time will be immensely appreciated during this process.

I live on the west and each state would have different support networks

I really have no idea how this will go--it could be as sudden as a few days from now, or as drawn out as months of careful maneuvering. So I’ll never ever say no to anyone who wants to help.

which state are they in?

Victoria!

DVRC is a good place to start Domestic Violence Resource Centre Victoria

Gosh, those banks specifically have assistance for abuse victims? That’s astonishing. I’m just glad to know that even exists, what a nice thing. I’m not sure where his and his parents’ current banking is but I’ll find out.

Yes...CBA is the Commonwealth Bank Aus so ..one of the big 4. I'm sure the other 3 have assistance as well but I personally only work with the CBA network so I can't talk about the others

Bankwest is part of the CBA network so the company I work for also has access to this assist program

we also do a lot of training in recognizing victims such as separating people if they come into banks and want to grant permission to access accounts but they look under duress etc so..yeah..

batsecretary: regarding the Medicare card, thank you SO much for pointing that out as I wouldn’t have thought of it, as much as I really should have thought to have him get anything medically important together as well. Thank you so so so much for being willing to read through hundreds of comments just to make sure that wasn’t missed, it is incredibly kind.

aaaa gomen, sorry my responses are so disjointed as I go back to read things, I’ll get current shortly! Give me just a moment to make sure I haven’t missed anything nekomiao, just know I’m not ignoring you I promise! Laughs

It's fine. Just be careful with advising about the medicare card. If they're on another person's medicare card already, the other person may be notified or receive a new card when they are removed. You can only be on one medicare at a time.

So if they're trying to leave discreetly, medicare may be one of the last few things to apply for when attending Centrelink. A temp medicare card is issued (on paper) immediately upon application and the medicare card is immediately available via the app so unless they have urgent med appointments that can be held off till later

Oh, good point, I didn't think about the new card being issued

tbh I'm only really on top of this medicare stuff coz having a baby and doing all the paperwork myself

a lot of the best options for growing money are really long-term. like, stocks have better growth rates, but their risky. crypto is suuuuuuper risky.

for someone in this situation i would prioritise security over better growth rates, since itll do him no good if the stock market tanks right before he wants to try and get out

term deposits are probably the most secure way of growing money outside of savings accounts, but it will lock it away for a set period if time (and i think theres often a minimum you can deposit)

term deposit rates are all low right now. And if emergency access to funds may be required it probably is better to store the funds in a non locked savings account

there are two types of savings. The ones with a lower rate don't require minimum deposit. There are higher rate ones that give you a better interest for each month no withdrawals are made. higher if there's a minimum monthly deposit

FOOF okay I’m caught up with the backlog

TDs in Australia have a regulatory 31 day waiting period for withdrawals unless you profile extensive paperwork proving there is extenuating circumstances for withdrawal

I’m creating a big hecking document for him with all this information

... not just for his sake and ease of use but so I can make sure I don’t forget to add anything, LAUGHS

ok ok ok

In terms of govt assistance there's also youth allowance which is for students

blueflowers: crypto I’m a lot more wary of since I don’t have the least understanding of it myself, but the stock market I DO understand. If you invest well you can really minimize risk, and still earn more in interest than you might get from a savings account. However, a savings account is zero risk, and that does have to be acknowledged

I think rather than discuss it as a plan, I’ll just talk to him about the idea of investing, and if he likes it we can explore it when he’s got other more immediate/important things in place

with the caveat that getting government assistance rn is kind of a shit show

yeah, investing is def a good idea at some point, but maybe not necessarily first cab of the rank

batsecretary: hum, would the youth allowance cover over 18s?

yup!

its specifically for 18-25

and even then it would still be good to keep some money in a savings account

nekomiao: hoky dokey wow, it took me a HOT minute to put together everything you said because you provided so dang much! Thank you!!!

centrelink is the name of our government assistance agency. they are indeed a nightmare to deal with.

batsecretary: oh PERFECT. thank goodness, he’s just inside that age range so that’s really wonderful!

He'd have to wait until he was away from home, because if you're living with your parents they count their assets and get them involved, but it could be something to look into for when he moves out

And oh yeah, of course. Part of having a secure investment portfolio is not putting all of your savings into your investment portfolio, LAUGHS

I work in the finance industry so I know lots of random info

Term deposit... I think I had something like that once, but it was called a CD. Good rates but I could only withdraw from it once a year. (wish I’d invested it instead, looking back the rates were pretty crap, laughs) but yeah, sadly that’s not going to be a good option for him right now

Would it be possible for him to start with a basic savings account, and then if he were able to meet certain monthly minimum deposits or avoid taking money out, could he then “trade up” to that more competitive account, so to speak?

you can have multiple savings accounts

like, i have two at commonwealth. one is a smaller flat interest rate, the other has bonus rates if i deposit 200 per month

^^^ this. speak to their MFI (main financial institution) online savings accounts don't have monthly fees.

nekomiao: no no, please! Your input here has been extremely valuable! I feel really lucky and grateful that someone with your expertise happened to see this!

neither has fees associated (thats usually the linked checking account)

open up multiple to facilitate different savings styles

when i have been unemployed, i have just moved everything from one account to the other when i didnt have the income for the 200 a month

theres no penalty to them sitting around empty if you are not using it

Ok yes thank you both, doing two savings sounds like the way to go here

hm, so he’ll HAVE to have a linked checking account, correct? I think? Man it’s been so long since I set up my own banking that I don’t remember. Do we need to be wary of anything there, any fees or considerations to keep in mind?

note.. this won't apply for a while but accounts with no transactions for 6 months months be autoclosed by a bank (can just open another one) but accounts WITH money that have no transaction movement for 7 years are legally required to be auto closed and funds transferred to ASIC

fees and linked account requirements depend on each financial institution

huh. interesting. ok, good to know about the inactivity thing. I don’t think we’ll run into it, but I’d rather know and be prepared just in case as opposed to the alternative

I also have that with commonwealth! My main account is a "Smart Saver", which I can use with a debit card, and then it's linked to a "Goalsaver", that's online only, can only transfer money between it and the smart saver, and its interest rate is higher

re fees/acquirements, yeah, sounds about right.

not that he has to go with commonwealth, but jsut to give an idea of the actual names of things to look into. i imagine a lot of the main banks have similar set ups

nekomiao: so I’d like your thoughts. The banks we’ve been discussing so far are UBank, NAB, TD Bank, and Commonwealth, unless I’m missing something.

NAB, Commonwealth, ANZ and Westpac are the big 4. The big 4 have better capacity to assist if things happen. I personally work for a smaller subsidiary so that's where all my personal knowledge lies.

Commonwealth seems like a great choice bc of the dv assistance, but what of this list do you think would work best?

Though, I think I the legwork will still need to be done of calling everyone’s customer service and finding out about fees and requirements and mail routing and so on.

All banks in Australia have a $250,000 (iirc it's been a while since I checked this) govt guarantee for if things go wrong so don't have to worry about banks closing down etc.

batsecretary: no, I appreciate it! Having an idea of what I’m looking at/for will help me better help him

personally I'd nix TD from the list - you're going to have an easier time with an actual Australian bank

legally for AML/CT (anti money laundering and counter terrorism) reasons, you must have a residential address to open an account with a bank

so he will have to use his residential address to open the account or the address of someone trusted that he has documentation for.

Oh, is it just that TD has branches in AUS but isn’t actually an AUS bank? if so then I agree, I want this to be as streamlined for him as possible

as far as I can tell, yeah, I'd never heard of TD until I came to the States and even googling doesnt show much about TD in australia

nekomiao: ye, that part is no problem, he’ll be able to provide that. the matter were concerned with is ensuring no paper trail is ever delivered to his residence

a lot of aus banks are moving away from actual physical branches and going online. a big 4 is more likely to have a store with someone you can see in person

personally i just also hate TD but thats between me & god

most paperwork is online now these days so that's not a problem.

batsecretary: thank you for looking into that! I’ll strike it from the list. It’s sounding like Commonwealth is probably our best all around option?

batsecretary: LFNNS LMFAO I mean that’s fair. me re: wells fucking fargo honestly

CBA is the biggest bank.

nekomiao: ok! And other people in the thread have said that he should be able to speak to the customer service of whatever bank he chooses as well and just ensure he never receives any mail, or that if he must it can be sent to a PO Box or something. The biggest concern there is getting him the debit card associated with his account safely

I've been pretty happy with Commonwealth all around, I had some issues lately with tax nonsense and their customer service was super helpful

(pro-tip: dont move to another country and forget to update a bunch of your information)

alternatively No maintenance fee bank account & debit card | Bankw...

holy shit lmao

my soul hurts for you just thinking about that, damn

with one or all 3 Savings Accounts | Bankwest

and we offer Vulnerable customer support | Bankwest

blahblah this advice is general only please consider which products are best for your circumstances etc I'M NOT A FINANCIAL ADVISOR. sorry.. even tho my real name isn't linked to this I still need to cover myself.

nekomiao: HAHAHAHAHA no I totally get you. My brother is a lawyer. I hear that kinda thing a lot.

bankwest customers get access to the commbank domestic violence support assist

need to have 6 month history to access this tho

so.. whichever bank he's currently with or has history with he may have access to their support but we'd obviously need to know where his banking history is with

WHOOF okay. I think I’m finally all caught up...

So for whoever is around at the moment reading this, I want to ask one more favor: would anyone maybe want to help me get all this info organized in a Google doc? It doesn’t have to be fancy at all, just ... organized, laughs.

I’ve been compiling info as we go but there’s been a LOT and having a second set of eyes to help me make sure I didn’t miss anything and clean up the info would be a huge help. of course, only if someone has time, please don’t anyone push or stress yourselves!

and ok, I can find out where his current banking is. he does have his own, but of course his parents are aware of it and he wouldn’t be in a position to say no if they demanded to see it, so a secret account is still needed.

the privacy act in Australia means they have no legal grounds to see his account unless he shows it to them. banks can open secondary access numbers or unlink accounts from online banking so if he is forced to show his online banking then the account can remain hidden

nekomiao: No, for sure. Legally they don’t really have much power over him at all. It’s the insidious soft power that’s a problem, since they’d likely kick him out and leave him homeless if he didn’t comply. but even worse is that he could risk violence. so he definitely needs to set up a separate account that they never know about in the first place

Still... could you explain that a little more in depth? Like, say his current account is at Commonwealth. Does this mean that he could set up another account with that same bank, and just ensure it is not linked to his main one?

like, what is a secondary access number?

The online banking thing seems more straightforward though.

As we continue to work on all this though, I don’t think I can begin to thank everyone individually now, laughs, but I want to make one more donation to charity on behalf of / as thanks to you all. It feels most apt to donate to AUS charities that focus on domestic violence/abuse... anyone got a good one they can name off the top of their head?

I’ll do my own research of course as well but i figured someone may know so why not ask!

yup. he can set up multiple accounts. Bankwest can have multiple access numbers to online banking upon meeting certain conditions. each bank would have different requirements.

eg. access number 123 logs in to see accounts a and b. access number 456 logs in to see account a b and c

if forced to show online banking he would log in with 123 only so account c remains hidden

I had no idea. That’s incredibly useful to know, thank you very much. Once we get to the point of figuring out a budget, what banking he currently has, and deciding what banking he wants this secret account under, could I ping you with more questions if we have them?

yup feel free. I'm not always around but poke back when I can

Wow! I am so glad that more people have been able to come in and help you! I've learned a lot from this thread too and I'm so glad people have had more information!

Also, RizeUp Australia | Domestic Violence Charity – DV He... is a great charity for domestic violence victim support, seeing as you were looking. It turns out that I couldn't match the donation to the parrot place as I live in Korea and they don't accept it? So I'll be making a donation here, personally!

heartfuls: oh! that's generous of you to pitch in a charity donation. Since RizeUp is on topic, please put your donation there!
All the best for your friend!
With regards to the shares, the advice I got was that if you have under $5k for investing (and more than $1k), to begin in SPDR S&P/ASX 200 Fund (bc there's brokerage fees).

I have a .PDF of the portfolio that I personally use (it's like, 7 pages and a pretty easy read), so if you want that as well, I can upload it somewhere and DM it to you

It has been about a week since I've been on plurk but how are things going?

I’m sorry I don’t have many updates! He was very overwhelmed and we’ve only been talking about it slowly every couple of days since this all went down. But I do have some progress I can share.

He’s gathered up his important documents and has them somewhere safe. He’s also got together a go bag and has started gathering the supplies he needs, without trouble or discovery. The best news we have is that he has a lead for a much, much better job!

He would be making enough money to get out pretty promptly. Like almost right away. It would solve a lot of problems really quickly.

I know one issue we had was that hes still technically on his mom’s Medicare card? He said he could start the process there of moving away from that, but if anyone has any insight I sure wouldn’t mind.

Thats all I’ve got for now. He’s still there, we’re otherwise just working on the first three steps we decided on (documents, a go bag, and financials) before proceeding, but we’ll be adding the job to the mix.

If he can get that job ... well, we’ll see! Please keep your fingers crossed!

I hope it works out!

jesii: donated, by the way! it was for $15 AUS for complicated reasons that only make sense to myself BUT THERE IT IS

denouements: thank you very much for pointing me towards it because that was perfect!

cinnamonical: thank you very much! it’s appreciated.

Hi everyone! I’m reviving this at the behest of my friend who has asked me for help with something pretty specific. He has to drop out of his school program, and due to lockdown resuming in Aus, needs a way to / a place to safely stay out of the house away from his parents during the day if possible while he looks for work. Is there anywhere he could go?

rubs chin, I'm not sure if they would still be open if they're in lockdown, but maybe a public library? they usually have computer and internet access as well