I'm...not good at keeping in touch with people. I used to be, but at some point I started just...being unable to communicate, hating that I couldn't do it. It causes me to disappear a lot. Online. IRL.

If my boyfriend didn't keep me held down as well as he does I'm sure I would have drifted off from him too.

I just...get worried about getting clingy, so I go the opposite direction.

And even though I know it's not the case, I get to thinking before that even happens that people are getting tired of me. So I drift off.

I keep trying to amend it, but it's hard.

Even talking casually on the phone with my family is rough. I can't just say "huh. Uhuh." and leave it at that.

I just feel moody.

I love you all. I don't know if anybody sees this.

But you all are always great for trying to play with me. Even when I fail at giving you anything good to play off of.

I'm gonna go back to reading porn and trying not to cry.

thekt

powerofredrangers