Also ye this is my once monthly plurk ig

like, not only did I flirt with this guy but he flirted back. I was out to dinner with my dad. Please murder me.

I REALLY DIDNT MEAN TO? I DUNNO! God it was the dorkiest shit too I pray for death

I think a lot of people DO think I'm flirting with them because I have the dumb little girl giggles

Oh, mood

but no I'm not I do not flirt it's not something that happens

Like somehow That Kind Of Laugh that people take as “oh, this person is into me”

I don't like you I am just trying to be polite

YEP

I’m not but that’s cool

GOD LIKE PLEASE OKAY LISTEN

this wasn’t even my fault, he started it, I swear to jesus

He delivers our food and we just have a joking exchange about my food and says “I like a girl with an appetite”

He had a nice haircut with a sick fade and I told him “I like a man with a fresh fade” and complimented his hair

MMMM!!!

And.... gave him finger guns ... I wish I was kidding ... I want to die ...

EMU

I WAS TRYING TO JOKE, STUPIDLY

he gives me Eyes and goes “girl, are you flirting with me?”

me:
me:
me: N-NO

I literally couldn’t look at him and was waving my hands and apologizing and everything

he goes “if it’s any consolation you have a cute smile” and leaves so like

At least I can coast off that compliment for the next two years

anyway: bury me

gets the shovel

just slam dunk me into the ocean actually it’s faster

for this whole exchange my dad was thankfully in the bathroom but when he came back I couldn’t stop, like, looking away and half covering my face for a good ten minutes while he’s like ???????

I bet you were the exact color of a beet, too

PR... OBAB... LY....

rip

lays on my face.

pats

Why can’t I accidentally flirt with a cute girl for once in my life? Fuck me

I’m not straight enough for this shit!!!

then again, gay girl problems: actually flirting with a girl, this girl holding hands with you while you walk down the street and swinging your linked arms, and then talking about what a great friend you are girls

Gay or just affectionate? The eternal question

Yeah that’s how i got my current gf lmao

Joked that maybe she just wanted help with this video game she was playing and i told her i would tell her my secrets with a winky emoji and she got super flustered and then smash cut to me high as shit googling “did i accidentally flirt with someone”

as someone who Does Not I sometimes wonder how it is that people define flirting. other than subjectively, that is

apparently some people seem to think that basic human consideration or any form of humorous exchange counts which is baffling to me

how do they go two feet without thinking someone's into them

drilnos: holy fucking shit

okay first of all when did we become the same person second of all THATS FUCKING ADORABLE SHUT THE FUCK UP

nonabridged: probably finger guns, given my recent experience

no but really ik what you mean it’s really frequent that ppl take, like, politeness or good cheer as “oh this person is INTO me”

no sir I’m just in a good mood today

I spend a lot of time on Reddit and the most common answer I see to that exact question (from dudes specifically) is that they’re so starved for positive attention that any kindness is perceived as flirting, ig which like ... hm ... hmmmm

LMFAO IN HINDSIGHT I’M NOT SURE HOW I MISSED THAT IT COULD BE TAKEN FLIRTATIOUSLY I’m just kind of a facetious person but it IS a cute story ty

yw

BUT LIKE YEAH I FEEL IT?

I’m the kind of person to be a big dork on purpose constantly and so... I guess.... sometimes.... when coupled with a compliment ............ like tbh I can see where he was coming from in my case LMAO

I just didn’t realize it till after it came out of my mouth ig oh dear

drilnos: also you fucking nerd did you actually fr get high and Google that

ah yes, humorous hand gestures... how could I not see it before

I guess this means we need to normalize humans not being jerks to each other or none of us will ever be safe

LMFAO YEAH I HAD TAKEN AN EDIBLE BEFORE THAT CONVERSATION AND I LEGIT GOOGLED “HOW TO TELL IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY FLIRTED WITH SOMEONE” AND SHIT LIKE THAT

nonabridged: I’m glad to further your education

also holy shit I know right like

that this happens bc being nice for no reason isn’t more normalized is like ... well, it would be a nicer world lmao

drilnos: that is honest to god fucking hysterical and I love you

also, mood

“haha so I’m not being presumptuous or anything right”
“what are we presuming”
“haha cmon”

little did she know i was being serious bc i couldn’t believe this was happening to me

tbh, I wish I’d thought of that LMAO

HAHAHAHAHA

oh my god you poor thing you fucking suffered for that achievement

yeah no kidding well, that's all the more reason to keep being nice!! in defiance or something

“Little did she know I was being serious” I am in tears please send help this is the most relatable thing I’ve literally ever read in my life

LMAO I’M GLAD I COULD GIVE YOU SOME SOLIDARITY!!!! Sometimes it happens with girls but it will still catch you off guard

nonabridged: REAL!!!!!!! The be nice to people brigade begins today

we ride at dawn

the world shall bend to our polite and considerate will!!!!

to hand out flowers and thoughtful compliments

drilnos: jesus christ I pray for the day my dumb ass does this with a cute girl and she, like, isnt just a super affectionate straight chick because that’s literally happened to me like three times in my life

God. It’s agony. Either it’s straight girl thinking you’re a good friend or gay girl that doesn’t want to be presumptuous so she still treats you like a good friend

the time I mentioned above with the handholding, SHE took MY hand and weaved our fingers and I’m like 99% sure she told me I was pretty or smth? and straight up, she was just being nice, she was 100% into guys

Like that was literally 11 years ago and I still remember it so vividly because of the INTENSE GAY CONFUSION I was experiencing

Oh my god

straight girls, dude.

STRAIGHT GIRLS PLEASE we already have enough lesbians who won’t believe girls will date them even when they flat out say “i wanna date you”

LMAOOOOOOOO TOO REAL

“I want to date you will you go out with me”

later: hm, is she into me, I’m not sure

lesbian problems

one of these days I’ll get back on tinder, and proceed to probably suffer

touches the floor I'm legit dating ray bc i went and yelled in her dms after a truly wild adventure like WHY AREN’T WE DATING and she shrugged at me so apparently this is just how it goes

According to my wife, I am ALWAYS accidentally flirting with people