No victim blaming. The only person to blame for any of this is the fucker who is manipulating her. But she is almost pathologically unable to tell people know if they bully her enough

Which is why I'm pretty sure she's not returning my calls. It's her one way of saying no. If she talks to me and I say I'm coming over to be her guard/support/end this mess, she'll let me

The problem being....I'll respect that (even if I hate it). He won't.

He bullied her into putting on tracking so he can follow her phone at all times. He's harassing her about "cheating" on him (they aren't dating. She's gay.)

He bullies his way into her apartment. She moved the spare key, but I doubt that will stop him if she's home and he makes a big enough fuss

*tell people no

All I want to do is go over there and make sure she's okay. I don't think she's in physical danger (at this point), but it's still a danger. He's still abusive. This is still something she shouldn't have to deal with

But I also can't fix something she's not ready to fix, and I don't want to be just another steamroller in her life pushing her around

that's such a delicate balance, i'm sorry T_T it's so hard to watch people avoid a decision that needs to be made

but you're right, can't make that one for her. unfortunately

you're a good friend, and i think patience and support will see you both through

I know my partner will be a little relieved. He was worried about me being over there without him, in case abusive fucker DID get violent when confronted.

But I know his type. He'll yell, but he aimed for her because she can be controlled with verbal and emotional violence. I am not so easy to push around

And I was/am planning on bringing one of Josh's (my partner's) flow staffs with me. Clearly not a weapon, but it'll smart if I whack someone with it

/sigh.

I sent her cat pics. If anything will get her to respond, it's kitties. And if she gives me an opening, I can check on her and make sure she's okay